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Actualism Lightwork Training, Part 4: Enlightening Your Relationships

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From: (Bruce R Jaffe)
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Date: 24 Feb 1994 09:00:07 -0500
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ACTUALISM, Part 4: Enlightening Your Relationships

(C)1993 Bruce R. Jaffe, PhD.
All rights reserved. Feel free to copy this document and pass it on,
but any commercial use requires express permission of the author.

SUMMARY: All of life is relationship. With enlightened awareness and
the purifying light-fire energy one can move into relationships as a
Being of Light, rather than as a "mere mortal". As we purify our
intrapersonal and interpersonal relationship lines, we find increasing
harmony and rewards in all inner and outer relationships. File
includes a meditation technique for working on healing relationships.

This is Part 4 of the Actualism series of articles. If you are missing
any or all of the previous articles, please e-mail and I will be glad
to forward a copy to you.


One of the fundamental aspects of human beings is that we have in our
natures the seeds of every life form on earth. Our physical bodies are
made from the same stuff as the sea, the land, the air and the fire of
life on this planet. We are life in action. From conception as a
one-celled animal, our bodies grow into the magnificent creature we
call a man or a woman. During the passage through the prenatal
process, the form recapitulates the most ancient evolutionary trek
through the most basic creature forms to our present form. Here is the
physical linkage between us and all life around us--our atoms and
molecules come from the same source.


As little children we have a natural tendency to respond to all life
directly with a spirit of awe, wonder, curiosity, intimacy, joy and
delight. "Only as ye become like a child can ye enter the kingdom of
heaven," as it says in the Bible. Unfortunately, with conditioning
imprints and influences we learn rapidly to forget this natural love,
wisdom, and goodwill in relationships and become cut off from our
awareness of that spontaneous joy of giving and receiving freely and
abundantly from the heaven within.

The greatest challenge of healing and enlightening relationships is to
remove the barriers to the "God-Child" within us. Then once again, as
adults, we can experience and express from our heaven within,
uninhibited and unburdened by guilt, shame, blame or condemnation.

In Actualism, as you have no doubt begun to experience if you have
been practicing the techniques presented in this series of articles,
we work directly with light-fire-energy to dissolve obstructions to
life-flow, and to awaken awareness to the "Actual Self" or Being of
Light that each one is. As you learn to heal the scars and wounds in
your relationship to yourself, you find that you can relate to others
from a deeper understanding and compassion for their conditioning.
This is not "pity" or smug "superiority", but rather relating from the
heaven within you to the heaven within another person, regardless of
outer appearances.


Many people spend their lives "looking for" or "waiting for" a special
someone with whom to share their life. Unfortunately, that's usually
about as unsuccessful as seeking happiness.  Happiness comes as a
by-product of fulfilling a need. If you seek happiness, you will
seldom find it, because seeking it drives it away. The same is true
with finding a soul mate. It sounds trite, but it is true: when we are
ready, he or she will find us.  Once we do connect with someone
deeply, the work on ourselves and on relationships continues.

One of the grand illusions about relationships is that they ought be
perfect.  We all know the fairy tale, idealized imagery in our culture
about riding off into the sunset with the perfect, one true love.
When one "falls in love" it seems for a while that the relationship is
perfect. Naturally, however, relationships change and evolve. That is
why a relationship is never truly "finished".


Whenever we THINK of someone, we are engaging in a moment of relating
with that person, whether in love or hate, joy or grief, wisdom or
fear, goodwill or anger.  Thoughts are things, and thinking of someone
puts us in direct contact with them in consciousness.  Recall the four
laws of life-energy from the first article in this series:

1. Awareness directs thought. 
2. Thought directs energy and life-energy follows thought.
3. Where there is pain, from mild discomfort to acute
    distress, the flow of life-energy is obstructed.
4. Where awareness is focussed, the power of life-energy 
    is concentrated. 

Being aware of this interconnectedness through thought with anyone we
think of, we can work in consciousness on problems in communication
and in relating. We may not be able to change someone else's attitudes
and behavior, but we can change how we react to them.  In fact, with
enlightened awareness you can move into that in you which corresponds
to whatever in another person you find annoying, and change how you
relate to that aspect of yourself.  By accepting with love and light,
rather than rejecting and hating that aspect of yourself, you
transform how you relate to the other person on many levels of
consciousness. Often that will have a transforming effect on the
other person as well.


Using inner light-fire-energy, we refine and purify our relationships
even when physically separated. As Beings of Light, we are actually
never separated. Here is a simple, practical technique for working on
healing relationships using inner light-fire-energy:

1. Begin as in the previous articles (Actualism, Parts 1,2,3) by
gathering and enlightening your knowing, emotional, and sensory
awareness. Think of, which turns on your white star, and let the
energy downpour throughout your body from head to toe.  (You do NOT
need to spin the star in this session).

2. Choose someone in your life that you would like to work with (at a
distance) in this session. Pick a relationship you would like to
improve. It could be anyone from a close, intimate loved one to a
casual acquaintance.

3. Move with enlightened awareness into your "upper room", about six
inches (20cm) above the center of the top of your head. This is a
place from which you can touch into the unobstructed, undeviated union
with the Being of Light of the person with whom you are working in
this session. Think and let your awareness touch into this union with
the person's beautiful Being of Light, even if you feel totally at
odds with the personality.

4. Bring awareness of your union as Beings of Light into your brain.
Observe any tightening, tension, or discomfort that comes up in your
head as you do this. Think and let the consuming fire aspect of the
white light begin to process any negative thoughts about that person's
ideas and mental attitudes as you focus here on your union with him or
her. Your brain and the other persons may have been "out of sync" in a
way that has kept you from having a harmonious mental relationship.
After things ease up in your brain, spend a minute or more
assimilating the purified energy essence here.

5. Shift your focus into your heart and liver. The heart is located
between the breasts, the liver is just below the right breast.  As you
focus awareness of your union as Beings of Light with the person with
whom you are working, observe any tension or discomfort that comes up
here. Also observe any negative feelings that come up here.  Let the
consuming fire aspect of the white light begin to process any negative
thoughts or feelings that come up here about the other person. Here
you are working on your emotional relationship. As things lighten up
here, spend some time assimilating the purified essence.

6. Bring awareness of your union as Beings of Light into your solar
plexus. From here you can expand out with enlightened awareness
throughout the nerves throughout your entire body. Observe any tension
or discomfort that come up here. This is where you can work on your
sensory/perceptual relationships. Here differences in perspective and
sensory preferences can throw communication off between people. As you
clean up any negative thoughts, feelings, or sensations that become
activated here while unifying with the Being of Light of the other
person, you'll find that you can learn to harmonize with their
perspectives.  Harmonizing does not mean you have to like what they
like, or totally agree. It means finding at least a point of common
reference on which to build communication.

7. Expand your enlightened awareness to include your solar plexus,
nerves, heart, liver, brain, and upper room. Experience the greater
degree of harmony in consciousness that you have already established
with the other person.  You may find it very helpful to do this
session from time to time with the same person to re-harmonize when
things go off track, but it gets easier with practice.

8. (Optional): The process described above can be extended to include
the pelvic bowl and generative-regenerative systems where appropriate.

9. Enjoy enhanced awareness of your Actual relationships. Problems in
relationships are opportunities for growth, though sometimes
well-disguised. The more you relate to others as a Being of Light,
recognizing the Being of Light that each one is, the more enlightened
and fulfilling your relationships will become.

Please feel free to send me reports on your experiences, and any
questions or comments:

E-mail:                               |     Postal Mail:
Internet:             |     Dr. Bruce R. Jaffe
CompuServe: 73112,2647                |     New York Actualism Center
America Online: Actualism             |     27 West 72nd Street
                                      |     New York, NY 10023, USA
212-873-5826 (leave message)

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