AOH :: BEAVER.TXT|
How to skin a beaver! (Crotch shaving)
*** The Fine Art Of Crotch SHAVING ***
*** How To Skin A Beaver ***
Pig Pen and all that like to PLAY!
1 Beaver 4 Beaver Towels
1 Set/Thumb Cuffs 1 Bath Tub
1 Fine Razor 1 Body Lotion
1 Beaver Shave 1 Bubbly Bubble
1 Fragrance Soap 1 Floor/Table
1 Bottle of Booze
Put beaver in the bathtub filled with Bubbly Bubble's. Set thumb cuffs
aside for right now. With fragrance soap of your choice, move your
hands in a gentle but firm circular motion while you cover every inch
of the beaver. To ensure a clean happy beaver, make sure you cover all
sensitive areas at least twice. The motions you use will change during
the second time around. Now be CAREFUL, The BEAVER should be
completely relaxed by NOW!
Using just your finger tips, lather and proceede to the chest. Long
light strokes will make every part of the chest rise to ATTENTION, with
wicked readiness. Moving quickly to the next area, the belly, using
only the palms, caress every curve with hard, even strokes.
Turn beaver, with some hard strokes. Starting from the shoulders, move
without lifting palms, to the top of the BUTTOCKS. Do this until both
sides have been caressed.
For the legs and inner thighs, use whole hand with long soft gentle
movement. This motion usually makes the body tingle with passions of
lust and readiness. You must continue quickly to the ass and of course
the main menu. WARNING: You must be cautious around the ass as not to
let the beaver loose the feeling of readiness. With one hand, rub the
ass in a circular motion, 'SLOWLY' incerting a finger in the BACKDOOR.
<WARNING II! Only if your beaver likes this kind of foreplay, should
this be attempted>. Note, with other hand spread those wet and waiting
pussy lips and massage that clit in a loving motion. This makes the
beaver take the finger with ease because she is wet and ready. Move in
both areas in an in/out motion. The main menu should be done quickly
as not to cloud the water with her milky fluids. Rubbing hard, lather
up the beaver. Remove beaver from tub and place on floor or table.
Put thumb cuffs on and attach ends to a stable object, so the little
beaver can not change her mind. Raise the legs so knees are slightly
bent for comfort. Taking the razor in one hand and with the other hand
grab hold of the foamy pussy lips, and with one sweep, remove the pelt
in this area first. Make sure beaver shaving cream has been applied
thick so you meet little resistance from those little old pubic hairs.
Once the beaver is as bald as a new born babe, use the beaver towels to
pat dry and to remove all excess Beaver CREAM. To test for
satisfaction, rub with fingertips or a much more tender organ such as a
tongue, hard cock etc.... If you're not happy, repeat it over again.
And if you like, go all the way back to the begining. If you're
satisfied of the results, rub area with your favorite kind of lotion,
i.e. Motion Lotion, Whipped Cream, Wild Turkey, Exploding Rock Candy,
Sloe Gin, etc.... And settle back for some nice smooth pussy eating!
And remember, you don't have to take the whole pelt.... Designs can be
Disrobe so your clothes don't get wet! Procedure must be done
at least once a week to prevent whisker burns!!
ICEE ala Pussy!
> Honey Hog <
Pussy On Ice
How To Make an Icee!
] Materials [ ] Needed: [
2 Hot Bodies 1 Sheet/Mat 1 Large
working 1 Bowl of
area ice cubes 1 5th of
Booze ? Toys
Disrobe, doing it yourself, doing each other, or waiting while one
does it. Cover large play area with sheets or a mat to avoid a wet
sticky mess where it shouldn't be. Have your choice of Booze set aside,
you'll need this to keep the inner body warm.
Foreplay is first on the schedule here, after all we got to get hot
and wet in order to achieve the purpose of using the CUBES. I have
a list of some of my play toys and most can be purchased right in your
favorite grocery store: Hot Oils - Body Paints - Bannana's - Love
Beads - Flavored Jels - Vibrators - Whipped Cream - Cherries -
Strawberries - Body Glitter...... These are just a few items that you
can use to play around and satisfy one another. BUT, remember while
playing around, don't let the male member get too excited and BLOW the
lid on your plans for the BIG FREEZE ladies! But get him heated up
enough that he is ready to beg you to get him off and then we will have
some fun! We ladies have no problem cuming and cuming so give yourself
a treat and get your rocks off a couple times.
Once you're ready for that HOT piece of meat, have him insert 4 ice
cubes <But keep in mind, stores now sell the round ones that are the
safest and no need for you to worry about cutting his cock off, or you
getting a hole where you don't need one> to cool down and contract the
inner walls of your love tunnel. Insert the male organ, flute, dick,
rod, cock, prick or whatever you call your partners magic wand, before
the ice cubes melt. Ram that sucker to the hilt and move your ass like
you were afraid for your life. Believe me when I tell you that you
women are going to get sore between the legs because your male partner
is going to be pumping like hell to come but the cold cubes and your
hot twat is going to prevent this. If you're so hot that you feel the
cubes are gone, have your partner withdraw for a short second and
insert 4 more ice cubes. And stand by for the orgasm(s) of your life.
Yes, he's gonna be pumping and pumping and you have him, should we say,
frozen-up. It will unnecessary to replace any of the ice cubes for the
third time (unless you are really in the need of cuming 6 to 10 times
and or you just want to sweat and make him really do both of you in),
because you are really ready to induce him to CUM and you need the heat
of his juices.
Hell, I'm getting WET just typing this stuff!!!! Hey Pig Pen, come
over hereand get on your knees and pray to my beaver while I finish
Ohhhhhhh...... Yes, Hmmm, That's it, ok folks, when you both have
completelyexpelled all orgasmic juices, just lay there and hug on to
one another and just smell the air around. Damn, they should sell that
fragrance in aerosol form as a mood setter..... and dream of your NEXT
That's all for now (not you Pig Pen, you just keep nibbling on that
clit there!) and let me know what you would like to hear next!
Cum again......Honey <Wet As Water> Hog or HH
Honey Hog and Pig Pen...... Sexual Question's, Answer's and Comments!
The Following Test will help you clear up the status of your sex
drive. Choose what seems to be the appropriate answer:
1. If I had to select one of the following books to read in bed at
would pick: A) U.N. Orgy B) The History Of Lint C) I Married My
2. Faced with a choice of an evening out, I would want to go to:
A) Watch a nude mud wrestling match. B) The Library to hear a
lecture on beet farming. C) A Perverts' rodeo.
3. Complete the sentence. "I get horny....
A) About three times a week." B) About three times a decade."' C) As
soon as I open my eyes in the morning."
4. What would your first reaction be if someone said to you, "Fish
Orgasms?" A) Thank god I'm not a fish. B) I wonder if I am a fish?
C) That's because fish have never met me.
5. If I felt someone brushing intimately against me on a crowded
first reaction would be to: A) First make sure they weren't ugly,
then brush back. B) Rearrange their face with my elbow. C) Beg for
a cavity search.
6. For me, the most pleasant thing about sex is:
A) The quiet delirium of a good multiple orgasm. B) When it's
finally over. C) Putting unguent on the whip marks.
Rate your answers:
Question #1 (also 2,3,4,5, and 6): If you answered 'A' then you haven't
lost it; you have a healthy sex drive. If you answered 'B' then you
have lost it; you have no sex drive. If you answered 'C' you not only
have your own healthy sex drive, you have the sex drive lost by the guy
who answered 'B'.
10 GREAT STEAMY
Steamy sex games are wonderful in their own right, but what makes them
even more wonderful is being able to make up your own rules as you go
along. Below are 10 great steamy sex games you can make even better by
making up rules that are particularly well suited for you and your sex
partner. I won't try to inhibit you by describing these games. That's
why you have an imagination.
SEE WHAT YOU CAN MAKE OF 10 STEAMY SEX GAMES LIKE:
1... Upside-down Rodeo
2... Quick, Veronica, My Whip
3... The Acrobat and the Chain Gang
4... Strangers in the Dark
5... Oh, Officer
6... Would You Mind if My Girlfriend Slept Over Tonight?
7... Bigger, Harder, Hotter
8... Undress Me With Your Teeth
9... No, Bogey, No!
10.. Really Slow Orgasm
***> FIVE NEW WAYS TO USE YOUR TONGUE <***
One complaint that people have about sex is that it can get boring.
Same old fetishes, same old kinky sex games, same old cheap thrills. I
mean, when you been through the basic 483 basic positions, what's
'Oh sure,' you say, 'I know all about french kissing and that stuff.
What elsecould there be?'
PLENTY. Take, for example, the Five New Ways to Use Your Tongue......
The five new ways to use your tongue were culled from many thousands of
suggestions contributed by orally fixated people from this very
system. Some of them were colorful, some of them were impractical,
some of them were downright impossible. Nonetheless, they were all
field tested (and I have the grass stains to prove it) and the best of
the bunch are presented here.....
Try any of these, and I guarantee that your sex life will take on a new
1. Using your tongue to coat your partner's body with Bosco (Chocolate
2. Putting a little shoe on your tongue, then tap dancing your way into
3. Pretending your tongue is a bobsled and that your partner is a
4. Pretending your tongue is a pearl diver and that your partner is an
5. Using your tongue to tie a square knot somewhere on your partner's
** The Fun and Games Department **
**** LUBE JOB ****
Or ** Oil Up Sex **
What's so sexy about a hot oil massage? Picture two shiny, slippery
bodies rubbing and sliding together in erotic ecstay. Imagine the
tactile titillation of running your hands over each sensuous cruve of
your lady's lusty body, fingers gliding over her buttery breast and
down into her slick, steamy slit! Sounds pretty good, right? Well it
FEELS even better. Nothing lubricates the libido like a little hot,
Bawdy body oil can add a kinky twist to copulation, as it creates
sensual stimulation all its own. It's not just the turn-on of
touching wet, glistening skin of your partner with your hand, but the
rubbing body against body as you slip and slide your way to orgasm.
In fact, the use of oil can lead to some truly inventive forms of
foreplay. One of my girlfriend's favorites is to clamp her legs
around my lubricated thigh and then use it to scratch that itch in her
clit. And I've often cum by sliding my prick back and forth across her
lubed-up pussy lips or humping her oil-soaked abdomen.
While lusty lubricants may feel good, there's no hiding the fact
they're messy. So, if you and your chick want to smear yourselfs
with oil, and ball your brains out, you're not going to want to do it
in the bedroom. Unless, that is, you either have rubber sheets handy,
or you can talk your girlfriend into doing it at HER place!
No, the best locale for a lube job is in the bathtub, where you
don't have to worry about getting oil all over everything.
(Although you do have to worry about slipping when you try to stand up
or step out onto the tile floor.)
In the tub, you can get messy and as sloppy and as slithery as you
want. You can pour bottles of oil all over your chick - or she can
pour it on herself while you spread it over every naughty nook and
cranny of her body. You can pour a pool of it in the bottom of the tub
and just splash it on yourselves. Or, if you really want to get kinky,
you can cover yourselves in oil and then fill the tub with luke warm
water - and since the oil won't wash off without soap, you can slither
around like a couple of over-sexed eels!
On the other hand, if instead of being wild and wanton, your lusts
are more sensual and subdued, you may prefer to lubricate only a
selected few bawdy body parts.
For instance, there certainly is nothing like having your girlfriend
<wife> grease up her palms and give your dick a good rub down. And
don't think your chick doesn't feel the same about getting a hot,
slippery handjob from you!
Just remember that with oil, you don't have to dive right in and
give her an instant orgasm. Tease her first by lubricating and
massaging her breast. Then, turn her over and apply some oil to her
inner thighs, slowly sliding your hands up to where they teasingly
brush against her pussy and then down again. Tantalize her. Titillate
her. And when she can't take it any longer, satisfy her with your
As I mentioned before, another fun way to ball your partner is to
drench both her pussy and your prick in oil, and then fuck her
clit. And if you want to give her a show, just place her on her back
and lift her hips so that your cock is directed towards her face when
you thrust forward. Then when you cum, your chick can lay back and
watch the jism shoot out onto her belly.
Oh, and if you try this and find that even when oiled, your
girlfriend's (wife) pubic hair is so coarse that you feel like
you're fucking steel wool, all you have to do is get out the razor and
shave it off. Of course, you don't have to remove 'ALL' the pubic
hair, but that IS a thought!
So, whether you're looking for a way to add a bit of kick to your
carnality, or you just want to 'BUTTER UP' your old lady, remember:
lubricate and fornicate! It may not be the kind of advise you'd get
from Dr Ruth, but believe me, it's worth its weight in Penzoil!
Remember: ADD A QUART OF OIL FOR SLICK, SENSUOUS SEXPLAY!
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