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Ross Jeffries Get Laid Newsletter (Apr/May 1994) Wimps into Winners: How to walk tall and kick butt with women!!(1994)

Ross Jeffries'
6245 Bristol Parkway, Suite 275                                 April/May
Culver, City CA 90230                                           1994
(310) 670-6547


Tuesday,  11:00 A.M.

Dear Friend,

        There's a common saying in street fighting that 95% of all real fights
wind up in a clinch and go to the ground.

        Could that really be true?  Frankly, I don't know.  But I will say this:
95% of the time, a woman will test you by the second date, or sooner, to

1. If you'll take her bullshit.

2. How hungry you are for her attention (remember: those who look hungry,
never get fed).

3. Just how much control she can exert over you and/or the relationship.

        In this issue, I'd like to talk about how you can pass those tests, and
how to do some testing of your own.  Believe me, this is important.  If
you've ever been dumped for being "too nice", or have been told, time and
again, "let's just be friends", it's because you haven't learned to
recognize when you're being tested or just haven't yet learned how to
properly respond.   You thought you would get points for being
"co-operative" and "helpful", and instead you just got the fuzzy end of the

Why She Tests You: The Search For Strength And Certainty

        Look: one of the primary things that women are looking for from a man is
security; the feeling that someone is stronger than they are.  When
you put a woman in her place, when you set rules and boundaries for her to
follow, it lets her know she can relax around you and feel comfortable and
secure.  This search for strength is the single most important reason why
she tests you.

        The other factor is ambivalence, or what I call the "make up my mind for
me" syndrome.  You see, the sad reality is that often a woman just isn't
that interested in you one way or another.  Maybe you aren't exactly the
physical type she goes for, maybe she just got burned in a bad
relationship, or there's some unseen competitor who she's waiting to hear
from.  What ever her reasons, you can tell this is happening when you hear
something like, "Uh...well, I'd like to go out with you Friday, but why
don't you call me late Friday afternoon and I'll let you know for sure?".

        Finally, there is the fact that sometimes modern women just get
overwhelmed with eighty billion things they are trying to do at once.  And,
when overwhelmed, they flake on commitments that occur during the peak of
the overwhelm.

        How To Handle It..Dealing From A Position Of Strength

        To get back to street fighting analogies, there's a concept from Jeet Kun
Do, the fighting style of the late, great Bruce Lee, that basically says
that any weapon thrust your way as part of an attack is just a convenient
target to be destroyed.   Coming from this perspective, an attack, rather
than something to be feared, is just an unprecedented opportunity to.....


        Just so, a woman's bullshit and tests are great opportunities to establish
respect and dramatically increase her interest in you.  In other words,
your response to these tests, instead of being, "Oh no...why is she doing
this?  What did I do wrong?", from now on will be....


        Look:  your attitude has to be that every rude piece of behavior, every
silly test of hers is just an unprecedented opportunity for you to
establish respect, increase her interest, and intensify her desire to
please you.

        Taken from this perspective, you'll be mentally prepared, and may even
find yourself actually looking forward to her trying to pull shit, since
you know it's your chance to get her really hot for you!!!!

        Now, before we go on to some specific scenarios, let me add one other
thing:  when you do put her in her place ...


        In other words, the macho idiot who loses control and trashes the place
when his girlfriend comes home ten minutes late is defintely not the
example to follow.  All he's doing is showing he can't control himself and
he just earns the woman's contempt.

        Notice I'm not saying you can't or shouldn't get a little pissed.  Just
don't go nutso with a stream of obscentities. ( Streams of obscentities are
for afterwards, when you are in bed with her.)

        The other thing that doesn't work is acting like a hurt little boy.
Whining stuff like, "How could you do this to me?" or, "But you promised!"
won't cut it, good buddy.

        No.  You have to come from the calm, but firm"take it or leave it"
position.   This is all part of displaying the critically


        You see, after years of experience and study, I've come to the conclusion
that a woman can only experience real passion for if on some level she
believes she could do something to lose you!   Understand that when you
show this willingness to walk away, in any area of your life, it conveys
the message that you are the prize to be pursued, that you are the person
of value, and they had better take advantage of the opportunity.  This is
an attitude that will move you forward in any area that's challenging you.

        By way of contrast, If you show a non-stop, forever and ever devotion to
her, and put up with her crap and ambivalence, then where is that tension
of knowing she could lose you?

        Answer:  no where!  And that's why you get no where when you put up with
this kind of stuff!  If you've seen an initially hot relationship grow
ice-cold, this is one big reason!!!

        Ok.  On to some scenarios.

        Scenario one:  You call to ask her out for the first time.  Her response
is ambivalent, something like, "Well, I'd like to but, why don't you call
me later in the week and..."

        Here's your response:"Let me ask you a question, point blank.  Is going
out with me something you can take or leave or is it something that you're
smart enough that you really want to do that?".  Then shut the hell up and
listen for her answer.

        Now, what are you doing here?  You're calling her on her ambivalence and
letting her know you don't have time to be put on hold.   And you're
also suggesting she's stupid if she doesn't grab this opportunity. Finally,
you're embedding a command (about which much more later in other issues of
this newsletter) that she really does want to go out with you.  Will this
work?  Very often it does. It's not what she's expecting, and that always
gets attention. Just be as matter of fact and non-hostile as you can.
Understatement works best with this one.

        What if she still hesitates? Well, try this one:

You:  Look. You have my number, and I'm going to leave it up to you.  And
you know, if you don't call it's going to be a loss for me, but maybe what
you won't realize until after you hang up is, that it'll be a loss for you as
well.  Ok?  Bye.

        Scenario Two:  She calls and cancels at the last minute without offering
to do it again at some specific time. (I've heard every excuse in the book,
my friend, from "My parakeet is sick" to "I've got to shampoo the rug".

        Her:  I can't make it.  I've got a rare tropical disease that's causing me
to shrink by the hour.

        You: (dead silence for as long as it takes for her to talk again.  Just say

        Her:  Hello?  Are you there?  What's wrong?

        You:  What's wrong is I can't believe the bullshit I'm hearing.

        Her:  What?????

        You: made a commitment to spend time with me and now you're
blowing me off. You're disrespecting me and disrespecting my time and I'm
NOT going to put up with it.  My rule is, if someone makes a commitment to
me, I expect them to keep it.  If they can't keep it, I need to know at
least a day in advance so I can make other plans.  Got it?  If you can live
with that rule, great...if not, sayanora!

        Then, HANG UP!!

        Now, this may sound extreme, but man does it work well!!!  In fact, she'll
probably call back with five minutes and apologize and ask you out!!!  I'm
not kidding here; I've seen the hardest, jaded bitches go to giggly little
girls, eager to please me when I've done this.  It throws some kind of
switch in their heads.   I guess with some people, you don't really get
their attention until.....

You Give Them A Swift Kick In The Ass!!

Scenario Three:    You go to pick her up at her place and she either keeps
you waiting outside for more than ten minutes, or lets you in and then
proceeds to talk on the phone for at least that long while totally ignoring
you. Wait for her to finish, and as soon as she does say something like

YOU: Can I ask you a question?

HER: Sure.

YOU: Are you being intentionally rude to test me, or are you just an
accidental asshole?

HER: (mouth dropping open in shock, unable to say anthing!)

YOU:  Don't ever keep me waiting like this again, ok?  I'll always treat
you respectfully, but I expect the same.  Do you understand me?

HER: Uh..uh...yes.

YOU:  Good.  Let's see you make it up to me.

And at this point grab her and kiss her passionately.  If you can, try to
turn this into a fuck then and there.  Why give her an evening on the town
and reward her rotten behavior?


        Since we're on the subject of attitude, I thought I'd review the other
most important POWER ATTITUDES  for ultimate success with women. (If you
read them before in some of my other stuff, read them again.  Repetition is
often the mother of skill!)

        Here they are:

1. Being with me is the best possible choice any woman can make.     Now,
can you prove that this is true?  No, of course not.  It isn't a factual
statement about an objective truth; it's a position you choose to come
from.  And by the way, never verbalize this attitude, for Christ sake.  If
you get right in a woman's face and say, "being with me is the best choice
you can make, baby", you are going to get creamed.  Show it in your

2.  I consistently display the willingness to walk away.  (We just went over
this.  I ain't gonna explain it again)

3.I give a woman a little bit of what she wants, and then pull back and
make her work for more.   As sad as it seems, if you are too giving to a
woman, too soon, you come off as hungry and needy and she just winds up
dumping you.  You see, guys who are successful with women give a free
sample, but nice guy losers give away the store.   You must, no MUST learn
to say "no", make yourself a little scarce and unavailable, and keep her a
little bit in doubt.

4. I always come from the place of being determined to do what works.  So
many times I've had people whine to me, "why can't I just be myself?".
What that really means is, "I want to be lazy and do what I've always done
all along, even though it doesn't work!".  Look, to really win big in life,
you have to be consistent.  And that means applying these principles, all
the time, even when you don't particuliarly feel like it, and especially if
you are in a slump.

5. I never attach excess meaning to winning or losing with women.  I
can (and will) do a whole issue on this one, but basically what I mean is to
realize that if a woman accepts you, it doesn't mean that the next one
will, so stay on your toes, and  don't get lazy or sloppy.(See item #4
directly above)  And if she rejects you, it just means that the approach
you tried, at this particular time, with this particular woman, hasn't
worked...yet.  It might work at another time with her, or you may just need
another approach. Even if it doesn't, as I once told a friend of mine who
only thought he saw me get rejected.....

Dan, I never get rejected. I only discover if a woman has good taste!!

6. I don't need to win all the time; I size up a woman's potential and either
go for it or move on and cut my losses FAST.  Sometimes the best choice is
just to say, "adios" and move on.  When you realize that you don't have to win
all the time, then it takes the pressure off and you become much more relaxed.
Ironically, and paradoxically, this almost always leads to your winning far
more often than you ever imagined possible!!!!

7. I never know what physical type a woman will go for so I always for it
congruently and powerfully.  Listen:  women are much more individualistic
in what they like, physically speaking.  I once had a gorgeous young thing
tell me that if Mel Gibson or Tom Cruise asked her out, she'd say, "no"
because she only liked tall, thin black men!! You just don't know, so go
for it anyway.

        Aren't those just great? Can you imagine how great you'll do with women
when you have these attitudes cruising around in your horny little mind?
Would you like to hear a shameless plug for my "Unstoppable Confidence And
Power With Women" tape series, which not only explains  in great detail the
application of these  super-attitudes but also gives you mind-blowing
techniques to super-charge your self-image so you automatically wind-up
making all the right moves every time?

         What's that you say?  You don't?   Ok.  Then I'll wait till the P.S. of
this issue to mention it!!

Pick-Up Line Of The Month Department

        This month's pick-up line comes from yours truly, Ross Jeffries, but
please feel free to write in and share your favorite.

        You:  Why are you like a season ticket holder at the opera?

        Her:  Why?

        You:  Cause you got the best seat in the house!!!!

Ross's Plug Corner

        Listen:  recently one of my students turned me on to a very cool
mind-machine device called the "Voyager".   You put this thing on, and it
helps you enter all sorts of really neat altered states, which is not only
lots of fun, but also  mightily enhances the results of any visualization,
affirmations, goal setting, etc.  I've experienced some mind-blowing
visions, waking dreams, etc.  Plus it's dramatically enhanced my
creativity, confidence, and energy in general.  If you'd like to find out
more, or arrange for a demonstration,  please give me a call at (310)
670-6547.  It's the perfect product to supplement your "Unstoppable
Confidence Tapes". (Oops.  Sorry.  I promised to wait til the "P.S".)

                                                           Peace and piece,


P.S:   OK...HERE'S THE PLUG!!!!  If you haven't gotten my "Unstoppable
Confidence Tapes" then for crimony's sake, what are you waiting for?
They're absolutely amazing!!  You'll find a write up and some hot
testimonials in the catalog that came with this issue of my newsletter.  So
call Dr. Yates  at (703) 791-6421 and get your set now!!

P.P.S.  We encourage you to write with your letters, comments, questions,
pick-up suggestions, etc.  And if you have a product you'd like me to carry
in my catalog, I'm always happy to talk with you!!

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