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TUCoPS :: Physical Security :: burglar.txt

Robbing Houses for Phun and Profit





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^                     ROBBING HOUSES PHOR PHUN AND PROFIT                    ^
^                                                                            ^
^                                     BY                                     ^
^                                                                            ^
^                              PROWLER OF DLOC                               ^
^                                                                            ^
^                                MAY 24,1989                                 ^
^                                                                            ^
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 DISCLAIMER:
     IF YOU GET BUSTED DOING THINGS MENTIONED IN THIS PHILE, GO AHEAD AND
TELL THE PIGS/PHEDS THAT I TOLD YOU TO DO IT ALL! THAT'S RIGHT, I REALLY DON'T
GIVE A FUCK.  I HOPE YOU ROB EVERY HOUSE IN YOUR TOWN!


INTRODUCTION:
     I KNOW HOW IT GOES, YOU GO TO SCHOOL, PAY YOUR OWN FONE BILL, AND DON'T
REALLY HAVE TIME FOR A JOB TO MAKE ENOUGH MONEY FOR SUCH NECESSITIES AS A
100 MEG HARD DRIVE, NEW MONITOR, RAM EXPANDER, 19.2 KILOBAUD MODEM, ETC...
BUT DON'T GET DISCOURAGED, BECAUSE THERE'S A PHUN WAY TO MAKE MONEY IN YOUR
SPARE TIME!  IT'S CALLED BREAKING AND ENTERING (AND THEFT)!  LET'S SAY THE
DICK DOWN THE STREET JUST GOT A NEW VCR WITH 6900 PHUNCTIONS.  YOU CAN STEAL
THAT BASTARD AND FENCE IT FOR AT LEAST $75! THAT'S ALMOST HALF A RAM UPGRADE!
IN THIS AND THE PHOLLOWING PHILES, I'LL ATTEMPT TO TEACH YOU TO SAFELY ROB
THE RICH BASTARDS IN YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD.


PROCEDURE:

FAZE                   DESCRIPTION
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1-RECON                 CHECK THE PLACE OUT, PHIND OUT WHEN THE OCCUPANTS AND
                        NEIGHBORS ARE GONE.
2-PLANNING              MAP THE PLACE AND SURROUNDING AREAS. PLAN THE BEST
                        GETAWAY ROUTE.
3-THE MISSION           GET IN, GET THE GOODS, GET OUT.           
4-THE AFTERMATH         HOW TO STAY COOL AFTERWARDS           
------------------------------------------------------------------------------


FAZE 1-RECON:

     IT'S IMPORTANT TO KNOW YOUR TARGET BEFORE YOU GO IN.  CHECK THE PLACE OUT
IN YOUR SPARE TIME UNTIL YOU KNOW AT LEAST THE FOLLOWING:

                                WHAT HOURS ARE THE OCCUPANTS HOME?

                                WHAT HOURS ARE THE NEIGHBORS HOME?

                                DO THEY HAVE DOGS?

                                DO THE NEIGHBORS HAVE DOGS?

                                HOW CLOSE IS THE NEAREST PIG STATION?

                                DO THEY HAVE ALARMS?

                                ARE THERE ANY DOORS/WINDOWS WHERE NO                                            NEIGHBORING HOUSES CAN SEE THEM?

                                DOES ANYONE ELSE SEEM TO BE WATCHING THE PLACE?

ANY INFORMATION YOU CAN GET ON THE PLACE WILL BE USEFUL.


FAZE 2-PLANNING

  USING THE INFORMATION GATHERED IN FAZE 1, YOU SHOULD DETERMINE THE BEST WAY
IN AND OUT OF THE BUILDING.  IF THERE ARE WOODS AROUND, I WOULD SUGGEST GOING
THROUGH THEM.  NEVER TAKE A WAY OUT THAT TAKES YOU THROUGH APARTMENT COMPLEXES
OR HEAVILY POPULATED AREAS.  IF YOU'RE TARGET IS IN AN APARTMENT COMPLEX, GIVE
IT UP RIGHT NOW.                                                                
FAZE 3-THE MISSION

  YOU SHOULD TRY TO BE IN AND OUT WITHIN LESS TIME THAN IT WOULD TAKE FOR THE
POLICE TO ARRIVE IF YOU WERE REPORTED.  A GOOD STANDARD IS 10 MINUTES.  IF 
YOU'RE INSIDE WHEN THE POLICE GET THERE, HIDE AND PLAY IT COOL. THEY NEVER
LOOK TO HARD, IF THEY GO IN AT ALL. JUST DON'T LEAVE ANY DOORS OPEN, AND DON'T
BUST ANY GLASS GOING IN WHERE IT CAN BE SEEN BY OTHER HOUSES.  
GETTING IN:  YOU SHOULD HAVE FIGURED OUT HOW TO GET IN IN FAZE 1, BUT IF YOU
HAVEN'T YET, HERE'S A FEW HINTS:

WINDOWS-TRY NOT TO BREAK ANY IF IT'S AT ALL AVOIDABLE.  MOST CAN BE UNLOCKED
WITH A CREDIT CARD OR SCREWDRIVER.  IF YOU ARE GOING TO BUST ONE, COVER IT
WITH SILVER DUCT TAPE FIRST.  THEN BUST IT WITH A FIST OR A STICK.  A ROCK
WILL MAKE A HELL OF A NOISE.  FORGET GLASS CUTTERS AND SUCTION CUPS. THAT SHIT
ONLY WORKS RIGHT IN THE MOVIES.

DOORS-IF SOMEONE IS DUMB ENOUGH TO LEAVE A DOOR UNLOCKED, WALK RIGHT IN!  DON'T
TRY ANY STUPID SHIT LIKE TRYING TO PICK THE LOCKS, BECAUSE YOU WILL ONLY DRAW
ATTENTION TO YOURSELF.  IF YOU GO IN THE FRONT DOOR, ANYONE WHO SEES WILL MOST
LIKELY THINK SOMEONE LET YOU IN.

ONCE YOU'RE IN, YOUR FIRST OBJECTIVE IS TO GRAB THE SHIT YOU WANTED. WHEN YOU
HAVE THE SHIT, DON'T WASTE TIME LOOKING FOR MORE TO STEAL.  THE BIGGEST KILLER
OF THIEVES IS GREED.  YOU SHOULD ALREADY HAVE DECIDED WHERE YOU'RE GOING TO
STASH THE SHIT, SO GO THERE AS QUICK AS POSSIBLE, BUT DON'T GET SEEN RUNNING
FROM THE HOUSE.  IF JOE BOB NEXT DOOR SEES YOU RUNNING AWAY FROM THE HOUSE,
HE'LL CALL THE PIGS PHOR SURE!  IF YOU ARE SEEN, ALL IS NOT LOST.  IF THE
PERSON WHO SAW YOU KNOWS YOU, I WOULD PUT THE STOLEN SHIT BACK, LEAVE THE
HOUSE EXACTLY AS I FOUND IT, AND WORK ON AN ALIBI.  IF NOTHING'S MISSING AND
YOU HAVE AN ALIBI, EVERYONE IS MORE LIKELY TO BELIEVE YOU THAN THE IDIOT WHO
SUPPOSEDLY SAW YOU STEALING SOMETHING.

FAZE 4-THE AFTERMATH

WELL, YOU GOT YOUR SHIT (SOMEHOW) AWAY PHROM THE HOUSE AND NOW WHAT?  WELL, YOU
HAVE A PHEW OPTIONS.                                                            YOUR BEST BET IS TO SELL THE SHIT >QUICK< BEFORE ANYONE CAN GET AROUND TO
CALLING THE POLICE.  IF YOU STOLE HARDWARE, TRY TRADING IT WITH SOMEONE ELSE
WHO HAS SIMILAR HARDWARE, SAY YOU TOOK FRED'S 9600 BAUD MODEM. TRADE BUFORD
FRED'S 9600 FOR HIS 9600.  THEN IF THE PIGS COME AND TRASH YOUR HOUSE, THEY'LL
ONLY FIND BUFORD'S 9600 BAUD MODEM, WHICH YOU HAVE A GOOD EXCUSE FOR HAVING.
(BUFORD GOT IN TROUBLE FOR HIS GRADES, SO HE'S LETTING ME BORROW IT)
(BUFORD'S COMPUTER IS SCREWED)
(ETC...)
JUST MAKE SURE TO CALL BUFORD AND FILL HIM IN (JUST INCASE THE PIGS VISIT HIM
TOO.)

A FEW TIPS:

THIS IS MOSTLY COMMON SENSE, BUT SOME PEOPLE DON'T KNOW ALL THIS SHIT.

ALWAYS WEAR GLOVES. SURE, THE PIGS MIGHT NOT HAVE YOUR PRINTS ON FILE, BUT 
THEY CAN TAKE PRINTS FROM THE SCENE OF THE HORKING AND COMPARE THEM TO YOU.

NEVER ROB HOUSES IN APARTMENT COMPLEXES.  THERE IS ALWAYS AT LEAST 1 PERSON
HOME IN THE BUILDING, AND YOU'D BE SURPRISED AT HOW OFTEN THEY ARE NOSY
ENOUGH TO SEE WHO'S IN THE HALL.

NEVER KEEP STOLEN SHIT AT YOUR OWN HOUSE. EITHER TRADE IT OR SELL IT TO SOME
DUMB FUCKER.  IF HE GET'S BUSTED, YOU CAN ALWAYS DENY EVER SEEING THE GOODS.

AS STRESSED ABOVE, PLAN AHEAD. BE QUICK, GO IN AND OUT, AND DON'T FUCK AROUND
WHILE YOU'RE INSIDE.

NEVER GRAFFITTI THE PLACE UP, OR LEAVE NOTES SAYING THINGS LIKE "HA HA I GOT
YOUR SHIT".  THAT IS NOTHING BUT AN EGO TRIP THAT WILL GET YOU BUSTED.

WHEN (IF) QUESTIONED BY POLICE, DENY EVERYTHING.  ALWAYS ASK TO HAVE A LAWYER
PRESENT.  SURE, YOU MAY BE SHOOK UP FROM THEM BEING THERE AND READING YOU
YOUR RIGHTS, BUT THAT'S WHAT THEY WANT. PLAY IT COOL, AND STICK TO THE SAME
STORY NO MATTER WHAT! A CONSISTENT LIE IS BETTER THAN INCONSISTENT TRUTH.


STAY COOL AND ROB EVERYONE BLIND!

PROWLER
DLOC

IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS (DUH) CONTACT ME ON ONE OF THESE FINE SYSTEMS:

------------------------------------------------------------------------------
^RIPCO...........................................................312/528-5020^
^THE DARK SIDE...................................................602/789-9269^
------------------------------------------------------------------------------



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