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TUCoPS :: Cyber Culture :: neoredbx.txt

The "Neo Red Box" - a spoof




From really61763164@yahoo.com Sun Sep 15 20:32:23 2002
From: really61763164@yahoo.com (Gee Doubleya Poosh)
Newsgroups: alt.phreaking
Subject: +-----NEO--REDBOX----+
Date: 15 Sep 2002 20:32:23 -0700
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+-----NEO--REDBOX----+
|  A working RedBox  |
| September 15, 2002 |
+-by:--George-W-Bush-+

Neo, like new. Like... whoa! (tm)


I am drastically saddened at the loss of AT&T's ACTS system.
Infact, I am so distraught that I've spent these last months
since the removal of ACTS developing a new technique to
obtain free telephone calls from payphones.

The methods I shall describe will work on any payphone
anywhere, as long as it is attached to the the PSTN.

This is a revolutionary breakthrough of materialistic coupling.
Please continue to read.

For this scheme to work properly you shall need to obtain
the following materials:

2     Funnels
1     Length of rubber tubing
1     8 Ohm speaker
4     Long wires
2     Radio Shack digital recorders 
      ($9 recorders in the parts section)
2     9 Volt batteries for the recorders.
1     Can of Red Dog beer (or any beer, it doesn't matter)

And last yet not least, a WAV file of a KP2 tone which is a Bluebox
tone. You can find the KP2 tone on the net fairly easily, just
search for it.

! Construction !

Attach the batteries to the recorder, and record the KP2 tone onto each
recorder.

Attach the tubing to each funnel so that it fits snugly.

Attach two wires to each side on the 8 ohm speaker.
You may attach them with anythingexcept they must 
contact the terminals on the speaker.

Unplug each battery from each recorder.
Now, place the + (positive) wire from the speaker on the + of
one battery and then snap the clip back onto the battery.

Next, perform the same actions with the other battery.

Your Neo RedBox is almost complete.
Just a few finishing touches and you shall be powerful enough
to steal telephone calls.

Take the recording contraption you had just wired, 
your funnel contraption and the can of RedDog beer to 
your favorite payphone.
Lift the receiver and attach one funnel to the mouthpiece and place
the receiver on the phone.

Push the speaker into the funnel that is left over, and press
the play buttons on each recorder.

What this is doing is setting the alkaline levels of the 
telephones internal 36 volt dry-cell battery.
The KP2 tones tell the telephones computer to ground your connection.

You must now dial 10-10-2880 which is AT&T.
Once you've dialed that you should type in your phone number.

Now remove the recorders and put them into your pocket.
Pop open the can of Red Dog beer and when the operator appears
on the line, pour the can into the funnel so that the beer enters
the tubing and contacts the microphone of the telephone handset.

Place your ear closely to the earphone.
Does the operator appear drunk yet?
If not, you must blast her with a few KP2 tones to stirr
up her alcohol levels. 

Once she is completely drunk, you must mesmerize her.

"Dear wonderful madame, I truly adore your 1950's garb.
 Perhaps I shall take you to my mansion in the hills this weekend
 where we may endulge in French chocolates and southern moonshine.
 Would you mind kindly completing my call, my darling?"

She will say "Yes dear, anything for you, mmmm."

And there you have it. The Neo RedBox. 


! How and why it works !


The Red Dog beer completes grounding the electromechanism and actually
inducts the beer into the telephone wires.
Red Dog because it's red, but also contains harsh chemical matter which
make fusing any two objects together completely possible.

The beer through the telephone works much like quantum teleportation,
the atomic structure of the beer is broken down and then reproduced
at the operators side. 

AT&T operators ar forced to wear full head operators helmets.
So therefore if any liquid enters the helmet, she must drink it
since they do not have release valves and thier poor
heads are entombed with a 1 gauge width titanium locking device.

Quickly reading a survey conducted in 1992 by James Earl Jones,
I've discovered that 99.9% of AT&T operators become tipsy after
only one brew.

Finally, the reason we must dial the 10-10-2880 number first is due to
the fact that when this number is dialed, the internal
payphone alarms are disabled. 
This also connects us to the operator in whom we wish to drink under
the operators console.

Have fun and practice safe lushing. 
Please remember if you are an underage drinker (or in need of Red
Dog) some old woman or man will gladly buy your body for a case of
beer.
Sit out infront of the Liqour store spread-eagle until one starts
grasping your areas ludely.

Thank you for reading. Goodnight.

+-------------------------------------------+
+ The following program was not endorsed by +
+ the USA. Please remember that phone fraud +
+ is TERRORISM and so is reading this file. +
+ We will bomb you, fucker!  For no reason! +
+ Vengence! Ignorance! Burn the flag! Oop.. +
+-------------------------------------------+



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