AOH :: ASEXFAQ1.TXT|
Frequently Asked Questions on alt.sex Part 1
Archive Name alt-sex/FAQ/Part1
Last Modifies 3 Sept. 1992
Catagory 1, ALT.SEX Acronyms and Terms
Catagory 2, Where Can I find ?
c2.1 What versions of the Purity Test are there?
c2.2 Where can I get the Purity Test?
c2.3 Where can I find ALT.SEX stories? Are there any archive sites for them?
c2.4 Where can I find GIF pictures?
c2.5 What are good books to read up on?
c2.6 What stores sell sex toys, etc. ?
c2.7 Where can I find the archives for alt.sex.bondage and alt.sex.stories?
c2.8 Where can I find the Index to USENET erotica?
c2.9 Where can I order from via catalog?
Catagory 3, General Stuff
c3.1 What should I do to make (the first attempt at) vaginal sex easiest?
c3.2 What should I do to make (the first attempt at) oral sex easiest?
c3.3 What should I do to make (the first attempt at) anal sex easiest?
c3.4 How do I give the perfect handjob?
c3.5 What is circumcision and why is it done?
c3-6 What is the Venus butterfly?
c3-7 What are the contents of semen?
c3-8 How much semen and how many sperm are in a single ejaculate?
c3-9 Does what I eat affect the taste of semen/vaginal fluids?
c3-10 What is and where is the G-Spot?
c3-11 How can females ejaculate?
c3-12 What about oral/vaginal sex during a woman's period?
c3-13 What percent of men and women masturbate? and at what frequency?
c3-14 How are the bases defined again? (ie. 1st base = kissing, etc.)
c3-15 What's the average length and width penis?
c3-16 What can one do about premature ejaculation?
c3-17 Is it possible for men to be multi-orgasmic?
c3-18 What are some good positions to try out?
c3-19 What is the M-spot?
c3-20 What are Kegel exercises?/How can one increase the force of
c3-21 What are blue balls?
c3-22 Is spanish fly dangerous?
c3-23 Is it possible to get pregnant from anal sex?
c3-24 Should I buy a vibrator?
What kind of vibrators are there?
Do vibrators 'desensitize' women?
Can I be replaced by a vibrator?
Category 4. STDs
c4-1 How is the AIDS virus transmitted? and what does a HIV test show?
c4-2 What is HPV (human papilloma virus)? Treatment?
c4-3 The major sexually transmitted disease (STDs) and their symptoms
(Gonorrhea, Syphilis, Genital Herpes, AIDS, Pubic Lice (Crabs),
Nonspecific Urethritis (NSU), Hepatitis B are covered.)
Category 5. Contraception
c5-1 What are the various methods of contraception? and their
effectiveness rates? and their associated risks if any?
c5-2 What kinds of condoms are there?
Category 6. Myths
Appendix 1. List of contributors
Appendix 2. The Teachings of Kama Sutra
Category 1. ALT.SEX ACRONYMS AND TERMS
:),:-) - smiley, indicates humor or sarcasm (many variations exist)
69 - mutual oral sex
ASB - alt.sex.bondage
B&D - bondage and discipline (consensual)
BTW - by the way
D&S - Dominance and Submission
FAQ - frequently asked question
IMHO - in my humble/honest opinion
IMNSHO - in my not so humble opinion
LJBF - let's just be friends
MOTAS - member of the appropriate sex
MOTOS - member of the opposite sex
MOTSS - member of the same sex
P&T - Power & Trust
S&M,S/M - sadism and masochism, SexMagik (consensual)
SO - significant other
bestiality - sex with animals
blue balls - see question c3-20
cunnilingus - oral sex involving the vulva
dental dam - a piece of latex placed over the vulva during
cunnilingus to protect both partners from STDs.
fellatio - oral sex involving the penis
fisting - inserting a whole HAND into either the vagina or the
gerbiling - the activity of Urban Legend status regarding the
insertion of a gerbil or similarly-sized rodent into the
ObSex - Obligated Sexual Comment/Reference; inserted at the end
of some posts which otherwise have very little to do with
rimming - similar to cunnilingus but with the anus (the "rim" of
safeword - the code phrase or word used in any sort of B&D/S&M
activity that really means "Stop NOW."
water sports - sex involving urine or urination (also "scat", sex
Category 2. WHERE CAN I FIND...?
c2-1. What versions of the purity test are there?
70 --- Ronnie Geller Immorality Quiz
75 --- "For those with really low scores on the other versions"
100MF--- Allegedly the original MIT version; one test for guys, one for gals
100a --- Rice Version
100b --- Unknown origin; obtained via CMU
100c --- From a Penthouse column Sept 1989
100d --- Ricket's House Purity Test
100e --- Unknown origin; obtained vi Uga
100f --- Dabney House Purity Test (Cal Tech)
132 --- For those who got over 80% on the other versions
200 --- Condensation of the 500; obtained via JHU
225 --- Origin Unknown.
247 --- First CMU version
350 --- For those with ***REALLY*** low scores on the other versions
400a --- Second CMU version
400b --- Anti-Celibacy League Version
400c --- PSU version
425 --- Third CMU version
500 --- Yale/Dartmouth version
600 --- SUNY Potsdam/Clarkson version
1000 --- Pervert's Anonymous qualification form (Oregon State version)
BBS --- Modified 1000 designed for interactive taking on a BBS
c2-2. Where can I get the purity tests?
Anonymous FTP sites:
You may want to check out the ftp sites from the archie database at
DIRECTORY drwxr-xr-x 1024 Feb 27 03:20 purity
DIRECTORY drwxr-xr-x 512 Jan 19 00:09 purity
FILE -rw-r--r-- 50537 Mar 28 1989 purity
DIRECTORY drwxr-xr-x 512 Mar 17 16:17 test
If the archives do not have the version you are looking for or are
not available to you, then you may ask the following people, who
have volunteered their services in e-mailing out purity tests.
Please do not abuse their kindness. The above list of purity tests
is a composite, so not all distributors will necessarily have every
test. Ask around. (If you wish to be included in this list, mail me.)
When asking for purity tests, specify which versions. The tests will
be provided in ASCII format unless otherwise noted.
Purity test contacts:
2) email@example.com (Blair Seidler)
3) smithd@PROFESSOR.ENG.TULANE.EDU (David Smith)
(has test in both ASCII and MS Word formats)
4) firstname.lastname@example.org (Carl Boernecke)
5) email@example.com (Tim Hagman)
c2-3. Where can I find alt.sex stories? are there archive sites for them?
If you are just looking for stories in general, check the newsgroups
alt.sex.stories and rec.arts.erotica FIRST. Many stories
are also cross-posted to alt.sex.
As for story archives, well, there used to be a few. Unfortunately,
due to misuse by people, they are no longer around. In this section we
used to mention a couple but they both shut down for the same reasons:
irresponsible, immature, and greedy users over-used their services. When
people misuse a service offered to them that service generally shuts down.
Therefore, there are currently no known ftp sites for stories or
rec.arts.erotica. If any site ever dares to try to set up a ftp story
archive again people had better learn to respect the system that is
offering the archive and respect the wishes of the archive's maintainers.
There is a mail-server for alt.sex.bondage and alt.sex.stories
right now (see section c2-7), but that service won't last long
if it is misused. Don't try to get the whole archive in one night!
If the newsgroups or archives do not have what you are looking for
the following people have volunteered their services in e-mailing
out alt.sex stories that you may be looking for. Do not abuse
Alt.sex stories contacts:
1) firstname.lastname@example.org (Roy S. Rapoport)
2) email@example.com (Mari (Black Panther) Sepp)
If anyone else would like to offer their services whether
to e-mail stories or to set up an archive, tell me. That
way we can spread the load around a little.
c2-4. Where can I find GIF pictures?
The newsgroups of the alt.binaries.pictures.* (like a.b.p.erotica) are
your best bet for X and R-rated GIFs. For pictures more along the line
of swimsuit models, check out wuarchive.wustl.edu via anonymous FTP, in
graphics/gif. The images are arranged alphabetically. Don't
abuse the ftp service or it won't be here next month.
Also in alt.binaries.pictures.erotica are often jpgs and movies.
Read the alt.binaries.pictures.* FAQs for more info.
There is also a list of BBS' containing adult GIF files. The list is
posted to alt.bbs.lists and alt.sex periodically. There are several
hundred BBS' listed.
c2-5. What are good books to read up on?
"Man's Body: an owner's manual"
"Woman's Body: an owner's manual"
"More Joy of Sex"
Elf's (firstname.lastname@example.org) recommended reading list includes:
"The New Our Bodies, Ourselves."
The Boston Women's Health Book Collective, 1984.
I don't care what sex you are, male or female, BUY AND READ THIS
BOOK COVER TO COVER! If you feel it is necessary, ignore the feminist
attitudes taken in the political sections of the book and rely on the
technical details. Although it was written before the age of AIDS,
NorPlant, and RU-486, it contains information on every other method of
birth control, as well as articles on abortion, reproductive technology,
and sexually transmitted diseases. An utterly invaluable book to women
and people who love them.
"The Joy of Sex," by Alex Comfort
Although these two books have a few problems, they are excellent
introductory material for people who wish to try a few new things.
These books were written in the 1970's and it shows; homosexual and
bisexual issues are under the "Problem" header, for instance.
"Delicious Sex" by Gael Greene.
Since I rarely buy "mainstream" sex manuals any more, this one may be
just a typical example. But it does have fun and sexy examples.
"Sex for One," by Betty Dodson.
The best guide to masturbation ever written.
"Bi Any Other Name"
Is a useful book for people dealing with their own or a loved one's
"Coming to Power" by SAMOIS
Although primarily written for lesbians, "Coming to Power" is the
most practical guide to SM I have ever had the pleasure of reading.
First Aid, physical and emotional safety, personal testimonies, politics
(sigh), and a few hot stories to boot! Also useful from the same source,
"The Lesbian S/M Safety Manual," not for lesbians only.
"The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty,"
"Beauty's Release." By Anne Rice, the author of "The Vampire
Lestat" and "The Witching Hour," "The Erotic Adventures of Sleeping
Beauty," is a wonderfully hot and sexy fantasy for anyone willing to
spend a few sleepless hours. Excellent bathtime reading.
"Exit to Eden," also by Anne Rice. Another sexy SM story, this one
is set in modern-day New Orleans.
c2-6. What stores sell sex-toys, etc. ?
There are several different places to buy sex toys. The most common
is the typical "adult" bookstore, where dildoes, vibrators, and such
can be bought. Typically, though, these places are ugly, dirty, and
The most common place for people to buy sextoys are lingerie stores,
which usually have a shelf set up to sell vibrators, oils, body
flavorings and paint. (Recommendations- whipped cream and strawberry
jelly are better than anything you could buy in one of these places).
If you want a _real_ quality vibrator, buy a "body massager" at a
major department store, such as Service Merchandiser or Bests'.
With wall current you've got all the vibration you could ever need
and never worry about battery failure. Just remember to use
See c3-24 for more info on vibrators.
c2-7. Where can I find the archives for alt.sex.bondage & alt.sex.stories?
From: Richard Shetron email@example.com
My email file server is now up and running. This is a heavily modified version
of the decwrl package by Brian Reid.
The easiest way to get started is to read the rest of this section and then send
email to firstname.lastname@example.org with the word help as the first and only word
on the subject line.
I will stay about 1-2 weeks behind alt.sex.bondage and alt.sex.stories. These
are the only two alt.sex groups that I read and am archiving. I am archiving
both stories and articles that I believe to be of general interest to those
reading these two groups.
Anonymous ftp is not available to this machine and is NOT planned. If you have
any questions or problems with the server, send email to
email@example.com. If you have trouble getting email to that
address, try firstname.lastname@example.org. Anonymous contact via wizvax may be
sent to either wi.5203 or wi.4717)@wizvax.methuen.ma.us. DO NOT use
email@example.com for server requests. Requests sent to that
address may end up in the bit bucket.
Due to circumstances beyond my control, hardware and/or system crashes can
normally take several days to resolve. If email to the server or the other
contact addresses bounces, please wait at least one week before retrying. I
will try to post service interruption reports to alt.sex.bondage and
alt.sex.stories. I will also try to spread word on irc in #bondage.
Privacy/system logs: The server logs all incoming requests and all responses.
This information is retained for a few days before being deleted. I normally
check the logs at least once a day to try and find any server bugs/problems as
early as possible. I don't care who you are or where you are unless you are
extremely greedy in accessing the server.
Anonymous access: None currently, I am discussing this with wizvax.
c2-8 Where can I find the Index to USENET Erotica?
From: Ed Stauff (firstname.lastname@example.org)
The "Index of USENET Erotica", also known as the Official Alt.Sex.Story.Index,
is maintained by Ed Stauff (email@example.com) for his own amusement and as a
service to the Net. It is an index to stories posted to rec.arts.erotica,
alt.sex, and alt.sex.stories. It contains a fairly complete listing of
"vanilla" net.erotica; it does not include much S&M/B&D, bestiality or gay
material, due to Ed's own preferences. (This is not censorship; if you want
to index such material, please do so.) Each listing includes the title (not
a filename), author (if known), size, archive name from rec.arts.erotica (if
it has one), and a brief synopsis/review.
Now, listen closely: Ed is *NOT* an archive site! Requests for stories will
be ignored! Got that? He's not keen on mailing out copies of the Index,
either; his net access is limited and he can't handle dozens of request per
week. He posts it at irregular intervals to alt.sex and alt.sex.stories; watch
for it there.
c2-9 Where can I order from via catalog?
From: jik@pit-manager.MIT.EDU (Jonathan I. Kamens)
Here's a list of mail-order companies. The comments in parentheses
indicates what the company sells or other notes. Some of them might
not accept catalog orders over the phone, but they probably all will
Adam & Eve
1 Apple Court
P.O. Box 800
Carrboro, NC 27510-0800
(videos, toys, lingerie)
P.O. Box 77902
San Francisco, CA 94107-0902
(mostly other catalogs)
Leisure Time Products
P.O. Box 827
Gary, IN 46401-9900
(videos, toys, lingerie)
P.O. Box 8000
San Rafael, CA 94912-8000
P.O. Box 35445
Los Angeles, CA 90035
P.O. Box 3916
Milford, CT 06460
(video, toys, lingerie)
P.O. Box 3812
Milford, CT 06460
P.O. Box 35650
Los Angeles, CA 90035
(mostly videos, a small amount of toys, lingerie, etc.)
(probably the same company as "National 96")
P.O. Box 1550
Madison Square Station
New York, NY 10159
P.O. Box 35268
Los Angeles, CA 90035
(probably the same company as "Volume Video")
Category 3. GENERAL STUFF
c3-1. What should I do to make (the first attempt at) vaginal sex easiest?
FOR THE VIRGIN FEMALE:
1) Do it in a place where she feels safe, ideally in her own bedroom.
2) Do it at a secure time, when roommates won't come barging in, a
firedrill is unlikely, etc.
3) Simulate it in advance:
a. Go almost all the way.
b. Practice the thrusting motions of sex while fully clothed.
c. Have her give you a "hand job" so that she will know what
your body does when you have an orgasm.
d. Have a bright lights "show and tell" session, to allow you to
feel secure around each other's naked bodies.
4) Plan it, but don't talk about it being planned, on the actual day
that you do it.
5) Stretch the vagina out a lot with the fingers in advance. If she
feels comfortable with the idea, she can even do this herself when
you're not around.
6) Remember that it is her day--everything, within reason, should be
done how she wants.
7) Spend the day with her beforehand; do something fun but generic--
if you do something complicated, it will become "your" thing to do
together forever, due to the association, so make sure it's
something you can stand doing again on any potential anniversaries.
8) Have a special dinner before you "start."
a. Nothing that can possibly upset the stomach.
b. A moderate amount, even if you're nervous. You should both stay
a little hungry and not feel bloated.
9) Use plenty of lubricant. I recommend k-y jelly for the first few
times; after that you may want to consider a slightly less slippery
but spermicidal lubricant, several brands are available commercially.
10) Entry should be "missionary" style, this leaves the vagina as wide
open as possible. Some women find that placing a pillow under the
buttocks enhances this effect, others have said it doesn't matter.
11) If she can do it, she may be best off to do the actual entry herself,
but many women would rather not.
12) There's no point in getting it over with right away, since it will
only hurt the next time, but there is also no need to draw it out.
I'd say 10-30 minutes is a good range, but it is actually going to
vary a lot depending on the particular couple involved.
13) Take forever, if necessary, before putting it in. Only when the
woman is really ready should this be done. I'd recommend asking
verbally, and then interpreting that to see if she really means
14) Stay with her afterwards. Spend the night, at least. If possible,
take her to do something spontaneous the next day. Discuss what
happened if she wants to, many women won't want to until some later
15) Encourage her to talk to other women ahead of time to give her some
idea of what to expect. The unknown means fear, fear leads to
tension, tension leads to difficulty relaxing, and difficulty
relaxing leads to pain.
16) A useful technique, for guys who can do this, is to keep the
erection soft, at a sort of middling state, and then push the penis
in with a finger. Then slowly let it harden. This will produce a
stretching rather than a sudden opening of the vagina. If you can't
do this, then at least go in slowly and gently, "getting it over with
fast" is not likely to be better.
17) Be more or less "in love." This is something you can't just decide
to do, but it can help to wait until you love each other.
FOR THE VIRGIN MALE:
(from: Carole Ashmore)
OK. This is on the assumption that he's told you it's going to be his
first (some men tell you *afterward*) and that the two of you are
not first-timers fumbling together. In the both-first-timers
case I recommend strong egos, mutual respect and affection, and a
great sense of humor. Also theoretical knowledge *helps*. Read the
fucking manual. (Sorry I just couldn't resist the play on words.) I
recommend anything by Alex Comfort; THE JOY OF SEX and THE FACTS OF
LOVE are very good.
But on the assumption that he is a virgin and you are experienced:
1. There is a socially prevalent notion that men make love and women
are made love to, so an experienced woman with an inexperienced man
is going to be gritting her teeth enduring his fumbling ineptitude.
*Actively counter this notion.* Tell him the thought of his being
a virgin makes it a special and especially delightful encounter for
you. Tell him the thought of initiating him into the joys of
love-making is *very sexy for you*. Strongly convey the notion
that you expect to have a great sexual experience based on his
attractiveness, his enjoyment, and *your* skill. Make him believe
that he has no responsibility for 'making this work' and can just
2. Take the initiative physically. You kiss him, don't wait for him
to kiss you. You start undressing him. You make the move in the
direction of the bedroom. ETC. On the other hand, don't insist
on the initiative if he takes it eagerly -- be appreciative,
encourage it, but don't go limp and assume he'll take it from here.
3. Tell him you find at least one thing about his body particularly
attractive. Stay away from "You have beautiful eyes.", but almost
anything else will do: Tell him you love men with hairy chests,
or tell him he has a great ass, or tell him men with strong hands
particularly turn you on, or tell him you love the way he
smells, or tell him running your fingers through his hair is *so*
sensual, or . . . something *specific*, not just, "You've got a
great body." or "You're so sexy." After you tell him this, *show*
him -- run your fingers through his hair, enjoy grabbing the sexy
ass, etc. as appropriate.
4. Tell him you find at least one thing he does particularly
attractive -- again, it is the *specific* thing that is believed
and appreciated. "I love the way you kiss." or "Yes, touch me
exactly like that." beats the hell out of "You're a great lover."
5. He's going to be convinced he was either too fast or too slow --
the chances of simultaneous orgasm after whatever the culture has
led him to believe is the 'proper' amount of time are just about
nil. So be prepared ahead of time to convince him that this:
A. isn't a problem B. happens to just about everybody. For
'too fast' tell him the first time just takes the edge off and
he (not you) will have more time to enjoy the next session of
lovemaking -- and meanwhile he has this wonderful opportunity (of
*unspecified* length) to learn what pleases you while he's not so
distracted. Assure him that you consider 'not being too distracted
while learning' an *advantage* in lovemaking. For 'too slow' tell
him you *enjoy* prolonged lovemaking -- either it gives you a
chance for more than one orgasm or it gives you a chance to enjoy
the wonderful sensuality of post-orgasmic sex. If it's obvious
that it's too slow for him, that he's not going to make it if he
keeps at it for the next two hours, let him know that he gave
*you* a wonderful time and that everybody's nervous the first time,
he'll be more relaxed and ready to enjoy it in the morning.
6. Tell him you want to sleep with him again; don't assume he knows
it -- don't make him ask, you ask.
c3-2. What should I do to make (the first attempt at) oral sex easiest?
(See questions c3-4 and c3-9 for the related topics, hand jobs and the
From: firstname.lastname@example.org (Peter L. Hurd)
Date: Sat, 7 Mar 1992 05:46:19 GMT
So I asked the expert, she said:
1) really like the penis that you're sucking
2) don't let any air in through the back of the throat, big vacuum.
3) Horizontal strumming with the tongue across the base of the head on
the underside to get limp penises up
4) Use the top of the tongue to make friction on the head, pressing
it up against the roof of the mouth.
I'd add: watch the teeth & I know this isn't anything new or exciting,
it's really difficult to describe how to perform oral sex on a man, just
as it is very difficult to describe to someone how to tie shoelaces or
bowties. But for the good of the species, I think it's worth a try.
The best way to learn is to experiment and learn from feedback. Different
people like different things. There are some general comments that might
be worth making. At the least it will get someone to contradict me and
start a useful discussion.
Deep-throating apparently requires handling the gag reflex by swallowing
when it happens. In my opinion, it isn't that important. Complete
enclosure isn't the strong point of oral stimulation. If that is
important to you, try something else. She may be able to help by using
her hands on the part of the shaft she can't enclose. The advantage of
oral stimulation is the control and variety it provides, which are only
available with shallower penetration anyway.
I find that it helps if you are hungry when you do it. Never attempt going
down on a guy if you've eaten a big meal recently. Make sure that your
not thirsty when you start. For some reason thirst closes up the back of
Also, concentrate on breathing through your nose deeply while doing it.
(This is the only way I can hold off chocking on my toothbrush every
According to Linda Lovelace of "Deep Throat" fame, the most comfortable way
to give a blow job is if your throat is straight. In order to achieve
this, try laying on his chest.
She also suggests that you practice by sticking your fingers down your
throat and wiggling them around til you feel the gag reflex and then ease
off. Repeat until you've defeated the reflex, it'll take time she says.
First of all, recognize that women prefer gentler and more rhythmic
stimulation than men. An advantage of using the tongue instead of the
fingers is that it naturally produces about the right amount of pressure.
Stimulation inside the vagina needs to be firmer and also requires more
reach, so it is better handled with the fingers. If she is sensitive
internally, there is no reason to be a purist and insist on using only
your mouth. Trying to apply firm pressure or get too much reach with
my tongue is the only way I've ever had it get tired. Otherwise it seems
to be inexhaustible for hours.
The tongue and lips are obviously the source of most oral stimulation.
I have read descriptions of using the teeth for stimulation but I don't
recommend it. The tissues are very sensitive and one uncontrolled body
movement from her could cause a lot of pain and leave a scratch. This
can also occur with fingernails, so keep them short, with no rough
edges. The only use I've found for teeth during oral sex is pressing
their front surface through the cushion of the upper lip to apply firm
pressure to the buried root of the clitoris at the base of the pubic
bone. If she really wants hard pressure on the clitoris, you might try
using your teeth with your lips rolled inwards to cover the surfaces (a
technique borrowed from nipple stimulation).
The clitoris is your main area of concentration. Some women don't like
it to be stimulated directly because it is too sensitive. It also may
disappear under its hood at some stages of arousal and stopping to try
and locate it again disrupts the stimulation. In both these cases, the
hood and labia (lips) nearby should be stimulated to indirectly
stimulate the clitoris. The labia are sensitive themselves as well.
Trying to sutt rlsilan eev
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positions give the wrong angle for best access, though that might be due
to less experience with them. They definitely make it more difficult for
the female to stimulate the male well, since they place the sensitive
underside of the penis away from her tongue. It is usually better to
take turns giving and receiving anyway, just to avoid distraction.
There is a wide variety of types of stimulation that can be used. The
tongue can be used flat to broadly stroke areas or pointed to tease a
small area. Linear, circular or any other imaginable motions can be
used. The lips can apply suction, press something between them, or have
their wet and outward rolled inner surfaces used for broad strokes like
the tongue. The nose can provide some interesting stimulation when the
tongue is occupied lower down. Mustaches and beards can be used to
You can blow a narrow stream of cool air at a spot or breathe warm air
over an entire area (just don't try to inflate the vagina; it may be
dangerous). Experiment and find out what works best for you and your
partner. It may change at different times and levels of arousal. Light
teasing and varied stimulation are good for early arousal, but steady
rhythmic stimulation is best for bringing her to orgasm. You just haetlrhpns
c3-3. What should I do to make (the first attempt at) anal sex easiest?
Compiled, edited, and reorganized by email@example.com
with material from (firstname.lastname@example.org (Sharon Tsou), KAT,
clw5@po.CWRU.Edu (Christopher L. Wood), email@example.com
(Atomic Playboy), and firstname.lastname@example.org (Raymond Peck)
The key is to attempting anal sex is two-fold: stretching exercises and
relaxation. This is to accomplish two things:
1) to get your virgin ass used to something inside it, and
2) to get your ass used to something as large as your partner's cock.
Stretching exercises will give you a chance to learn the needed relaxation
for the first attempt. The faster you learn to relax the muscles involved,
the easier it will be. You can use either a dildo or fingers for the
USING A DILDO
These are available at just about every adult bookstore and many
mail-order places (see question c2-6). Once you get one, you should
just practice using it. You'll probably find it easier to at least use
some lubricant, at least on the first couple inches of it (more on this
later), as well as on your asshole, and a little inside your anus.
This is to make the penetration much easier. The actual penetration of
the head of the penis is probably the most difficult part, which is why
a dildo is more realistic, and you should most likely spend a fair
amount of time getting used to it. This can either be just inserting
it up to the head, then pulling it out and putting it in again, or
completely inserting it, and then removing it. You should do it enough
until you get to the point where you feel pretty comfortable with it.
(Well, as comfortable as it can be.).
There are two steps to practice insertion with the dildo. First, you want
to insert it the "normal" way, moving and rotating the dildo around to
find the most comfortable position for you. Do it this way, so that you
know which ways are more acceptable, and which ways are more difficult or
feel a bit painful.
When you have this down, you want to repeat the "exercise", only now
trying to keep the dildo as stationary as possible, moving your ass and
body to facilitate its entry. This is a better simulation of when he
really tries to penetrate you, because (especially if you're on the bottom
and he's on the top) you really can't expect to be able to reach around
and move his cock to where you want it. You're going to have to be able
to adjust your body to his thrusts. I really can't tell you the best way
to do this, although doing it in whatever position you expect to be in
with him (on your stomach or back, for example) would probably be the
best way to also practice it.
All you need are your or your partner's fingers. Of course, you can't
have long nails. You start out by slowly pushing one well-lubricated
finger (index is best and hand lotion or vaginal juices work fine).
Slowly move this in and out, gradually pressing more against the walls
of the anus. Since an "anal virgin" will probably be nervous about this,
his/her anal muscles will tend to contract, causing pain. So it helps if
he/she/you (I'll use 'she' from now on) reads, listens to music, or
masturbates so her mind will be off her anus. After the muscles loosen
up, put another finger in along with the first, and then keep moving
them the same way. Eventually, add a third, and, usually, by the time
you can put four fingers in comfortably, an average sized penis should
be able to fit (although keep in mind most penises are *longer* than
fingers, so you may not be able to push it in as far).
THE REAL THING
USE A CONDOM AND LUBRICANT
When the time comes that you do have anal sex with him, I would
recommend having a condom. I think we all know the potential dangers of
sex (especially anal sex) when not using one, so there's no real
They also help reduce the mess (although if you go to the bathroom before
this, and wash your ass with a wet rag, the inside of your rectum will be
quite clean, and you should be able to put a finger in it without it
picking up any solid particles), and you can have anal sex with a condom
on, then pull off the condom and have vaginal sex. Remember to urinate
before getting buttfucked, because this position puts pressure on the
The next item is a good lubricant. I always use it with my one inch
thick dildo, so I have to think you would definitely need to use some
with a much larger real cock. While Vaseline is okay to use when practising
yourself, it is unacceptable to use when using a condom, since it will
start to break the latex down. KY is usually the preferred choice.
Lube up both the outside of the anus and the penis shaft (very important!).
Any lubricant that is condom compatible is ok, that means water-based.
So do not use vaseline, baby oil, or cold cream. Use KY Jelly, AstroGlide,
HR, or PrePair. PrePair is a good one because it contains nonoxynyl-9,
which is a spermicide that also can kill many bacteria. Spit is also
a viable lubricant, provided that you keep replenishing it. It
evaporates more readily than other lubricants, especially during lengthy
(ho ho) sessions, so you'll have to be aware.
GOING FOR IT: take it *slow*
Okay, now that we've got the preparatory details out of the way, it's
time to enter. You should proceed VERY slowly. Place the head of
your penis against the anus, and then, apply a SMALL amount of
pressure so that the penis enters very slowly. It is important to
maintain control on entry because if you apply too much pressure and
the anal muscles just 'give way' it could hurt like hell. Once you
two become accustomed to doing this, it will become much easier.
Getting inside may take anywhere from 15 seconds to 15 minutes. Don't
be impatient! If you push too hard or go too fast, you can tear her.
This isn't really serious, but it'll surely end you fun for the day! She
may want you to ease up on the pressure at times to allow her body to get
used to the opening. When she gives you the go-ahead, it often helps to do
a bit of short stroking, starting with ~1/8" and going to maybe 1". When
you start to slide inside, she will most likely open up and relax better.
Don't start out thrusting, just gently move back and forth, or just get
it inside and rest it there until she's used to it.
This is the most important part for her comfort and pleasure. Basically,
you apply a bit of pressure, and as she relaxes she will let you in.
Sometimes the act of her "pushing out" (like defecating) will relax her
sphincter. After you become more used to it, a slight (~ 1/4") pumping
of the pressure will let her open slowly,
it's similar to hitting the cervix. ...Don't go in all the way!
Just be very gentle at bottom of the stroke 'till it eases up.
After a while, if she is properly relaxed, you should not need to be
gentle: you can pump away with mad abandon. In fact, some find this
most stimulating. I pump all the way in, and then all the way out,
pulling completely out of her for a moment (although not too long, 'cause
she'll start to contract right away).
Never switch orifices (i.e. going from anal to vaginal play) without
carefully washing with soap and water. Bacteria from the colon can cause
nasty vaginal infections. If you are using sex toys (dildos or anal plugs)
cover it with a condom first, so you can simply pull off the condom and
put on a fresh one to use on another orifice or another partner, provided
that you don't have contaminated lubricant oozing all over the place.
You may or may not be need some type of pillow. This is basically to
prop under the ass or lay under the stomach to make the angle of
penetration a little easier. Whether you need this will depend on
where you have sex (it may be impractical to bring one, or the positioning
may be good enough already).
If you are into learning from pornography (and if you just want a good
laugh ;-)) I would suggest that you check out Hollywood Video's "The
Best of Caught From Behind: Part II". It's very pornographic, very
informative, and very funny. It's up to you though.
As for positions, it's usually easiest for insertion (unless she's
*really* excited!) in the spoon position. This also gives you access
to easily stimulate her in other ways. Be careful not to transfer anything
from the anal region to the vagina: this can cause infections. I usually
keep a set of fingers or a hand "clean" for this purpose. This is also, of
course, important for non-intercourse anal stimulation, such as cunnilingus
with some fingers rubbing, some inside her vagina, and some in her anus.
Keep those fingers partitioned!
We usually switch to "on the knees-face in the pillow, her pressing hard
on her clit and pubic bone", to avoid severe abrasion burns! ;-) Spoon
position allows her more control over initial insertion, while the other,
well, it has its own advantages!
The other positions, after initial insertion, to face-to-face, with her
legs on my shoulders. This really allows some serious depth.
The position depends largely on how well you two fit together. If you
are tall and if your SO is short, you might want to try having her lie
flat on her stomach. You could also have her lie on her back with her
knees drawn up. In this situation, it might be a good idea to place a
pillow under her buttocks (depending on what the two of you like). If
dimensional factors permit, she could also be on her hands and knees.
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