____________________________________________________
______MEANWHILE_IN_A_SLIGHTLY_DIFFERENT_TIMELINE______

"They're on a build-up to detonation."

"How soon?"

"We encoded four minutes."

"Well, beam over and stop it."

"We can't," said David.

Kirk stared at him in horror.  "The warp engines are out, that 
cry-baby excuse for an engineer refuses to fix them, Khan has set 
off the Armageddon wave--and here you are saying you can't stop 
it!!!  We're all going to die and it's all your fault!!"

Spock straightened.  For several minutes he sat perfectly still 
with a thoughtful look on his face, then quietly rose and slipped 
from the bridge.

"Why does everything have to happen to me?  All I ever wanted was 
a nice quiet desk to hide, er, sit behind.  Is that too much to 
ask for?  But will that bastard Nogura leave me alone?  Nooooo.  
'Test the cadets, Kirk.  Give them some experience, Kirk.  What 
can happen on a little training cruise, Kirk?' HAH!" He paused 
for a fresh breath to continue but his tirade was sidetracked 
when he noticed Spock's empty chair.  "Oh, nevermind!  Good old 
Spock will fix it."  Kirk strutted over to his command chair, sat 
down and carefully smoothed his tunic down over his belly.  "Yep, 
good old dependable Spock."  He swiveled to face Uhura, 
"Lieutenant, inform Starfleet of what's happened and assure them 
everything is under control--"

"But sir--the radiation!  It'll kill him!"

"--and ask them to send me out a new first officer right away."

Kirk mused to himself, "Hmmm.  I guess I'd better get to work on 
his eulogy.  Greater love hath no man?  Naw, too emotional.  One 
for all and all for one?  Doesn't fit, somehow.  Better him than 
us?  Closer, but the tone's wrong.  The needs of the many 
outweigh?  Yeah, that'll do."  A stray thought whipped his head 
around to Dr.  McCoy.  "He _will_ be able to complete the 
repairs, won't he?"

"Sure.  Those pointy-earred freaks are tough --he'll have plenty 
of time to finish before the radiation finishes him." Bones added 
as he left, "I'll go get ready for his autopsy."

"Captain?"  Sulu said.  "My board reports the shuttle bay doors 
opening."

"Must be a malfunction, Helmsman.  We took quite a battering."

"Yessir."  Sulu flipped a few switches.  "No, sir.  The scanners 
show that a shuttlecraft definitely has been launched."

"Uhura--"

"Hailing frequencies open, Sir," she smoothly interrupted.

"Put it on the screen!" Kirk snapped and added a sotto voce 
'smart-ass'.  When the screen filled with a moire' swirl he 
declaimed, "Captain Kirk to shuttle craft.  Identify yourself!"

"Shuttlecraft Aristarchus, Spock in command."

The entire bridge crew stared up at the now cleared screen with 
slack jaws.  Spock gazed down at them coolly, then lifted a 
disdainful eyebrow at their continuing silent dumbfoundment.

"S-S-Spock!" Kirk spluttered.  "What are you doing out there?"

"Following the path of logic.  The life-support system of a 
shuttlecraft is limited but sufficient to maintain one person for 
the duration of an interstellar voyage."

"You're supposed to be down in Engineering!"

"If I remained on the bridge I would die.  If I went to 
Engineering I would die.  If I left in a shuttlecraft I would 
live.  Captain, surely even a human could select the proper 
course of behavior in a situation that clear-cut."

"But, but, but--what about the good of the many?  What about 
laying down your life for the lives of the crew?  What about 
me???"

"Vulcans have always preferred quality over quantity.  As Surak 
put it, devatAk t'hIn d-mOst."

"Huh?"

"The best, not the rest."

"The best--but that's _me_!  I'm the captain!  That means I'm 
better than you!"

"If you're so superior, why didn't you think of it first?" Spock 
said smugly as he broke the contact.

Kirk was speechless with rage--but unfortunately that lasted only 
for a moment.  "I'll tell you why I didn't think of it first!  
Because I'm a human!  And humans are brave!  Humans never say 
die!  There are other shuttlecrafts but do you see us sneaking 
away to save our skins?  No!  Humans don't care about living!  
Humans live only to strive against over-mounting odds!"

Under Kirk's inattentive eye Sulu nudged Chekov, then looked at 
the turbolift.  Chekov nodded and, as everyone but Kirk watched, 
the two snuck away.

"And when we've won through we seek out new disasters to die in!  
That's our first, best destiny!  What we all live for!"

Unnoticed by Kirk, Scotty raced Uhura for the next car.  He beat 
her out, but then gallantly held the door for her.

"The moment of death is the greatest point of life!  For only by 
dying do we truly live!  We seek immortality by dying well!"

Unheeded by a Kirk enraptured by the sound of his own voice, 
David just managed to squeeze into a car already crammed with the 
remainder of the bridge crew.

"And being immortal means we can die over and over again!  The 
reward of immortality is eternal mortality!  Only when we 
taste--"

"Kirk."  Bones' voice came from the intercom.

"--death can we savor life fully!  And once we've tasted death we 
can't--"

"Kirk!"

"--rest until we've drunk--"

"KIRK!!!"

"that sweet cup to the last bitter dreg!  And then we dip it into 
the well of death for--"

"_KIRK_!!!  Shut up and get your ass down to the hangar deck!"

"--another draught!  For nothing else can satisfy our thirst for 
life!  Only .  .  ."  Kirk's voice trailed away.  He shook his 
head like a man awakening from a trance.  "_What_ did you say?"

"If you don't hurry down all the shuttles will be gone!"

Kirk stared blankly around the deserted bridge, then did a double 
take as he realized where the others had gone.  Shouting "Wait 
for me!" he dashed to the lift--and slammed into the closed 
doors.

"Computer--get me a car!"

"Working.  Unable to comply.  All cars occupied and waiting to 
unload at the hangar deck."

Kirk paused, nonplussed for a moment, then declared "Ha!  Time 
for an action scene!" Rushing to the Jeffries Tube he slid down 
the ladder.  "No one knows the short-cuts through this ship 
better than me!"

As he ran along a corridor he puffed, "Too old, am I?"

As he ducked into an access port he panted, "I'll show them I'm 
no out-of-shape paper-shuffler!"

As he slipped into an ventilation duct he gasped, "I've never 
been fitter in my--ooof!" He came to an abrupt halt as his shirt 
snagged on a protrusion.  "They must have made these ducts 
smaller," he wheezed.  A couple of minutes squirming failed to 
get him free.  Saying "No problem--let's give the yeomen a 
thrill," he ripped out of his tunic and managed to squeeze out a 
vent into the mob milling before the doors of the hangar deck.

"Captain!" Sulu said.  "We only have, um," he paused to consult 
the cuckoo clock cradled in his arms, "two minutes left!"

 Kirk spotted Bones and pushed through to him.  "Are all the 
shuttles gone?"

Bones laughed bitterly.  "Nope.  Just the one Spock took."

"Well then," Kirk said, and shoved himself through the doors and 
into the shuttle Ptolemy.

Bones had followed him in, but instead of strapping in he leaned 
against a wall wearily.  "It's no use, Jim.  There's no fuel left 
in any of them."

Kirk gaped blankly for an instant before comprehension hit.  "You 
mean Spock drained the fuel out of .  .  ."

Sulu thrust his head into the shuttle.  "One minute to go!"

Furiously Kirk smashed his fist into the controls of the radio 
and bellowed "Kirk to Spock!"

At first only the strident squawks and squeals typical of a 
lytherette being mistreated by a self-declared expert could be 
heard, but then Spock sang (out of time and tune) "Yes, Captain?"

"Spock, how could you take all the fuel?!?"  Kirk sucked at his 
sore hand.  Speaking in an exaggeratedly reasonable tone he said, 
"Each shuttle had enough to get most of the way to Star Base 8.  
They'd send a ship out to pick you up before life-support ran 
out."

"Quite true, Captain.  But I am not going to Starbase 8."

"That's the nearest Federation location!"

"Also quite true.  However, as I did not have sufficient time to 
resign my commission and requisition use of transport through 
proper channels the reactions of Starfleet Headquarters would be 
most unfelicitous.  I did not preserve my life in order to spend 
the next few centuries dealing with obstreperous authorities."

"They'll lock you up for the rest of your life!"

"I believe I just said that."

Sulu popped his head in and chirped excitedly, "Thirty seconds!"

After a couple of exceptionally spine-curdling chords Spock went 
on, "No matter.  I am heading directly to Vulcan.  We have no 
extradition treaty with the Federation.  By the time one could be 
drawn up and signed I shall be able to claim diplomatic immunity. 
Father will be pleased: he always wanted me to follow in his 
footsteps."

"He meant as a scientist!"

"Whatever."

Kirk and McCoy stared at each other in despair, then left the 
shuttle craft.  By now the entire complement of the crew (minus 
one) was assembled in the shuttle bay.  Naturally this sight 
inspired Kirk to clamber atop the platform offered by the shuttle 
and launch into a speech.  "I want to take this opportunity to 
thank all of you for your loyal service and--"

"Fifteen seconds!" Sulu was virtually dancing in his excitement.

"Do you mind, Lieutenant?"  Kirk said coldly.

"No, sir.  Sorry, sir."  Sulu was shuffling from foot to foot.

"Your faithful service--"

"Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four," the scrutable 
Oriental was tap-dancing in time to his countdown.

Kirk threw up his hands in disgust.  "Oh, forget it!"

 "Three, two, one, NOW!!" Sulu settled into a time-step as the 
cuckoo popped out of his clock and began to chirp.  Everyone held 
their breaths--






















and the chirping went on.  And on.  And on.  Someone exhaled 
explosively.  Then some others.  Soon the insane twittering of 
the demented cuckoo bird was drowned out entirely by the sound of 
people gasping for a new lung-full of oxygen.

Then someone hollered "We're safe!" The rest picked up that cry 
of thanks-giving and soon the crew was madly conga dancing to 
that chant.

David came up to Kirk.  "I don't understand it!  It _should_ have 
worked!  I checked out all the arithmetic on my genuine Mattel 
Speak'n'Math!  Twice!"

Kirk chuckled gaily, and punched him in the shoulder.  "You take 
after your old man--why, if I hadn't broken into the 'Fleet 
academy computer and changed my grades I'd probably be taking 
bone-head math for the eightieth time right now!"

"Uh-oh."

Even though Sulu had barely whispered all the revelry died at 
once as they glared in his direction.

"Uh.  I guess I made a mistake.  I should have subtracted last 
month's Federation LeapMinute instead of adding it."

The silence stretched out until Bones reluctantly asked the 
question in everybody's minds, "Which means?"

"The Armageddon wave isn't due to hit us until exactly ..." Sulu 
counted quickly on his fingers, "now."  That syllable was still 
in his mouth when the whole ship seemed to shimmer.

* - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - *


When the ship stopped shimmying a remarkable change had taken 
place: the Enterprise had been transformed into a space-going 
hothouse.  Every inch of the deck, every inch of the bulkheads 
was covered with a thick growth of lush tropical vegetation.  Oh 
yes, and every stitch of clothing had vanished.

Kirk snatched a leaf from the nearest plant and employed it in 
the traditional manner.  His position as a leader-of-men was 
quickly confirmed when everyone else followed suit.  He took a 
deep breath and said, "David.  I expect an explanation for this."

But David looked just as confused as everyone else.  "I don't 
understand ....  It _half_ worked ..It made the plants, but it 
should have replaced the old animal life-forms with new ones ...  
new ones...NEW ones?  NUDE ones!  March and his damned puns!!!" 
and David reeled away giggling uncontrollably.

Kirk looked at Bones, who shrugged and then winced.  Both of them 
gazed at a large purplish bruise on Bones' shoulder.  "How'd you 
get that?"  asked Kirk.

"Funny...  I can't seem to remember..."  McCoy wandered off in 
confusion.

Uhura bounced jauntily up to Kirk.  "Shall I notify Starfleet?"

Kirk forced his eyes onto Uhura face, "Ah, sorry.  Lieutenant, I 
wasn't listening .  .  ."  He turned to watch as Saavik slipped 
by clutching a vine about her.  With a blush he swapped his leaf 
for a branch snapped from a nearby brush.  "Excuse me, 
Lieutenant.  I must .  .  .  notify Starfleet."  Emboldened by 
his larger shield he resumed his normally authoritative tone.  
"_Some_ of us keep our minds on our duties!" With that he sidled 
away through the hangar bay doors, keeping the branch 
strategically positioned.

The lift-car he entered was already occupied by Scotty whose arms 
were filled with bunches of grapes.  "How can you be hungry at a 
time like this?"

"Not hunger, Sir, thirst."  Scott said.  "A nice little Burgundy, 
now, wouldn't that just hit the spot?"

A voice that seemed to come from everywhere and nowhere boomed 
majestically, "Keep thy hands off my apples!"

Kirk hesitated "Do you suppose?  Naah."  Just then the lift-doors 
opened and he stepped onto the bridge.  Here, too, the vegetation 
had taken over --in fact, one particularly large tree was growing 
directly from his chair.  Kirk walked over and touched it as if 
he couldn't quite make himself trust the evidence of his eyes 
alone.

"Hey, Cappy.  Want to be the smartest man in the whole galaxy?" 
Startled, Kirk looked up and spotted a snake entwined through the 
branches of the tree.  "Go ahead, eat one," it hissed.  Kirk 
hesitated.  "It'll give you all the wisdom of the universe."  
Kirk still wavered.  "You'll be able to beat any Vulcan at 
chess."  Kirk snatched an apple and sank his teeth into it.

The warning chime of an incoming sub-space message sounded and he 
rushed over to the communication station to answer it.  Grabbing 
an earphone he casually sank into the chair--then rose rapidly 
and much less casually from the thorn-bush that had grown over 
it.

Kirk turned to glare at the snake, which returned a disgusted 
stare of its own.  "Well, it has to have something to start 
from--it's not magic you know!" The snake slid down the tree and 
slithered away.

Kirk raised one fist, and solemnly addressed the ceiling.  "I 
swear I'll never be naked again.  I don't care what Starfleet 
says.  I don't care what obstacles they try to throw in my path.  
I won't rest until I have completed the next mission of the 
Enterprise--


______________________________
______THE_SEARCH_FOR_SPOCK______

Coming sooner or later to an apa near you.