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TUCoPS :: Cyber Culture :: onlinean.asc

On-line flirting good cause for husband's concern (Ann Landers)




Taken from: Times-Colonist newspaper, January 8th, 1996
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PERSONAL ADVICE
On-line flirting good cause for husband's concern
ANN LANDERS

   DEAR ANN LANDERS: The  letter  from "Outmaneuvered in Arizona" hit
close  to  home.   He was the man whose wife began an affair over the
computer.
   Six  months  ago,  my wife, "Betsy," told me I had been neglecting
her  because  of my long hours on the night shift.  Thinking it would
occupy  her time, I showed Betsy how to use the on-line chat service.
Before long  she was  spending  hours  every  night  on the computer,
chatting with men.
   Betsy  told  me  not  to  be  threatened.  She even showed me some
pornographic images sent to her by one of her new "friends."  I asked
why  she  would  continue to talk to people who would send such kinky
pictures.  She insisted they were "nice guys" and it was all in fun.
   Two  month's ago, I found a computer message Betsy had saved.  She
had  told someone named "Bryan" that she was falling in love with him
and was  eager  to  meet  him "in a neutral city" to find out if they
were soul mates.
   When  I  confronted her,  she  said it was a joke.  Then I found a
message saying she  was sending Bryan a video of her stripping.  This
shook me up and made me realize the fun and games had gone too far.
   I told Betsy the computer was destroying our marriage.  She said I
was being  ridiculous.   Last  week,  I got on the day shift and hope
this  will  help.   Meanwhile,  Betsy  is  still  on-line with Bryan,
running  up  charges  in excess of $300 per month.  I need your help,
Ann.
                                                               FRESNO

   DEAR FRESNO: I  have  been  hearing  a  lot  of late about on-line
romances  and  have  concluded that there are now hundreds of married
men and women flirting with strangers in this manner.
   You and  your  wife  should  seek joint counceling at once.  Other
married  folks who are engaging in what appears to be a harmless pas-
time  should  be aware  that  they are playing with fire.  Therapists
have labeled this a genuine addiction.


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