~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Alt.Sex.Services Thailand FAQ
A primer on what is happening in the City of Angels.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Version 1.2  March 1995


Revision History:


Version 1.0a  Posted January 24, 1995
     First attempt
Version 1.1   Posted January 30, 1995
     Fixed typos!
     Expanded General Bangkok section
     Expanded Money section
     Expanded Thermae description
     Expanded Nana Plaza description
     Expanded Patpong description
     Added subsction on escort agencies
     Added subsection on Soi 33
     Added subsection on discos
     Added hotel listing
     Added gay bar listings
     Divided into three parts due to the length
Version 1.2   Posted March 1, 1995 to alt.sex.services and
alt.sex.brothels
     Added info on blow job bars to Patpong
     Added tips for saving money at your hotel
     Added section on short time hotels
     Expanded the description of bars on Soi Cowboy
     Added section on how to behave (after several requests to do so)
     Clarified massage parlor pricing
     Added section on "lady houses"
     Added information of interest to Japanese readers


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

People ask, what is the deal in Bangkok, Thailand?  What
services are offered and how much do they cost?

This FAQ was developed to help answer those questions, and
recognizes that probably less than 1 in 1,000 readers of this
FAQ will ever visit Thailand.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Contents:

 1  General Thailand and Bangkok Info
    -- Getting around
    -- AIDS
    -- Money
    -- Guidebook recommendation
    -- Hotel list
    -- How to behave [This is really important!]

 2  Bangkok
    -- Patpong
       *  Sex Shows
       *  Falling in love
       *  Blow Job Bars
    -- Soi Cowboy
    -- Nana Plaza
    -- Soi 33 -- Famous artists!
    -- Grace Hotel
    -- Thermae
    -- Massage
    -- Discos
    -- Escort agencies
    -- Short time hotels
    -- Lady houses
    -- Japanese Clubs
    -- Gay Bars Listing


 3  Pattaya

 4  Phuket

 5  Northern provinces

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
SECTION 1 -- GENERAL INFORMATION
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
PART 1 -- GETTING AROUND

The grid below will help you get an idea as to where things are
located in Bangkok.

The city center is basically located at grid 4B.  I have marked
it with an "X"

Sukhumvit road begins at Grid 5E and runs diagonally down to
Grid 6G.  The Soi numbers increase as you move away from the
city center. Z marks the spot where Soi Cowboy is located.

Patpong is located just about at the intersection where Grid 5
C+D meet Grid 6 C+D.  Look for the letter P.

The airport is way out at well beyond 1D.  Look for the letter "W".


 :  A :  B :  C :  D :  E :  F :  G :  H :  I :  J :
------------------------------------------------------
1:    :    :    :   W:    :    :    :    :    :    :
------------------------------------------------------
2:    :    :    :    :    :    :    :    :    :    :
------------------------------------------------------
3:    :    :    :    :    :    :    :    :    :    :
------------------------------------------------------
4:    :  X :    :    :    :    :    :    :    :    :
------------------------------------------------------
5:    :    :    :    :   Z:    :    :    :    :    :
----------------P-------------------------------------
6:    :    :    :    :    :    :    :    :    :    :
------------------------------------------------------
7:    :    :    :    :    :    :    :    :    :    :
------------------------------------------------------

Traffic is as bad as everyone says.  Might even be worse.

If you stay at a hotel along Sukhumvit, you can easily walk
between Soi Cowboy and Nana and the Grace Hotel.  It is a bit
too far to comfortably walk from Sukhumvit to Patpong.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
PART 2 -- AIDS

AIDS is real, and if you are not smart about it, you are both
stupid and dangerous.  Stupid to yourself and dangerous to
others.

Please, please, please, practice safe sex.

If you go to a massage parlor, they WILL require the use of a
condom.  Most of the girls who work the clubs also require
them.  You have to have second thoughts about anyone who
doesn't.

While on the subject, there is a great restaurant and bar
called Cabbages and Condoms.  It is off Sukhumvit Soi 12.  It
has a condom motif, and instead of after-dinner mints they
offer after-dinner condoms.  If you've ever been slightly
embarrassed by openly discussing condoms, this place will cure
your embarrassment.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
PART 3 -- MONEY

The unit of currency is the baht.  The exchange rate hasn't
changed too much in the past 20 years.  You'll get between 24
and 26 baht to the dollar.  Think of the baht as being worth 4
US cents.  Twenty-five baht to the dollar.  A five-baht note is
worth 20 cents.  A 10 baht note is worth 40 cents.  A 20 baht
note is worth 80 cents.  A 100 baht note is worth $4 and a 500
baht note is worth $20.  Don't worry about figuring out your
currency exchange to the fourth decimal point.  Also keep that in
mind when fighting with a taxi driver over the fare.  The
difference between a 40 baht fare and a 50 baht fare is 40
cents.  Relax.  Enjoy.

At virtually every bar, you will be given the opportunity to "run
a tab."  Order your drink, and the waitress or bartender will
put a slip of paper in a glass, mug, cup, or something that
sits in front of you.  Some places will give you an additional
drink slip for every drink, most just keep adding to the total.

If you are smart, you will periodically take a peek and see
where you stand.  This can eliminate unpleasant surprises
later on.  I usually look right after my first drink.  Then I know
what my drinks are costing.  If I buy a drink for a sweet young
lady, I check as soon as they put the slip for that drink in my
cup.  Now I know how much the lady drinks are.  Now mind you,
we are talking about relatively small amounts of money here.
Is a beer 30 baht or 35 baht? Is a girl's drink 45 baht or 55
baht?  I have never been shocked by an outrageous drink price,
so it is not like the "B" joints in the US, where you can sip
on a $2 beer, offer a lady a drink, and end up paying $10 for
some watered-down tea that she downs in a single swallow.  I
have never run into a "bottle" scam in a Bangkok bar either.

The exception to all of this can be at the sex shows upstairs
in the patpong clubs.  There, check your bill after every
drink.  More on that in the Patpong section.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
PART 4 -- GUIDEBOOKS

The best guidebook, in my opinion, is Bangkok Handbook, by
Michael Buckley, Moon Publications.  It was first published in
January 1992, and even if you cannot find a later edition, it
is still worth buying.  It has an entire chapter on nightlife,
along with maps, and doesn't offer any patently wrong
information.  No, I don't make any money if you buy it!

There are other good books, Cityguide:Bangkok by Insight
comes to mind, as does Baedeker's Bangkok, but neither does as
good a job of openly discussing the true Bangkok nightlife.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
PART 5 -- HOTEL LIST

If you are disinclined to spend $10 to $20 on a guidebook, but don't
mind spending a small fortune on telephone and fax charges,
following is a list of hotels in The City of Angels that may or may
not come in handy.  I've found that travel agencies are good at
identifying the $225 a night busines hotel like the Hyatt or the
Sheraton, but not so good at finding the $40 a night hotels hidden
on the back sois.

Here is a good strategy for saving some money on hotels while
in Bangkok.  Go ahead and make your reservation whereever you
want.  The first morninggn you are there, walk around and if
you see a hotel you like, walk in, ask to see a room, and ask
them what the rate is if you check in withing an hour.  You may
find them offering you a 50% discount!  Don't check in, tell
them you will be right back, and go to your hotel and tell them
you are checking out.  If you mention that you are getting a
killer deal somewhere else, they may offer you a discount to
stay. If they offer you a deal, you may want to stay, if not,
leave and go to the other hotel.  In any event, you will have
saved some money on your lodging, which you can then use at
night!

The list was reasonably current when last updated in February,
1994 -- but things change, so don't flame me if a phone number
or hotel name has changed.

Can't find a hotel?  Try adding or subtracting the words "New"
or "Royal" from the name.

The letters (GH) stand for guest house.

Hotel              Phone         Address or Approximate Area

Airport            566-1020      333 Chertwudthakas, Rd.,
                                   Donmuang
Airport Bangkok    522-8921      88/117 Viphavadee, Rangsit
Amar Inn           235-7182      1450 Soi Shangri-La Hotel,
                                   New Road
Amari Airport      566-1020/1    Near Airport
Ambassador         254-0444,     8 Soi 11, Sukhumvit Rd.
                   255-0444
Aquarius           286-0217      234 Soi Hatayana, Suanplu Rd.
Ariston            259-0960-71   Sukhumvit, Soi 24
Asia               215-0813-7    296 Phyathai Rd.
Asoke Place        258-3733,     4/49 Soi Asoke (21), Sukhumvit
                   258-3742
Baiyoke Suite      253-0362-8    Baiyoke Tower
Bangkok Centre     238-4848-57   Rama 4
Bangkok Inn        254-4834-7    Sukhumvit, Soi 11
Bangkok Palace     253-0500-25   1091/366 New Pechburi Rd.
BKK Christian (GH) 233-2206      Silom Rd.
Baron Hotel        246-0250      544 Soi Huaykwang,
                                   Ratchadapisek Rd.
Bourbon St.        259-0329      29/4 Soi 22, Sukhumvit
Boulevard          255-2930      Sukhumvit
Business Inn       254-7981-4    155/4-5 Soi 11, Sukhumvit
                   255-7155-8
Carlton Inn        258-0471-3
Centaur Inn        237-1405,     488-488/1 Surawongese Rd.
                   234-9408        Sipraya
Central Plaza      541-1234      1695 Paholyothin,
                                   1/2 way to airport
Century            245-1755      Near Pratunam market
China Town         266-1267-92   Chinatown??
City Inn           252-1552      Ploenchit/Phetchaburi/Siam Sq.
Classic Inn        255-3988/9    120/51-54 Rachapraprop Rd.,
                                 Pratunam, Phatathai
Classic Place      255-4444-9
Comfort Inn        251-9250,     153/11-4 Soi 11, Sukhumvit Rd.
                   251-0745
Comfort Promenade  253-4116,     18 Soi 8, Sukhumvit Rd.
                   253-2876
Continental        278-1596-8    971/16 Phaholyothin Rd,
                                 Near weekend market
CP Apartmentt      234-0991-3
Crown              258-0318-9    Sukhumvit, Soi 29
Crystal            277-8221,3    65 Soi Nathong,
                                 Ratchadapisek Rd, Huay Kwang
Dorchester         270-0904      Pratipat, Soi Kotoey
Dusit Thani        236-0450-9    Silom/Suriwong/New Road
Embassy            279-2641-1    Sapankwai
Eve House          233-0101      18-18/1 Surawongese Rd.
                                 Thaniya Corner
Federal            253-0175      Sukhumvit, Soi 11
First              255-0111-20   2 Petchburi Rd.
Florida            245-3221      43 Phyathai Rd, Siam square
Fortuna            251-5121-5    Sukhumvit, Soi 5
Golden Dragon      589-5148      Near airport
Golden Gate        251-5354      Sukhumvit, Soi 2
Grace              253-0671      12 Soi 3, Sukhumvit Rd.
Grand Hyatt Erawan 252-9100      Ploenchit/Phetchaburi/Siam Square
Grand Inn          253-3380,     217-8 Soi 3 Sukhumvit Rd.
                   254-9021-6
Hilton Int'l       253-0123      2 Wireless Rd., Nailert Park,
                                 Ploenchit
Holiday Inn        238-4300      Silom/Suriwong/New Road
Honey              253-0645-9    Sukhumvit, Soi 19
Impala             258-8612-6    9 Soi 24, Sukhumvit Rd.
Imperial           254-0111      6 Soi Ruamrudi, Ploenchit Rd.
In Town            253-5474-5    40/6-7 Soi 3, Sukhumvit Rd.
Indra regent       251-0111,     Rajprarop Rd.
                   252-0111
Jade Pavillion     259-4675-86
Jim's lodge        255-3100-3
Kabana Inn         233-4652,     1147/2-3 New Road, Bangrak
                   234-7470
Landmark           254-0404      138 Sukhumvit Rd.
Le Meridien        253-0444      135/25 Gaysorn Rd.
Liberty            280-1924      Pratipat Rd.
Madras Lodge       235-6761      92/1, 31/9-10 Silom Rd. Trok 13
Majestic Palace    281-5000      97 Rajadamnern, near UN offices
Malaysia           286-3582      Rama 4, Soi Ngam-Duplee
Mandarin           238-0230-59   Silom/Suriwong/New Road
Manhattan          255-0166,     12 Soi 15, Sukhumvit Rd.
                   255-0188
Manora             234-5070      412 Surawongse Rd.
Menam              289-1148-90   2074 New Road
Mermaid's Inn      211-8530,     447/2 Sathorn Tai Rd.
                   211-6017
Mermaid's Rest     253-5122-5    39 Soi 8, Sukhumvit Rd.
Metro              314-4741      New Petchburi, edge of BKK
Miami              253-5611      Sukhumvit, Soi 13
Middle East Sahara 252-5081,     21/22 Sukhumvit, Soi 3/1 Nana
                   252-8575
Mido               270-0447-8    222 Soi Santisaewee, Pradipat
Miramar            221-1711      Mahachai, at Chinatown
Monohra            271-0880-1    Suriwong Rd.
Montien            234-8060      54 Surawongse Rd.
Morakot            314-0761      New Petchburi, edge of BKK
Narai              233-3350      222 Silom Rd.
Narai Inn (GH)     258-0601      Sukhumvit, Soi 53
New Nana           252-0121      Sukhumvit, Soi 4
New Empire         234-6990      Chinatown
New Fuji           234-5364-6    299-30 Surawongese Rd.
New Peninsula      234-3910-7    Suriwong Rd.
New Trocadero      234-8920-9    Suriwong Rd.
Niagra             233-5783-4    26 Soi Silom 9, Silom Rd.
Novotel Bangkok    255-6888      Soi 6, Siam Square
Oriental           236-0400-20   Silom/Suriwong/New Road
Park               255-4301-7    Sukhumvit, Soi 7
Plaza              235-1760-79
PR Union           437-0420-38
Pradipat           278-1470-8    173/1 Pradipat Rd, Sapankwai
Prasuri (GH)       280-1428      85/1 Soi Prasuri, Dinsor Rd.,
                                   Rajdamnern Ave.
President Inn      255-4230-5    155/14-15 Soi 11, Sukhumvit Rd.
Prince             251-3318      1537/1 New Perchburi Rd.
Princess           281-3088      Democracy Monument
PR Union Inn       439-2311-30   296/1-9 Soi 10, Issaraphap Rd,
                                   Klongsarn
Quality Inn        253-5393      Sukhumvit, Soi 19
Quality Inn        253-7705      Sukhumvit, Soi 9
Rajah              255-0040-83   8 Soi 4, Sukhumvit Rd.
Rajah Palace       277-6331      234 Ratchadapisek Rd. Huaykwang
Rajsubhamitra (RS) 281-3644      Larn Luang, near UN
Rama Gardens       579-5400      9/9 Viphavadi-Rangsit Rd.
Ramada             234-8971-5    1169 Charoenkrung Rd.
Regent Bangkok     251-6127      155 Rajdamri Rd.
Regina             277-5581      1-9 Soonthronsiri, Ratchada-Pisek Rd.
                                   Huay Kwang
Reno               215-0106-7    Rama I, national stadium
Rex                259-0106-15   762/1 Sukhumvit Rd, Soi 32
River City (GH)    235-1429,     11/4 New Road, Soi 24.
                   235-1431
River View (GH)    234-5429,     768 Soi Panurangsee, Songwad Rd.
                   235-8501
Rose               233-7695-7    118 Suriwongse Rd.
Royal              224-1907
Royal Asia Lodge   251-5514-6    Sukhumvit, Soi 8
Royal Garden Home  253-5458-62   63/1-4 Soi 3 Sukhumvit, Rd.
Royal Hotel        222-9111-26   2 Rajdamnoen Rd.
Royal
 Orchid Sheraton   234-5599      2 Captain Bush Lane, Siphya Rd.
Royal Plaza        234-3091      Naret Rd.
Royal River        433-0300-19   Krung Thon Bridge
Ruamchit Mansion   254-0205-8    1-15 Soi 15, Sukhumvit
Ruamchit
 Travelodge        252-5081,     11/1 Soi 10, Sukhumvit
                   251-0284
Sathorn Inn        234-4110      37 Soi Suksavithaya, Silom Rd.
Shangri-La         236-7777      89 Soi Wat Suanplu, New Road
Siam               252-5081,     1777 New Pechburi Rd, (Soi Asoke)
                   252-5858
Siam City          247-0130
Siam
 InterContinental  253-0355-7    Ploenchit/Phetchaburi/Siam Square
Siam Orchard Inn   255-3140-3
Sri (GH)           381-1309,     No. 1 Soi 38, Sukhumvit Rd.
                   381-1662
Silom Plaza        236-0333      320 Silom Rd.
Stella Place       251-8255-8    120/359 Rachaprarop Rd. Phayathai.
Suriwong's         233-3223-5    Suriwong Rd.
Swan               233-8444      New Road
Swiss Inn          255-4522-3
Tara               259-2909-19   Sukhumvit
Tarntawan Place    238-2620-39   119/5-10 Surawongse Rd.
Tawanna Ramada     236-0361      80 Surawongse
Thai               282-2831-3    Prachatipat Rd.
Thavorn house      278-2121      17/33 Ruamsirimitr Soi 3,
                                  Vipavadi Rangsit Rd.
Tina Tower Inn     234-9409,     55/12-14 Soi Wat Suanplu, New Road.
                   235-8001
Tower Inn          237-8300-4    533 Silom Rd.
Trocadero          234-8920-9    343 Surawongse Rd.
Union Tower        314-1964-73
Victory            233-9060-9    322 Silom Rd.
Viengtai           282-8672-4    Tani Rd, near UN
Wall Street Inn    233-4164-7    37/20-24 Soi SurawongsePlaza,
                                  Surawongse Rd.
Wattana Flat       252-9697/8    19 Soi Wattana (19) Sukhumvit
Welcome Place      234-5402-4    30 Nares Rd. Bangrak
White Orchard      226-0026
Windsor            258-0160      Sukhumvit, Soi 20
Woodlands Inn      235-6640-1    1158/5-7 Soi GPO Charoen Krung
World              314-4340      New Petchburi, edge of BKK
YMCA Collins House 287-1900,     27 South Sathorn Rd.
                   287-2727
YMCA Hotel         286-2329      Silom/Sathorn Rd.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
PART 6 -- HOW TO BEHAVE

It is a shame that this FAQ needs to have a section with this title,
but the fact of the matter is that a lot of people simply have no
idea how to act when they encounter a place like Bangkok.

The author of this FAQ has been visiting the Kingdom of Thailand for
25 years, and has made a lot of mistakes, and been with friends who
have made a lot of mistakes.  Please, park your ego for a few
minutes and learn from the mistakes of others.  Doing so will help
let Bangkok remain the wonderful place that it is.

Rule # 1.   Laugh and bring toys.  If you can't laugh, don't go.
Bangkok
is a great place to have fun, and you have to be willing to laugh to
enjoy yourself.  Be prepared to laugh with the girls and to try and
make them laugh with you.  You will have a much better time if you
can do this.  It may sound stupid, but if you know coin tricks,
sleight of hand, card tricks, or anything similar, practice up
before you go, and you will have the time of your life.  I've seen
guys who can make a coin disappear surrounded by 15 or 20 half naked
bar girls as he made coins disappear and reappear is some very
unusual places.

My last trip, I bought some note pads that looked
like huge $100 and $500 bills.  Gave them to the bar girls and the
mamasans.  Lots of laughs.  One of the bar owners in Soi Cowboy
taped one of the large bills directly over the cash drawer.  Later
that night, when I fell in love and it came time to pay the bar
fine, the owner shook it off because I had made him laugh.  If
nothing else, bring a big bag of individually wrapped candies.  Toss
a handful on the stage and watch the reaction.

Rule #2.   Make love, not war.  Bangkok is a great place to get
blasted.  The girls, the music, the girls, the beer, and the girls all
add up to a very intoxicating environment.  BUT, if you are a mean
drunk, or like to fight when you get drunk, do us all a favor and
stay home.  Go to Bangkok to have a great time, not to have a great
fight.

Rule #3.   Don't be a cheapskate.  No, you don't have to act like an
oil
worker with money to blow, but keep things in perspective.  Bargain
away, but don't insult a bar girl by offering her 100 baht for all
night, or by never buying a girl a drink.

Rule #4.   Be nice to the girls.  For the most part, these are just
simple
country girls trying to make some money for their families up
country.   One of the great things about the Thai women is the fact
that they are warm and friendly.  They are not whores in the
American or European sense of the word, so don't treat them like
whores.  Treat them like a girlfriend. Treat them with respect. They
deserve it.  Don't spend half the night in the bar buying one girl
drinks and they try and take a different girl home.  You have just
terribly insulted the first girl in the process.  If you go in the
club and buy a drink for girl "A", and fall in love with girl "B",
leave the club for a little while and then come back and buy a drink
for girl "B".  This way girl "A" saves "face" and you avoid a scene
(not a scene in front of you, but a scene in the back room betweek
the girls and the mamasan).

I was in a small bar early one evening and there was a terrible
commotion in the back room.  Seems a guy had come in every night for
a week and bought drinks and paid the barfine for this one girl.
Then, out of the blue, he walks in and pays for a different girl to
accompany him to the beach for a week.  The first girl was trying to
slash her wrists, not out of love, but out of shame because all of
the other girls thought she must have treated the guy "number 10" to
make him choose someone else like that.  She had done nothing wrong,
it was simply a case of raging hormones on the guy's part.

Rule #5.   Don't be an ugly American (or German or Aussie, etc.)
Certainly, we all like to wave our respective flag.  Just don't be a
jerk about it.  If you take a moment, you might just find that the
German, Aussie, Brit or Yank on the next bar stool is basically just
a horny dude like yourself, and if you buy each other a few beers
you might find you've got a lot in common.  Over the years I have
gained many "best friends for life" whose names I never learned and
who language I couldn't speak.  We all share a common love for Thai
women.

Rule #6.   Respect the few taboos.  Never touch a Thai on the head.
Never point your feet at a Thai. Avoid public displays of
affection.  Yes, I know she was hanging all over you in the bar, but
that was in the bar.  When you are walking down the street, keep
your hands to yourself.
Vietnam Veteran
AC-130E Spectre Gunships
16th Special Operations Squadron (USAF)
"We were winning when I left."