Canonical Tasteless Sex List [N-R]

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NECKING, RETRO-FELLATIO, STOMA BLOWJOB, DEEP THROAT -
bgribble@jarthur.claremont.edu (Bill Gribble):
I had a dream last night that my grandmother was blowing me.  Nothing too
unusual about that.  The good part is that she has a stoma - a hole in
her throat about adam's apple level.  I was fucking her in the stoma and
she was sucking my dick as it curved up her throat into her mouth.

Nice gurgling noises, but nothing too spectacular.

daz@hal.gnu.ai.mit.edu suggests variations:
Obviously there are two major variations... fucking downward into their throat,
or (probably much perferably) going back up into their mouth.  That way they
might even be able to use their tounge to help get you off and couple swallow
the sperm back down onto your dick.  Better yet... they could eat all sorts of
solids and liquids and pass them past your dick as you fucked them.

Having them giving a blow job while you do this sounds cute, but I
think the sensation of feeling them swallow a large *warm* pile of fresh
shit while you pound your meet in and out thrusting in the opposite
direction of the shit's movement would create a very memorible opinion.

        I'd suggest a GIF of someone's penis urinating out of someone's
shit-covered mouth would be great thing to have, but I've been told that
gold showers are illegal photograph in the U.S.A.  Go figure...

NECK-ROPHILIA, VENTRILOJISM, THORAXING, THROGGING -
vinniej@sco.COM:
Well, the old-timers in this area may recall that Santa Cruz in the early
1970's had the dubious distinction of being the "Mass Murder Capital
of The World," due to a string of 3 multiple murders right around the
first part of the decade. As usual, I digress.........

One of the stars of this festival of carnage was a very large man
who killed several young women, but toward the end he killed his
mother, and in the delicate phrasing of one of the many books written
on the subject of the murders, "...after decapitation, he inserted his
penis repeatedly in the cavity of her throat...."

In other words, he lopped his mum's head off and FUCKED HER NECK!!!

saunders@luther.che.wisc.edu:
It may be important to distinguish between insertion into the trachea vs
esophagus.  Just imagine the untold pleasure as your engorged ManTool[tm]
rasps repeatedly over the vocal chords

NOSTRILLATIO -
case@diku.dk:
Close one of your nostrils with a finger, and poke a bit around your partners
slit with your nose, mumbling words of affection. Then place your open nostril
over her clit and violently snort it up, and get headbanging. The girl will
experience the wildest orgasms, and you might even be rewarded with a wet one in
the mouth. It is said to enhance her pleasure if you have caught a cold.
Works best with long clitorises. Half an inch is generally regarded
as minimum in the buisness, but a fully erect one incher is fabulous.

NUBBING -
jennyg@titan.ucc.umass.edu (Jenny Gutbezahl):
Unlike squicking, nubbing does not require a ManTool (tm).  Rather the nubber
lines up their anus with the vagina of the nubbee, and lets loose a turd, hope-
fully a nice solid Lincoln Log of a turd, as one of those LiquiShits (tm)
really won't serve much purpose here.

It's called "nubbing" because of the small brown nub that peeks thru the lips
when you are done.

rorschak@daimi.aau.dk (Jesper Lauridsen):
When the essential nubbing is done one could add to the pleasure by letting
the (male) nubber turn around and insert his ManTool (TM) into the nubbee
for a turn of the good old in-out. This will ensure that the log's position
is further secured. Bonus points are given if nubbee is pregnant.
And you wonder why there are so many shitheads born these days?

When this gets to boring nubber could eat nubbee out (looks really nice
if nubbee is having her period). Ahh, the possibilities are countless.

NUMB-FUCK -
blu@cellar.org (Dan Reed):
Take a tube of Anbesol (Mouth medicine, for those painful canker
sores, and tooth aches, it has a numbing effect), and get the type
that comes in a small sqeezeable tube.  Cut off the end of the tube as
your supposed to do, now stick the tube in the end of your dick, and
squeeze the tube!  Fuck, blow you load, preferably in a females mouth
OR vaginal area, and let HER find out what you have done.  Great for
both partners.

PEARL NECKLACES -
smmcafee@pace5.cts.mtu.edu:
The Pearl Necklace -- This is when the gal is sucking off the guy, and just
prior to ejaculation, the guy removes his member from his partner's maw
and decorates her neck with multiple globules of jism.

agbrooks@teaching.cs.adelaide.edu.au adds:
This is generally the result of a tit fuck, rather than a blowjob.

jacob@alliant.com (Lou Jacob) adds to that:
I prefer to give a Pearl Monacle whenever possible...

PIPEFITTING -
meb2@cec2.wustl.edu:
If you like that, apparently there are some sex-jaded men who stretch
the opening of their penises to accomodate another man's penis. I think it
would be just as easy to come up with a male-male penis connector.

nevyn@nacjack.gen.nz (Nevyn) [Hamlet is a male Great Dane dog]:
        O.K.,  doesn't leave much huh?  Well,  here is the theory, and
practice.  The shaft of Hamlet's dick is almost the same diameter as my
dick.  But the opening of his sheath can stretch further than that,  as
sometimes, before his knot is fully swollen it can pass through the
opening. (though not when it is fully engorged).   Therefore, in theory,
my dick can pass through the opening, and I could screw his sheath.

        In practise,  it wasn't quite that easy.  Having just mounted me,
his dick shrank back to it's un-aroused state, and retreated into it's
sheath.  How to get my dick in there after it?  After a few trial and
errors,  Hamlet lay on his back, with me sitting on his chest.  If you
can imagine trying to put a condom on while you are wearing boxing gloves,
I think you may come close to the trouble I had trying to pull the
opening of his sheath over the end of my dick.  God, it was frustrating!!
However,  perversion wins, as it always must in the end,  and patience is
rewarded.  I probably can't describe the actual mechanics very well,  but
here goes:-  grasping Hamlets sheath with one hand, I managed to bunch
the tip of my foreskin with the other hand, and sort of stuff it into the
opening.  Then it was quite a simple matter of pulling his sheath over my
dick, while allowing it to pull my foreskin back.  I was IN!   It
surprised me so,  that I just sat back for a bit and looked.  Hamlet seemed
quite happy,  I mean there was enough room in there for my dick,   and his,
without forcing.  Then I simply rubbed my dick through his sheath.

        I came quite quickly, and was pleased to see that his sheath
sealed around my dick, so none seeped out, until I pulled out later.
Hamlet was happy to clean up the semen that was seeping from his
sheath.

pony@stable.internet.org:
Some years ago I 'experimented' with screwing horses sheaths. Since horses
are harder to roll over than dogs I tried bending myself over backwards
underneath the geldings. It did work, and felt quite interesting with
the added warmth and the feeling of soft fur under my hands as I stroked
myself through the horses sheath. But I generally found that the horses
that were large enough for me to bend back underneath were too large for
me to effectively stroke myself inside. Also, most horses have quite a
lot of fat lining their sheaths which made things feel 'vague'. After a
few months of experimenting I gave up on it.

wolf@netcom.com:
Now that's odd.  I've tried screwing horses' sheaths, and I really like it.
The first time I did it, I had jacked this horse off, and he had squirted
a little on my dick.  I figured, if he can make me messy, I'll do the same
to him.  By the time I decided to give it a try, he had retracted, so I
just sort of followed it on inside.  I too enjoy the warmth and fur, but
I guess I enjoy the feel of the inside of a horse's sheath quite a bit more.

PUPPY LOVE -
9125113g@lux.latrobe.edu.au:
Something I've been meaning to try:  Take a small art knife, and a puppy
(This stunt, BTW, is called "puppy love").  Tie the puppy down to the
bench.  Use the knife to incise a large "X" in the flesh of it's
backside.  Then whip out your ManTool [tm] and root the poor screaming
puppy to pieces.

I can imagine the blood and screaming would be quite a turn-on...

RUSHING -
smmcafee@mtu.edu (Sean McAfee):
Several weeks ago, I tuned in to Rush Limbaugh to find him just finishing up
a report about a guy who could only become sexually aroused by "passing
Barbie heads".  Not sure, but I think something on the order of 27 doll heads
were removed from his digestive tract at the local hospital.