Canonical Tasteless Sex List [T-Z]

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TRAKADICK -
ck@iconix.oz.au (Chris Karadaglis):
Trakadick (v) : to repeatedly insert your mantool(tm) into the
trachea of a decapitated body.

TEA BAGGING -
smcafee@jarthur.claremont.edu:
Another custom my roommate has described to me is known as "tea-bagging".
This is when a guy squats over a babe's waiting mouth, and proceeds to
repeatedly dip his testicles into her salivating orifice.  NO, has hasn't
done it to me (thank God).

case@diku.dk (Steven Snedker) comments:
On teabagging I think it's also worth to note that the girl should wear goggels
if you've had spicy food the day before. I for one fart like a madman when I
have sex and she might go blind if you've had chili in tabasco sauce. The
objects lodged in your anus could also prove dangerous to the poor girl; it's
not nice to get a broomstick in the eye.

TEA ROOM TRADE -
rpotter@halibut.cis.upenn.edu, stcmille@copper.ucs.indiana.edu:
having sex through a hole in a bathroom stall ...

THE STOOL GAME -
case@diku.dk:
                        THE STOOL GAME
                        official rules
Two men sit in front of each other in a bathtub wanking. When the spunk/
water amount is 50:50, you start playing. Both put their feet on the sides
of the bathtub, and try to push their stool as far out as they can,
without losing it. It's extremely funny pushing it far out, then pulling it
in again, and many expierience a wonderful orgasm during this play.
The winner is the man that can push the stool the most far out, and then
still be able to retract it.

One suggested variation (sorry, I lost that post so I can't give proper credit)
is to trade a stool back and forth, the loser being the one to "drop" the
stool.

TIJUANA WALK-OFF, HEXAPODALITY:
HCHA8904593X@LUST2.LATROBE.EDU.AU (PERRETT, ANDREW):
I have been informed how to perpetrate hexapodiality.. take one large fly
(blowie's as they are called by those in the know) store in safe place.  Run
bath so that an erect penis forms an island. Rremove flys wings place on
'island' free to roam.. for the truelly cruelly tasteless.

kellsworth@pbs.org (Col. Dennis Bloodnok, O.B.E.):
The objective in this exercise is to be stimulated to orgasm by the walking
fly such that the poor thing is plastered to the ceiling by the ejaculate.
I tried this with a banana slug recently, but I wouldn't recommend it on
a regular basis!

t89par@tdb.uu.se (Par Svensson) adds:
The thrill, and therefore also the pleasure, would increase a lot if you
replaced the harmless insect with i.e. a wingless African killer bee.
The sensation of being stung by a poisonous creature in the very moment of
orgasm must be somewhat like the bizarre desire to strangle somebody,
your partner or yourself when ejaculation.

TIK-JACK -
blu@cellar.org (Dan Reed):
Another while on the subject is to place a 'tik-tak' in the end of
your dick, and get a blow job.  When you come, your partner will have
a "minty fresh treat"!  Yum!

TRANS-URINATION, REVERSE ENURESIS -
two catheters are attached to the ends of a tube.  The catheters are
inserted into two people's urethra's, and they trade urine.  Steroid abusing
athletes often have this done to be able to piss fresh, sweet, clean, urine
into the testing jar.

TWELVE STOREY FACE FUCK -
jmmoelan@cs.vu.nl (Moelands JM):
Ejaculating in your girlfriends face when you're standing on the balcony
of your room on the 12th floor and she is standing outside the building.
It needs a lot of practice before you can perform this.

URETHRA SEX -
9125113g@lux.latrobe.edu.au (Mitchell Davis ):
About .5% of women have an extended urethra opening, and
with practise (although this is not recommended) this
can be used as an alternative sexual "interface",
especially in older women after their skin starts to lose elasticity.

VACUUM FUCK, POWER MASTURBATION -
larry@rock.psl.nmsu:
I remember a story about some fellow who was into masturbating
with his shop vac. Supposedly, you get a good flutter going, and it is
pretty satisfying, and best of all: "There's no fuss no muss - everything
is just whisked away." according to him.

However he cautioned not to use a high power vaccuum cleaner. He said that
he had done so once and the suction was so great it pulled his penis and
scrotum into the nozzle, "nearly pulling my balls off" he said, until he
somehow managed to switch it off. Then he had to muster all his effort
to extract himself from the nozzle and found that the entire area was
thoroughly scraped and scratched.  The pain was tremendous.

Knowing how filthy the nozzle of a vaccum cleaner would be and thinking
about his open wound, he looked for a way to sterilize it, and found a
bottle of Mennen Skin Bracer, which he dutifully poured over his groin
area.

thf2@ellis.uchicago.edu (Ted Frank) adds:
Check out the July 5, 1980 issue of the British Medical Journal for more
details.

VAGINAL INFLATION, CUNNIBUBBLING, PUSSY POPPING -
bruce allen ediger:
One of my friends told me that the cow-tipper's girlfriend would get unspeakable
pleasure if you inflate a balloon to bursting inside her vagina.

droopie@vtcom3.vantek.net:
They would have to be the long, thin ones that they use to make balloon animals
with to get the full effect, it seems.  Just think about it... stick it in her
vagina all the way up to the opening of the balloon and then slowly inflate.
While it inflates, the length of it will slowly drive her into unbearable
ecstasy!  If she hasn't had an orgasm by the time it's fully inflated, slide it
in and out for a while until she's about to have one. Then just as she's about
to have it, blow it up inside her!  It'll send her WAY over the top!