THE BOOK OF PLEASURE (SELF-LOVE). THE PSYCHOLOGY OF ECSTASY. BY AUSTIN
OSMAN SPARE.

DEFINITIONS.

The words God, religions, faith, morals, woman, etc. (they being forms
of belief), are used as expressing different "means" as controlling and
expressing desire: an idea of unity by fear in some form or another
which must spell bondage-the imagined limits; extended by science which
adds a dearly paid inch to our height: no more.

Kia: The absolute freedom which being free is mighty enough to be
"reality" and free at any time: therefore is not potential or manifest
(except as it's instant possibility) by ideas of freedom or "means," but
by the Ego being free to recieve it, by being free of ideas about it and
by not believing. The less said of it (Kia) the less obscure is it.
Remember evolution teaches by terrible punishments-that conception is
ultimate reality but not ultimate freedom from evolution.

Virtue: Pure Art

Vice: Fear, belief, faith, control, science, and the like.

Self-Love: A mental state, mood or condition caused by the emotion of
laughter becoming the principle that allows the Ego appreciation or
universal association in permitting inclusion before conception.

Exhaustion: That state of vacuity brought by exhausting a desire by some
means of dissipation when the mood corresponds to the nature of the
desire, i.e., when the mind is worried because of the non-fulfilment of
such desire and seeks relief. By seizing this mood and living, the
resultant vacuity is sensitive to the subtle suggestion of the Sigil.

DIFFERENT RELIGIONS AND DOCTRINES AS MEANS TO PLEASURE, FREEDOM AND
POWER.

What is there to believe, but in Self? And Self is the negation of
completeness as reality. No man has seen self at any time. We are what
we believe and what it implies by a process of time in the conception;
creation is caused by this bondage to formula.

Actions are the expressions of ideas bound up in the belief; they being
inherent are obscure, their operation indirect, easily they deceive
introspection. Fruits of action are two-fold, Heaven or Hell, their
Unity or Nothingness (Purgatory or Indifference). In Heaven there is
desire for Women. Hell the desire intense. Purgatory is expectation
delayed. Indifference but disappointment till recovery. Then verily they
are one and the same. The wise pleasure seeker, having realised they are
"different degrees of desire" and never desirable, gives up both Virtue
and Vice and becomes a Kiaist. Riding the Shark of his desire he crosses
the ocean of the dual principle and engages himself in self-love.

Religions are the projection of incapacity, the imaginations of fear,
the veneer of superstition, that paradox is truth, * while ofttimes the
ornamentation of imbecility. As a virtue in the Idea to maximize
pleasure cheaply, remit your sins and excuse them-is but ceremonial, the
expression of puppetry to the governing fear. Yes! What you have
ordained in your religiousness, is your very rack, imagined though it
be! The prospect is not pleasant; you have taught yourself! It has
become inborn and your body is sensitive.

* That God is always in Heaven or that the Almighty inconceivable
emanates its conception or negation-commits suicide, etc.

Some praise the idea of Faith. To believe that they are Gods (or
anything else) would make them such-proving by all they do, to be full
of its non-belief. Better is it to admit incapacity or insignificance,
than reinforce it by faith; since the superficial "protects" but does
not change the vital. Therefore reject the former for the latter. Their
formula is deception and they are deceived, the negation of their
purpose. Faith is denial, or the metaphor Idiotcy, hence it always
fails. To make their bondage more secure Governments force religion down
the throats of their slaves, and it always suceeds; those who escape it
are but few, therefore their honour is the greater. When faith perishes,
the "Self" shall come into its own. Others less foolish, obscure the
memory that God is a conception of themselves, and as much subject to
law. Then, this ambition of faith, is it so very desirable? Myself, I
have not yet seen a man who is not God already.

Others again, and those who have much knowledge, cannot tell you exactly
what "belief" is, or how to believe in what defies natural laws and
existing belief. Surely it is not by saying "I believe"; that art has
long been lost. They are even more subject to bewilderment and
distraction directly they open their mouths full of argument; without
power and unhappy unless spreading their own confusion, to gain cogency
they must adopt dogma and mannerism that excludes possibility .  .  .  .
.  . By the illumination of their knowledge they deteriorate in
accomplishment. Have we not watched them decay in ration to their
expoundings? Verily, man cannot believe by faith or gain, neither can he
explain his knowledge unless born of a new law. We being everything,
wherefore the necessity of imagining we are not?

Be ye mystic.

Others believe in prayer  .  .  .  .  have not all yet learnt, that to
ask it to be denied? Let it be the root of your Gospel. Oh, ye who are
living other peoples lives! Unless desire is subconscious, it is not
fulfilled, no, not in this life. Then verily sleep is better than
prayer. Quiescence is hidden desire, a form of "not asking"; by it the
female obtains much from man. Utilize prayer (if you must pray) as a
means of exhaustion, and by that you will obtain your desire.

Some do much to show the similarity of different religions; certainly by
it I prove the possibility of a fundamental illusion, but that they
never realise-or this Ukase they are the mockery, for how much they
regret! They suffer more conflict than the unenlightened. With what they
can identify their own delusion of fear they call truth. They never see
this similarity and the quintessence of religions, their own poverty of
imagination and religion's palliation. Better is it to show the
essential difference o f religions. It is as well to know that various
means; is not their object to deceive and govern? Surely then, for the
attainment of the transcendental, God and religion should have no place.

Some praise truth so-called, but give it many containers; forgetting its
dependence they prove its relationship and paradox, the song of
experience and illusion. Paradox is not "truth", but the truth that
anything can be true for a time. What supersedes paradox and its
implicit ("not necessary"), I will make the foundation of my teaching.
Let us determine the deliberative, "the truth" cannot be divided.
Self-love only cannot be denied and is Self-love as such when
paradoxical, under any condition, hence it alone is truth, without
accessories complete.

Others praise ceremonial Magic, and are supposed to suffer much Ecstasy!
 Our asylums are crowded, the stage is over-run! Is it by symbolizing we
 become the symbolized? Were I to crown myself King, should I be King?
 Rather should I be an object of disgust or pity. These Magicians, whose
 insincerity is their safety, are but the unemployed dandies of the
 Brothels. Magic is but one's natural ability to attract without asking;
 ceremony what is unaffected, its doctrine the negation of theirs. I
 know them well and their creed of learning that teaches the fear of
 their own light. Vampires, they are as the very lice in attraction.
 Their practices prove their incapacity, they have no magic to intensify
 the normal, the joy of a child or healthy person, none to evoke their
 pleasure or wisdom from themselves. Their methods depending on a morass
 of the imagination and a chaos of conditions, their knowledge obtained
 with less decency than the hyena his food, I say they are less free and
 do not obtain the satisfaction of the meanest among animals. Self
 condemned in their disgusting fatness, their emptiness of power,
 without even the magic of personal charm or beauty, they are offensive
 in their bad taste and mongering for advertisement. The freedom of
 energy is not obtained by its bondage, great power not by
 disintegration. Is it not because our energy (or mind stuff) is already
 over bound and divided, that we are not capable, let alone magical?

Some believe any and every thing is symbolic, and can be transcribed,
and explain the occult, but of what they do not know. (Great spiritual
truths?) So argument a metaphor, cautiously confusing the obvious which
developes the hidden virtue. This unnecessary corpulency, however
impressive, is it not disgusting? (The Elephant is exceeding large but
extremely powerful, the swine though odious does not breed the contempt
of our good taste.) If a man is no hero to his servant, much less can he
remain a mystic i n the eyes of the curious; similarity educates
mimicry. Decorate your meaning, however objectionable (as fact), after
you have shown your honesty. Truth, though simple, never needs the
argument of confusion for obscurity; its own pure symbolism embraces all
possibilities as mystic design. Take your stand in commonsense and you
include the truth which cannot lie; no argument has yet prevailed.
Perfect proportion suggest no alteration, and what is useless decays.

They reject all the modern symbolism*(1) and reach an absurd limit very
early. Not counting on change*(2) and (at times) the arbitrary nature of
symbolism or the chance of a preserved folly, by their adoption of the
traditional without a Science, as having reading to the present, their
symbolism is chaotic and meaningless. Not knowing the early rendering,
they succeed in projecting their own meagreness by this confusion, as
explaining the ancient symbols. Children are more wise. This
conglomeration of antiq uity decayed, collected with the disease of
greed-is surely the chance for charity? Forgetting trumpery ideas, learn
the best tradition by seeing you own functions and the modern unbiassed.
Some praise the belief in a moral doctrinal code, which they naturally
and continually transgress, and never obtain their purpose. Given the
right nature, they succeed fairly in their own governing, and are those
most healthy, sane and self-pleased. It may be called the negation of my
doctrine, th ey obtain tolerable sati sfaction, whereas mine is
complete. Let him tarry here, who is not strong for the great work. In
freedom he might be lost. So fledge your wings fearlessly, ye humble
ones!

*(1) All means of locomotion, machinery, governments, institutions, and
everything essentially modern, is vital symbolism of the workings of our
mind, etc.

*(2) The symbol of justice known to the Romans is not symbolic of
Divine, or our justice, at least not necessarily or usually. The
vitality is not exactly like water-nor are we trees; more like
ourselves, which might incidentally  include trees somewhere
unlearnt-much more obvious in our workings at present.

Others say knowledge only is eternal, it is the eternal illusion of
learning-the Ukase of learning what we already know. Directly we ask
ourselves "how" we induce stupidity; without this conception what is
there we could not know and accomplish? Others for concentration, it
will not free you, the mind conceiving the law is bondage. Arrived at
that, you will want deconcentration. Dissociation from all ideas but one
is not release but imaginative fulfilment, or the fury of creation.
Others again, that all thi ngs are emanations of the Divine Spirit, as
rays from the Sun, hence the need of emancipation? Verily, things are of
necessity through their conception and belief. Then let us destroy or
change conception, and empty the belief.

These and many other doctrines, are declared by me as the perpetuators
of sin and illusion. Each and all depending on a muddled implication,
obscuring, yet evolved from the duality of the consciousness for their
enjoyment. In fear they would vomit hot blood were they to see the
fruits of their actions and pleasures. Thus believing in widely
different doctrines, they are of the dual principle, necessary parasites
on each other. Like drugs and the surgeon's knife, they only annul or at
best remove an effect. 

They do not change or remove the fundamental cause (the law). "Oh, God,
thou art the stagnant environment." All is quackery: these religions
whose very existence depend on their failure, are so full of misery and
confusion, have only multiplied arguments, as full of argument as they
are evil, so crowded with non-essentials, being so barren of any free
pleasure in this life or another, I cannot uphold their doctrines. Their
criterion for enjoyment-death! Better it were a man renounce them all,
and embrace hi s own invincible purpose. He cannot go further, and this
is his only release. By it he may put his pleasure where he will, and
find satisfaction.

THE CONSUMER OF RELIGION

Kia, in its Transcendental and Conceivable Manifestation.

Of name it has no name, to designate. I call it Kia I dare not claim it
 as myself. The Kia which can be expressed by conceivable ideas, is not
 the eternal Kia, which burns up all belief but is the archetype of
 "self," the slavery of mortality. Endeavouring to describe "it," I
 write what may be but not usually-called the "book of lies"*(1). The
 unorthodox of the originable-a volant "sight," that conveys somehow by
 the incidental, that truth is somewhere. The Kia which can be vaguely
 expressed in words is the "Neither-Neither," the unmodified "I" in the
 sensation of omnipresence, the illumination symbolically transcribed in
 the sacred alphabet, and of which I am about to write. Its emanation is
 its own intensity, but not necessariness, it has and ever will exist,
 the virgin quantum-by its exuberance we have gained existence. Who dare
 say where, why and how it is related? By the labour of time the doubter
 inhabits his limit. Not related to, but permitting all things, it
 eludes concepti on, yet is the quintessence of conception as permeating
 pleasure in meaning. Anterior to Heaven and Earth, in its aspect that
 transcends these, but not intelligence, it may be regarded as the
 primordial sexual principle, the idea of pleasure in self-love. Only he
 who has attained the death posture can apprehend this new sexuality,
 and its almighty love satisfied. He that is ever servile to belief,
 clogged by desire, is identified with such and can see but its infinite
 ramifications in diss atisfaction*(2). The progenitor of itself and all
 things, but resembling nothing, this sexuality in its early simplicity,
 embodies the everlasting. Time has not changed it, hence I call it new.
 This ancestral sex principle, and the idea of self, are one and the
 same, this sameness its exaction and infinite possibilities, the early
 duality, the mystery of mysteries, the Sphinx at the gates of all
 spirituality. All conceivable ideas begin and end as light in its
 emotion, the ecstasy wh ich the creation of the idea of self induces.
 The idea is unity by th e formula of self, its necessary reality as
 continuity, the question of all things, all this universe visible and
 invisible has come out of it. As unity conceived duality, it begot
 trinity, begot tetragrammaton. Duality being unity, is time, the
 complex of conception, the eternal refluctuation to the primeval
 reality in freedom-being trinity of dualities, is the six senses, the
 five facets of sex-projecting as environment for self-assimilation in
 denial, as a complete sexuality. Bei ng tetragrammaton of dual ities is
 twelvefold by arrangement, the human complex, and may be called the
 twelve commandments of the believer. It imagines the eternal decimal,
 its multiplicity embracing eternity, from which spring the manifold
 forms, which constitute existence. Vitalized by the breath of
 self-love, life is conscious of one. Self being its opposing force, is
 alternately conflict, harmony, life and death. These four principles
 are one and the same-the concep tion considered as the complete "self"
 or consciousness-hence th ey may be blended into unity and Symbolized.
 One form made by two, that is three-fold and having four directions.

*(1) About this "Self"; all conception is the dual principle, the law
which is its conception.

*(2) The unmodified sex principle refracted through the dual principle
emanates the infinite variety of emotions or sexualities, which may be
called its ramifications.

The Transcendental Law, the Law and Testament of the "New."

The law of Kia is its own arbiter, beyond necessitation, who can grasp
 the nameless Kia? Obvious but unintelligible, without form, its design
 most excellent. Its wish is its superabundance, who can assert its
 mysterious purpose? By our knowledge it becomes more obscure, more
 remote, and our faith-opacity. Without attribute, I know not its name.
 How free it is, it has no need of sovereignty! (Kingdoms are their own
 despoilers.) Without lineage, who dare claim relationship? Without
 virtue, how pleasing in its moral self-love! How mighty is it, in its
 assertion of "Need not be-Does not matter"! Self-love in complete
 perspective, serves its own invincible purpose of ecstasy. Supreme
 bliss simulating opposition is its balance. It suffers no hurt, neither
 does it labour. Is it not self-attracting and independent? Assuredly we
 cannot call it balance. Could we but imitate its law, all creation
 without command would unite and serve our purpose in pleasure and
 harmony. Kia transcending conc eption, is unchanging and ine
 xhaustible, there is no need of illumination to see it. If we open our
 mouths to speak of it, it is not of it but of our duality, mighty
 though it be in its early simplicity! Kia without conceiving, produces
 its rendezvous as the fulness of creation. Without assertion the
 mightiest energy, without smallness it may appear the least among
 things. Its possession ours without asking, its being free, the only
 thing that is free. Without distinction, i t has no favourites, but
 nourishes itself. In fear all creatio n pays homage-but does not extol
 its moral, so everything perishes unbeautifully. We endow ourselves
 with the power we concieve of it, and it acts as master-*, never the
 cause of emancipation. Thus for ever from "self" do I fashion the Kia,
 without likeness, but which may be regarded as the truth. From this
 consultation is the bondage made, not by intelligence shall we be free.
 The law of Kia is its ever original purpose, undetermined, without
 change the emanations, th rough our conception they materialize a nd
 are of that duality, man takes this law from this refraction, his
 ideas-reality. With what does he balance his ecstasy? Measure for
 measure by intense pain, sorrow, and miseries. With what his rebellion?
 Of necessity slavery! Duality is the law, realization by suffering,
 relates and opposes by units of time. Ecstasy for any length of time is
 difficult to obtain, and laboured heavily for. Various degrees of
 misery alternating with gusts of pleasure and emotions less anxious,
 would seem the condition of co nsciousness and existence. Duality in
 some form or another is consciousness as existence. It is the illusion
 of time, size, entity, etc.-the world's limit. The dual principle is
 the quintessence of all experience, no ramification has enlarged its
 early simplicity, but is only its repetition, modification or
 complexity, never is its evolution complete. It cannot go further than
 the experience of self-so returns and unites again and again, ever an
 anti-climax. For ever retrogre ssing to its original simplicity by
 infinite complication is its evolution. No man shall understand "Why"
 by its workings. Know it as the illusion that embraces the learning of
 all existence. The most aged one who grows no wiser, it may be regarded
 as the mother of all things. Therefore believe all experience to be
 illusion, and the law of duality. As space pervades an object both in
 and out, similarly within and beyond this ever-changing cosmos, there
 is this secondless pri nciple.

* By scores of incarnations, our eventual "self" is derived from the
attributes with which we endow our God, the abstract Ego or conceptive
principle. All conception is a denial of the Kia, hence we are its
opposition, our own evil. The offspring of ourselves, we are the
conflict of what we deny and assert of the Kia. It would seem as though
we cannot be too careful in our choice, for it determines the body we
inhabit.

SOLILOQUY ON GOD-HEAD.

Who ever Thought Thus?

Something is causing Pain and something energizes the Agony: may it not
be caused through the latent Idea of Supreme Bliss? And this eternal
expectation, this amassing of ornament on decay, this ever-abiding
thought- is coincidental with the vanity preceding death? O, squalid
thought from the most morbid spleen how can I devour thee and save my
Soul? Ever did it answer back-"Pay homage where due: the Physician is
the Lord of existence!" This superstition of medicine-is it not the
essence of cowardice, the agent of Death?

Strange no one remembers being dead? Have you ever seen the Sun?-If you
have then you have seen nothing dead-in spite of you different belief!
Which is the more dead "you" or this corpse? Which of you has the
greater degree of consciousness? Judging by expression alone-which of
you appears enjoying Life most? May not this "belief" in death be the
"will" that attempts "death" for your satisfaction, but can give you no
more than sleep, decay, change-hell? This constant somnambulism is "the
unsatisfactory."

You disbelieve in Ghosts and God-because you have not seen them? What!
You have never seen the mocking ghosts of your beliefs?-the Laughing
Bedlam of your humility or Mammon-your grotesque Ideas of "Self"? Yea,
your very faculties and your most courageous Lies are Gods! Who is the
slayer of your Gods-but a God!

There is no proof that you existed before? What an excuse! No one has
returned to tell us? What a damning advocate! You are but what you
were-somehow changed? You are the case Prima Facie that you are
reincarnated to perhaps anything? "Perhapses" are possible! Can you do
differently to what you do? Never shall I tire of asserting that you
constantly do differently!

What is the "ugliness" that offends? Is it the vague knowledge that you
will have to change your mind-that you are germinating what you contain?
You are always remembering what you forgot; to-day may be the day of
reckoning-of believing by force what you disbelieved? Now if to-day is
yesterday in all but appearances-then to-morrow also is to-day- the day
of decay! Daily is this universe destroyed, that is why you are
conscious! There is no Life and Death? Such ideas should be less than
comic.

There is no Duality?

You are conscious of the gay Butterfly you observe and are conscious of
being "You": the Butterfly is conscious of being "itself," and as such,
it is a consciousness as good as and the same as yours, i.e., of you
being "you." Therefore this consciousness of "you" that you both feel is
the same "you"? Ergo, you are one and the same-the mystery of mysteries
and the most simple thing in the world to understand! How could you be
conscious of what you are not? But you might believe differently? So, if
you hurt the Butterfly you hurt yourself, but your belief that you don't
hurt yourself protects you from hurt-for a time! Belief gets tired and
you are miserably hurt! Do what you will-belief is ever its own
inconsistency. Desire contains everything, hence you must believe in
everything-if you b elieve at all! B elief seems to exclude commonsense.

There is no doubt about it-this consciousness of "Thee" and "Me" is the
unwelcome but ever ready torturer-yet it "need not be so" in any sense!
Is it not a matter of Fear? You are fearsome of entering a den of
Tigers? (And I assure you it is a matter of righteousness-(inborn or
cultured)-whether you enter voluntarily or are chucked in, and whether
you come out alive or not!) Yet daily you fearlessly enter dens
inhabited by more terrible creatures than Tigers and you come out
unharmed-why?

The Allegory.

Great scientists are finding out the death-dealing properties of the
microbes they discover we breathe, and which according to their canons
should destroy; we should be already dead? Have faith! The canons of
science are quite correct, they do not disappoint the doubt! Our greater
familiarity-"this impulse to knowledge" will certainly bring us the
disease and death they give! And also give us in compensation their
powers of destruction! For the destruction of whom? Things will be
squared! Is this the value of the will? This "will to power"-how life
preserving! How furthering of discriminate selection! How pleasing! Most
noble explorers! O, you scientists-go on discovering the Bottomless Pit!
When you are sodden with science-the lightning will thunder out the
murder? New hope will be born? New creatures for the circus? (The
conception of) God-head must ever evolve its inertia for transmutation
to its very opposite-because it contains it!

The master must be the painful learner of his stupidity?

The idea of God ever means the forgetfulness of supremacy and Godliness.
So must be supplanted by fear, eh?

There is no Atheist, no one is free from auto-biography, there is no
fearless pleasurist?

The conception is the absence of its indisputable reality within! When
the conception is memorial in forgetfulness-it may be the chance of its
reality for you?? When the prayer-(you are always praying) has
transmutated to its Blasphemy-you are attractive enough to be heard-your
desire is gratified! What a somersault of humility!

Whether God is projected as master by fear or as the dweller within by
love Gods we are all the time, that is why divinity is always potential.
Its constant generation, the eternal delay-is life. This envy of the
Master or Creator-the ultimate hope to follow in manner is also
existence and the forfeiture of "Life"!

There is no scientific fact, it ever implies its opposite as equal fact,
this is the "fact." Then why trouble to prove anything a fact? This vain
hope to prove finality is death itself, so why humbug the "Desire"? You
have proved (by mathematics!) the sun to be so many millions of miles
away from you-you will now improve its efficiency! Nature-that impulse
to the antitheses of your truths, will early prove (by mathematics and
whenever you like!) that the Sun does not exist at all! Or if you
wish-it will pro ve conclusively that the Sun is millions of millions of
miles further away or millions of miles nearer than you once thought!
Most extraordinary thinker! These facts and many others are already know
to the butterfly, the lice, the insects-and perhaps yourself? Whose
senses are the more true-yours or the house-fly's? You will eventually
adopt their vision-their thoughts and wisdom-you were such once? You are
such now but have not awakened them-you will be such again in power!
Wondrous progre ss! Most meritori ous accomplishments! Most merciless!
Progress should be closely examined and what you have gained by the
convenience of science.

A thought for perspective-you are always what you most wish-the
prospective! Your desire is to live according to your desire, and this
you are always realizing! Most noble sentiment!-you are "it"
already-"the satisfied"-"the desireless"-"the real thing"! You are drunk
with it.

There is no illusion but consciousness! This consciousness is ever the
smiling monument commemorating "Whether you ever really enjoyed Life"!

The God of the "Will" is the command to obey, its Justice everyone
fears-it is a Sword-your desert for obedience! "Will" is the command to
believe, your will is what you have believed actively willing the belief
for you! You think when "it" wishes! "Will" is complication, the means
of a means. Call this will free or not-beyond will and belief is
Self-love. I know of no better name. It is free to believe what it
desires. You are free to believe in nothing related to belief. The
"Truth" is not difficult to un derstand! The truth has no will-will has
no truth! Truth is "will" never believed-it has no truth! "Could be"-is
the immediate certainty! This haunting Sphinx teaches us the value of
the "will to anything"? Then there is no graver risk than Absolute
Knowledge-if little is dangerous-what about Omniscience? The Almighty
power has no accessories!

Science is the accursed doubt of the possible, yea, of what does exist!
You cannot conceive an impossibility, nothing is impossible, you are the
impossible! Doubt is delay-time-but how it punishes! Nothing is more
true than anything else! What are you not-you ever answered truthfully?

You tyrannise over yourself, so constantly forget what you remember; you
resist sense objects and show resistance to the faculties by believing
or not. These faculties are as numerous as the atoms you have not yet
seen, and they are as endless as the number one-they come into life at
will. You adopt a few at a time- knowledge you speak through them- did
you but understand your grammar those you disown speak louder than your
words! I would not believe the wisdom of the Almighty.

Belief is ever its own tempter to believe differently; you cannot
believe freedom but you may be freed from belief? Neither can you
believe the "Truth" but you need not compromise yourself. The way of
Life is not by "means"-these doctrines-my doctrines even though they
allow the self-appointed devotee to emulate my realization- may I ever
blush! The man of sorrows is the Teacher! I have taught- would I teach
myself or thee again? Not for a gift from Heaven! Mastership equals
learning- equals constant unlear ning! Almighty is he who has not learnt
and mighty is the babe- it has only the power of assimilating!

The most solecistical of fools now asks-"how can we escape the
inevitable evolutions of conception-as all is ever conceiving"? My
answer shall permit all means, all men, all conditions. Listen, O, God
that art, yet would be God. When the mind is nonplussed- capability to
attempt the impossible becomes known; by that most simple state of
"Neither-Neither" the Ego becomes the Silent Watcher and knows about it
all! The "Why" and "How" of desire is contained within the mystic state
of "Neither-Neither" and comm on-sense proves it is the milk state, most
nutritious! Clownish that I am- yet all my ideas have come out of it
(and, my friend, all yours), but ever have I been a sluggard- an old
sinner who would see others almighty before himself.

THE DEATH POSTURE

Ideas of Self in conflict cannot be slain, by resistance they are a
reality- no Death or cunning has overcome them but is their
reinforcement of energy. The dead are born again and again lie in the
womb of conscience. By allowing maturity is to predicate decay when by
non-resistance is retrogression to early simplicity and the passage to
the original and unity without idea. From that idea is the formula of
non-resistance germinating "Does not matter- please yourself."

The conception of "I am not" must of necessity follow the conception of
"I am," because of its grammar, as surely in this world of sorrow night
follows day. The recognition of pain as such, implies the idea of
pleasure, and so with all ideas. By this duality, let him remember to
laugh at all times, recognize all things, resist nothing; then there is
no conflict, incompatibility or compulsion as such.

Transgressing Conception by a Lucid Symbolism.

Man implies Woman, I transcend these by the Hermaphrodite, this again
implies a Eunuch*(1); all these conditions I transcend by a "Neither"
principle, yet although a "Neither" is vague, the fact of conceiving it
proves its palpability, and again implies a different "Neither."*(2)

But the "Neither-Neither" principle of those two, is the state where the
mind has passed beyond conception, it cannot be balanced, since it
implies only itself. The "I" principle has reached the "Does not matter-
need not be" state, and is not related to form. Save and beyond it,
there is no other, therefore it alone is complete and eternal.
Indestructible, it has power to destroy- therefore it alone is true
freedom and existence. Through it comes immunity from all sorrow,
therefore the spirit is ecstasy. R enouncing everything by the means
shown, take shelter in it. Surely it is the abode of Kia? This having
once been (even Symbolically) reached, is our unconditional release from
duality and time- believe this to be true. The belief free from all
ideas but pleasure, the Karma through law (displeasure) speedily
exhausts itself. In that moment beyond time, a new law can become
incarnate, without the payment of sorow, every wish gratified, he*(3)
having become the gratifier by his law. The new law shall be the a rcana
of the mystic unbalanced "Does not mattter- need not be," there is no
necessitation, "please yourself" is its creed.*(4)

In that day there can be deliberation. Without subjection, what you wish
to believe can be true. "He"*(5) is pleased by this imitation, the truth
revealed to me by all systems of government but is himself ungoverned;
Kia, the supreme bliss. This the glorious Science of pleasing one's self
by a new agreement, the art of Self-love by recognition, the Psychology
of ecstasy by non-resistance.

*(1) Sex-less.

*(2) They being dual have analogy to certain early sex principles in
nature. They are carried further in the sacred alphabet, being too
abstruse to explain by orthodox words and grammar.

*(3) The Ego.

*(4) The belief ever striving for denial- fulness by multiplication, is
kept free by retention in this.

*(5) "He", the Ego, now becomes the "Absolute."

The Ritual and Doctrine

Lying on your back lazily, the body expressing the condition of yawning,
suspiring while conceiving by smiling, that is the idea of the posture.
Forgetting time with those things which were essential- reflecting their
meaninglessness, the moment is beyond time and its virtue has happened.

Standing on tip-toe, with the arms rigid, bound behind by the hands,
clasped and straning the utmost, the neck streched- breathing deeply and
spasmodically, till giddy and sensation comes in gusts, gives exhaustion
and capacity for the former.

Gazing at your reflection till it is blurred and you know not the gazer,
close your eyes (this usually happens involuntarily) and visualize. The
light (always an X in curious evolutions) that is seen should be held on
to, never letting go, till the effort is forgotten, this gives a feeling
of immensity (which sees a small form    ), whose limit you cannot
reach. This should be practised before experiencing the foregoing. The
emotion that is felt is the knowledge which tells you why.

The death posture is its inevitability accelerated, through it we escape
our unending delay by attachment, the Ego is swept up as a leaf in a
fierce gale- in the fleetness of the indeterminable, that which is
always about to happen becomes its truth. Things that are self-evident
are no longer obscure, as by his own will he pleases, know this as the
negation of all faith by living it, the end of the duality of the
consciousness. Of belief, a positive death state, all else as sleep, a
negative state. It is th e dead body of all we believe, and shall awake
a dead corpse. The Ego in subjection to law, seeks inertion in sleep and
death. Know the death posture and its reality in annihilation of law-
the ascension from duality. In that day of tearless lamentation the
universe shall be reduced to ashes   .   .   .   .   but he escapes the
judgment! And what of "I," most unfortunate man! In that freedom there
is no necessitation, what dare I say more? Rather would I commit much
sin than comprom ise myself. There are man y preliminary exercises, as
innumerable as sins, futile of themselves but designative of the
ultimate means. The death posture in the reduction of all conception
(sin) to the "Neither-Neither" till the desire is contentment by
pleasing yourself. By this and by no other are the inertia of belief;
the restoration of the new sexuality and the ever original self-love in
freedom are attained. The primordial vacuity (or belief) is not by the
exercise of focussing the min d on a negation of all conceivable things,
the identity of unity and duality, chaos and uniformity, etc., etc., but
by doing it now, not eventually. Percieve, and feel without the
necessity of an opposite, but by its relative. Percieve light without
shadow by its own colour as contrast, through evoking the emotion of
laughter at the time of ecstasy in union, and by practice till that
emotion is untiring and subtle. The law or reaction is defeated by
inclusion. Were he to enjoy an hundred pleasures at a time, however much
his ecstasy, he does not los e, but great increase takes place. Let him
practise it daily, accordingly, till he arrives at the centre of desire.
He has imitated the great purpose. Like this, all emotions should find
equipoise at the time of emanation, till they become one. Thus by
hindering belief and semen from conception, they become simple and
cosmic. By its illumination there is nothing that cannot be explained.
Certainly I find satisfaction in ecstasy. I have now told you a secret
of great import, it w as known to me in childhood.

Even by sedulously striving for a vacuity of belief, one is cosmic
enough to dwell in the innermost of others and enjoy them. Among men few
know what they really believe or desire, let him begin, who would know,
by locating his belief till he sees his will. Existing as dual, they are
identical in desire, by their duality there is no control, for will and
belief are ever at variance, and each would shape the other to its ends,
in the issue neither wins as the joy is a covert of sorrow. Let him
unite them.

THE CLOUDY ENEMIES BORN OF STAGNANT SELF-HYPNOTISM.

Natural belief is the intuition that compels belief through that which
is experienced reacting, and dominating in turns; everything has to
associate itself through its definite emotion, stimulated by those in
harmony; those discordant, lose cogency and inhibit. So by its own
workings belief is limited and determined for you. The majority of our
actions can be traced back to a subconscious desire (for freedom) in
conflict with habit, an obedience to inherent fatalism which hangs on
"good and bad" actions alr eady committed (in past existence) against a
preserved morality* and whose reaction gives expression as spontaneity,
involuntariness, autonomy, the deliberate, etc., as the chance arises.
The rest is due to a conflicting traditional moral doctrine that has
become constitutional (partly adopted to govern and time this reaction).
In its origin, an idea of what was then considered conveniently good and
bad   .   .   .   .   To maximize pleasure by an arbitrary compromise of
abstentio n and performance of desire feared. Assimilated by the deceit
of its divine origin, its tenets are reward for obedience, punishment
for transgression, both holding good for all time (this world and
another).  This moral code is a dramatised burlesque of the conceptive
faculty, but is never so perfect or simple in that it allows latitude
for change in any sense, so becomes dissociated from evolution, etc; and
this divorce loses any utility and of necessity for its own preservation
and the sympathy desired, evolves contradictions or a complication to
give relationship. Transgressing its commandments, dishonesty shows us
its iniquity, for our justification; or simultaneously we create an
excuse or reason for the sin by a distortion of the moral code, that
allows some incongruity. (Usually retaing a few unforgiveable sins- and
an unwritten law.) This negative confession is a feigned rationalism
that allows adventitious excuses  .  .  .  .  a process of
self-deception to satisfy and summ arily persuade yourself of
righteousness. What one amo ng us has any excuse but self-love? We do
not create or confess a morality that is convenient, that lends itself
to growth, and remains simple, that allows transgression without excuse
or punishment. It would be wise and commonsense to do so, whatever the
state of affairs in your mind. Nature eventually denies that which it
affirms: Through permanent association with the same moral code we help
desire to transgress. Desire of those things denied, the more you
restrict the more yo u sin, but desire equally de sires preservation of
moral instinct, so desire is its own conflict (and weakly enough). Have
no fear, the Bull of earth has long had nothing to do with your unclean
conscience, your stagnant ideas of morality. The microbe alone would
seem without fear!

* The elemental morality or fear of displeasing.

The Complexity of the Belief (Know Thyself).

The nature of belief equals all possibilities ultimately true by
identification through culture to an idea of time, so what is not timely
is not true, and what is not true, prognostication. Thought of one
thing, implies the possibility of another idea as contradicting but not
dissociated, belief is to make "one" more convincing. The condition of
belief is the denial or limit imposed on the capability of the vitality.
To believe at all as such is a concentration and schooling to exclude
the implied by adopti ng a hypothesis or faith that reflects
non-worryingly or deceitfully rationalizes the rejected. Truth is not
the truth of formula.

The centre of belief is love for one's self, projecting environment for
fulfilment but allowing its distortion to simulate denial, an ambition
to become ulterior to self-desire, but you cannot get further than the
centre, so one multiplies (believes) in order to be more unaware of the
fundamental. Now this refusal to believe what one believes and exactly
as one believes, is the first condition for all those who are in desire
in any sense whatsoever; the man who is in love perforce becomes a liar,
self-hypno tised by his morbid ornamentation. You know the results.  .
.  .  .You can only "truly believe" one thing, yet its implexion is
essential (as the truth seems to kill*), so the imagined goes on for
ever. The imagination learns that the idea is its compulsion. To explain
the "why" of belief (or of anything else), we must transcend its schism.
By entire consciousness in how the self loves is the means. As we
imitate this law of duality in all our processes of believing, it is not
so simple as it se ems. Who ha s transgressed the law of conception? Who
has no fear? Yet by this sin, is the sciential of what determines the
Schetic. Gracefully compelling or expecting disappointment at the time
of desire is the means of locating its deceit, a consciousness that
alone gives the chance of inquiry. Beyond it is something arbitrary, the
pauser, the ordainer of law, imitating it by "reason" is but damning the
consequences. Reason is belief, belief is fear of one's capability, the
faith that y ou are not even all the wonders of creation, let alone the
possibility of being the creator. It is delay  .  .  .  .  Belief well
earns the terrible hatred of the vitality. Belief is not freedom. Belief
creates its necessary experience, progress germinates in retrogression.
Consider the reality is somewhere: and your belief may be too small for
its habitation. Oh, ye of much faith in God, merge into it by the
worship of self! Ah! foolish man, worship the glorious in freedom. When
death approac hes the faith in God and desire of woman will not save
you, what are their use when withering and decay sets in and the body is
an object of disgust? And what is the use of knowledge and charity when
reality is known? Unsheathe the sword of self; ideas of the Almighty
should be constantly slain and righteousness should be inquired into.

* And does kill when feared.

Whosoever shall study his true nature a little, him does the "self"
investigate with his extraordinary conduct. He can compel anything
without offending. As the tendency of the most lustful ceases before
publicity and death, so do morals and faith before the perfect bliss. A
glimpse of the truth is born of purity of love: when the desire is
without fear, when it does not desire possession. When the thought is
fulfilled by vision. The fire that is all pleasure is loosed at his
will, he is attraction, the cyn osure of women. When the believing
principle is devoid of faith, as sterile of possessing ideas of God - he
is indestructible. Only when there is no fear in any form is there
realisation of identity with reality (freedom). For them there is no
danger in negligence, there being no discrimination. For him who is
conscious of the slightest differentiation there is fear. So long as
there is perception of self-reproach or conscience, there is pain
germinating: there is no freedom. He who believes anything he per ceives
or imagines, falls into sin. By believing without feeling perturbation,
forgetting ideas of external and internal, he regards everything as
self, and is the consciousness of non-resistance, has no horizon: he is
free. On seeing the star-lit eyes and rosebud mouths, the breasts and
loins of beautiful women, you become lovingly attached, but if you fear,
consider constantly that they are merely the charred flesh and bones of
yourself aft er the torture. The space between the eternal and "self,"
is it no t a moral doctrine? By unbelieving all one believes and
sedulously without anxiety not believing (by the "Neither-Neither"
process), the principle becomes simple and cosmic enough to include what
you are always desiring, and you are free to believe what was
impossible. The desire is so mighty, it asks no permission, and suffers
no consequences, but the ecstasy of its possession. Against it nothing
can prevail, it burns up, as celluloid cast into the furnace- the old
folly of promising things on beh alf of an imagined "another." At hand
is the freedom of Heaven, the Way, the Truth, and the Light, and none
dare say this of himself but by me, in Truth I alone am "Self," my will
unconditioned, is magical. Those who have lived much in their nature
will in some degree be familiar with such a sensation, poor though it
be.

PREFACE TO SELF-LOVE

Let us be honest! Thou art "that," supreme in freedom, most desirable,
beyond desire, untouched by the six stupifiers. The sexuality labours,
so Death may harvest by desire. The elusive fancies of the senses are
dangerous, because of the righteousness you have learned to obey and
control them by. Hell-fire burns because you "conceived"; and will cease
to hurt when you identify the Ego with all the possibilities of its
qualities by believing as the "Neither-Neither" process. You are fire
yet you are scorched ! Because you have "willed" belief (differently or
not makes no difference); the cycle of belief goes on and always
obliges, so one day you must believe differently and the fire will no
longer hurt- you are saved? There are other means of hurting you?

In that state which is not, there is no consciousness in any sense that
 thou art "that" (Kia), which is superb, beyond the range of definition:
 there is no temptation of freedom, "it" was not the cause of evolution.
 Hence "it" is beyond time, consciousness or unconsciousness, everything
 or nothingness, etc.; this I know through the "Neither-Neither" which
 is automatically beyond every conception, ever free in every sense.
 Perhaps "it" may not be obscure by continual afterthought and vaguely
 felt through the hand of innocence- but whoever understands such simple
 meanings? "It" is never perceived, being the imperceptible Ecstasy of
 the "Neither-Neither"- ever present but hidden by exhaustion through
 the cycle of Unity. The certainty of consciousness is always the
 uncertainty of the perceived or experienced in whatever state it may
 be, the constant doubt spelling fear, pain, decay, and the like- the
 cause of evolution, the eternal incompletion.

O, desire, listen! In point of virulence spiritual desire is as fatal as
the sensuous. Aspiration towards a "supreme" is a network of deadly
desires because of cowardice within, ergo, some unsatisfied wisdom
awaiting exploitation to suffer its evolutions. There is no final
wisdom- there is no final desire. How can anything end? Has to-day ever
ended? These things are endlessness!

A person desires things of this world- but where is the difference of
desiring the "Supreme Bliss"? Which is the more selfish? Which is nearer
you? Which pleases the Creator more? Are you certain of the Creator's
will and are you sure of your own desire? Are you the Creator or just
yourself, as you fondly imagine your contents?

All these desires, however mighty, you will one day incarnate- yea,
photograph. These things already exist- very soon you will have
spiritual photographs (unfaked) but not by the camera you use at
present. The pioneer is ever the old fool. An afterthought: some spirits
are already photographed- the microbes.

Are you ever free of desideratum? Belief is eternal desire!

Desire is its own cruelty, the fettering of the hand to labour in some
world unknown; nothing is always dead and no thought dies, the master
becomes the slave- the position is alternate; you have long believed
this, it is in the flesh of your generations with the most merciless
Judge! The scorn of all your reforms or the inversion of your values!

This constant curse and blasphemy- is not the relief more in the
knowledge of the nascent unrelenting taskmaster?

Are not our bodies all smeared with its blood? Has not the world ever
been bloody? Are not our pleasures but rest to drink the blood of
slaughter? O, determined Liars, ye know not yet the lie, it may be
Truth!

The Ego is desire, so everything is ultimately desired and undesirable,
desire is ever a preliminary forecast of terrible dissatisfaction hidden
by its ever-present vainglory. The millenium will come and quickly go.
Men will be greater than the Gods they ever conceived- there will be
greater dissatisfaction. You are ever what you were but you may be so in
a different form!

A person or a nation, however vain or content, falls immediately into
unknown and inevitable desire, consuming him little by little through
those conditions- any condition!

The mind becomes firm in desire by desire as devotion, but when realized
is it then eternally desirable? (or even for a period of a million
years). In Heaven shall be fettered thy foot! Therefore remove the
conception that desire is pure, or impure, or has completion- remove it
by the "Neither-Neither." Even whether the desire is for the exhasustion
of desire by the "neither-Neither" or for realization in a wife- it is
desire- its unending evolution. Therefore remove desire in any form by
the "Neither-Neith er." Remove the illusion that there is Spirit and
Not-Spirit (this idea has never given beneficial results). Remove all
conceptions by the same means.

So long as the notion remains that there is "compulsory bondage" in this
World or even in dreams there is such bondage. Remove the conception of
Freedom and Bondage in any World or State by meditation on Freedom in
Freedom by the "Neither-Neither."

For this we know- Vampirism is quite well proven enough- even by the
strong presumption that whenever blood-sucking is done, it is done by
Vampire bats apart from the probability of it being done by a divine or
human agency!

Therefore Kiaize desire by the "Neither-Neither," the most excellent
formula far beyond contentment- the all-embracing vacuum which reduces
"all" to common sense and upon which this Universe rests.

Therefore believe nothing in this Book by the "Neither-Neither," and
dispel the conception of the "Neither-Neither" by the "Neither-Neither,"
and belive it is "not-necessary" or the conclusion of pleasing yourself,
because it "Need-not-be-Does-not-matter."

One believes this "all the time" as the Truth of "The Will" not the
thing believed, since the means to an end mean evolution to endless
means.

In that most remarkable simplicity there is no beginning or end of
wisdom or of anything, so how can it be related to conception and
intelligence?

SELF-LOVE AS A MORAL DOCTRINE AND VIRTUE.

The criterion of action, is freedom of movement, timeliness of
expression, pleasuring. The value of a moral doctrine is in its freedom
for transgression. Simplicity I hold most precious. Are not the most
simple things in the world the most perfect, pure, innocent, and their
properties the most wonderful? Hence it is the source of wisdom. Wisdom
is exactly happiness. In love pleasuring myself necessarily without
excuse. Is this not perfection? Actions would appear unfathomable and
incomprehensible, did they exhibit conformity to the great purpose.
There are few who can attain to this! Who has no shame? Ecstasy in
satisfaction is the great purpose. Freedom from the necessity of law,
realisation by the very wish, is the ultimate goal. Law depends on two,
two is uberty, millions  .  .  .  .  Law is complicated. The second did
not agitate, the first did not determine, nor was it compelled or
proffered. Chance in sport is not prophecy; by it we have gained
proficiency, sufficient to deter mine.  .  .  .  .  Prepare for the
Eternal, revert to simplicity and you are free. What man can give
without impulse? Only he who has complete sexuality. The highest
goodness is self-nourishment. What are we going to include as self?
Perfect charity acquires, hence it benefits all things by not giving.
What man can have faith without fear? Only he who has no duty to
perform. When faith perishes duty to moral doctrines perishes, we are
without sin and endure for ever in all-d evouring love. What man can
know with certainty? Only he who has effaced the necessity of learning.
When teachers fall out, what is the use of learning from them? The wise
are not contentious and have no dogma to expound  .  .  .  .  rather are
they silent as a new-born babe in feeding. What teacher can show the
source of wisdom? It is because I know without learning; I know the
source and can convey lessons without teaching. Knowledge is but the
excrement of experience: experience its own repetition. The true teacher
implants no kno wledge but shows him his own supe rabundance. Keeping
his vision clear he directs or leads him as a child to the essential.
Having shown him the source of wisdom, he retires before gratitude or
sentiment sets in, leaving him to fertilize as he wishes. Is not this
the way of Heaven? He who trusts to his natural fund of genius, has no
knowledge of its extent and accomplishes with ease, but directly he
doubts, ignorance obsesses him. Doubt fertilizes in the virgin soil. He
is no longer fearless but a coward to difficulties, his very learning i
s fear. The difference between genius and ignorance is a degree of fear.
The beginning of wisdom is fear of forethought the reception of
knowledge in learning. Children doubt, and abhor learning. Why, even the
affection of courage results in cleverness! The difference between good
and evil is a matter of profundity. Which is nearer you, self-love and
its immorality or love and morals? Not conscious of desert the compeer
of Heaven, and c onstant happiness in wisdom is the capacity of
direction. From self-glor ification, from self-exaltation we rise
superior to the incapacity of disquieting fear: the ridiculer to
destruction of humility in repentance. This "self-love" that does not
give but is glad to receive is the genuine opportunity for freedom from
covetousness, from the militant amusement of Heaven. He who subordinates
animal instincts to reason, quickly loses control. Are not the animals
we see in circuses trained by torture? And do not the animals reared in
love, slay their master ? The wise embraces and no urishes all things,
but does not act as master. Only when passions are ruled by foreign
environment are they dangers. Control is by leaving things to work out
their own salvation- directly we interfere we become identified with and
subject to their desire. When the Ego sees self-love- there is peace it
becomes the seer. Directly we desire, we have lost all; "we are" what we
desire, therefore we never obtain. Desire nothing, and there is nothing
that you sh all not realise. Desire is for completion, the inhe rent
emotion that it is "all happiness," all wisdom, in constant harmony. But
directly we believe, we are liars- and become identified with pain, yet
pain and pleasure are one and the same. Therefore believe nothing, and
you will have reverted to a simplicity which childhood has not yet
attained. The fool asks how? as we must believe in pleasure and pain.
Now if we could suffer them simultaneously (pain and pleasure) and hold
fast to a princip le that ascends, that allows the Ego vibration above
them, shoul d we not have reached the ecstasy? Now the belief is the
"Ego," yet separates it from Heaven as your body separates you from
another's.   .   .   .   .   Therefore by retaining the belief in the
"not necessity" (when conceiving), the Ego is free. The emotion of
laughter is exhaustion, the early suffering hence by making this emotion
a "mental state" at the time of unity* he unites pain and pleasure,
suffers them simultaneously and by the "not necessity" of his belief,
his conception transcends t his world an d reaches the absolute ecstasy.
There is no place where pain or death can enter.

* Of Sex, indeed of everything.

The idea of God is the primordial sin, all religions are evil. Self-love
is its own law, which may be broken with impunity, being the only energy
that is not servile, serving its ever-ready purpose. Surely it is all
that is left us that has no sin and is free? Verily, it is the only
thing we dare be conscious of. He that truly pleases himself is wihout
virtue, and  shall satisfy all men. Hate, jealousy, murder, etc., are
conditions of love, even as virtue, greed, selfishness, suicide, etc.,
are conditions o r not pleasing ones's self. There is no sin more
sickening than love, for it is the very essence of covetousness and the
mother of all sin, hence it has the most devotees. Self-love only is
pure and without a congregation.

He that entirely loves himself induces self-love only. In this he is
 inexorable, but does not offend like other men. He is akin to the great
 purpose, his actions explained for him, good seen of his evil, without
 knowing, everyone satisfied with his will. Do not Heaven and Earth
 unite daily in spontaneous homage to this will of self-love? No man can
 show greater self-love, than by giving up all he believes. Why do I
 value this self-love before all else? Is it not because I may be free
 to believe in evil, but have no thought that anything can do me injury?
 All is self-love, the people of the world, if they only knew, are its
 devotees. My new law is the great clue to life. If the world could
 understand this, the rotten fabric discarded, they would diligently
 follow the way in their own hearts, there would be no further desire
 for unity.  .  .  .  .  Try and imagine what that implies.

May the idea of God perish and with it women: have they not both made me
appear clownish? Let there be no mistake, purity and innocence is
simplicity, happiness is wisdom. What is simple has no duality.

THE DOCTRINE OF ETERNAL SELF-LOVE.

Now self-love is explained. It is the completion of belief. The "self"
is the "Neither-Neither," nothing omitted, indissoluble, beyond
prepossession; dissociation of conception by its own invincible love is
the only true, safe, and free. The desire, will, and belief ceasing to
exist as separate. Attraction, repulsion, and control self contained,
they become the original unity, inert in pleasure. There is no duality.
There is no desire for unity. At that time, it (the dual principle)
rests in its unmodified state. The belief no longer subject to
conception by conceiving "self" as such by loving. At other times,
it*(1) creates a centre, becomes its environment, identified with its
ramifications, conception created, subjection to law and the insatiable
desire for unity, inasmuch as the duality is unity. Servitude to law is
the hatred of Heaven. Self-love only is the eternal all pleasing, by
meditation on this effulgent self which is mystic joyousness. At that
time of bliss, he is punctual to his imagination, in that day what
happiness is his! A lusty innocent, beyond sin, without hurt! Balanced
by an emotion, a refraction of his ecstasy is all that he is conscious
of as external.*(2) His vacuity causes double refraction, "He," the
self-effulgent lightens in the Ego. Beyond law and the guest at the
"Feast of the Supersensualists."*(3) He has power over life and
death.*(4) Save by this, he is not beyond self-reproach, verily he has
loosed all the trouble of the wo rld, the murder from the lightning.
Self-love prevent ing the mind from concentration, is identity without
form, is no thought as such; law and external influences contained, do
not affect. When that giving up all belief, reflects only its meaning,
then is there purity of vision, innocence of touch, ergo, self-love.
Verily, verily men are born, suffer and die through their belief.
Ejaculation is death. Self-love is preservation and life.

*(1) It the "Neither-Neither" emanates tetragrammaton of relatives, the
sexes of which are evolved through their cruciform reflection and are
elusive to identity. In their XXXX they produce unity XXXXX XXXXX
conception. Ego generating by subdivision they embrace eternity, in
their manifold ramifications is law.

*(2) i.e. his rainbow.

*(3) Chapter on self-attraction omitted.

*(4) This is the test. The one who doubt would naturally submit himself.

Man to invoke pleasure in his choice, subtracts from desire, his desire
is partial desire, becomes sub-duple (conflict), never is his energy
full. Having no true focus, he is deceived in his strength and attains a
pure measure of pleasure from his body. In success how heavy is his
sentence! Pleasure becomes the illusion. Through dire necessity, "his
means," he is bound to its cause and effect, and becomes a holcaust  on
the pyre of sentiment. This self-love is the only full energy, all else
a wrapping of di ssatisfaction, the hypothesis of desires which
obscures.

Man in the misery of his illusions and unsatisfied desires, wings his
flight to different religions, and doctrines, seeks redeception, a
hypnotic, a palliative from which he suffers fresh miseries in
exhaustion. The terms of the cure are new illusions, greater
entanglement, more stagnant environment.

Having studied all ways and means to pleasure and pondered over them
well again and again, this self-love has been found by me to be the only
free, true and full one, nothing more sane, pure, and complete. There is
no deceit: when by this all experience certainly is known, everything
sublimely beautiful and exceedingly amiable: where is the necessity of
other means? Like the drink to the drunkard everything should be
sacrificed for it. This Self-love is now declared by me the means of
evolving millions of i deas for pleasure without love, or its synonyms-
self-reproach, sickness, old-age, and death. The Symposium of self and
love. O! Wise Man, Please Thyself.

THE COMPLETE RITUAL AND DOCTRINE OF MAGIC

Ecstasy in Self-love the Obsession

My dearest, I will now explain the only safe and true formula, the
destroyer of the darkness of the World, the most secret among all
secrets. Let it be secret to him who would attain. Let it cover any
period of time, depending on his conception. There is no
qualification*(1), nor ritual or ceremony. His very existence
symbolising all that is necessary to perfection. Most emphatically,
there is no need of repetition or feeble imitation. You are alive!

Magic, the reduction of properties to simplicity, making them
transmutable to utilise them afresh by direction, without
capitalization, bearing fruit many times. Know deliberation, over
consciousness and concentration to be its resistance and sycophancy, the
ultimate acquirement of idiotcy. Whether for his own pleasure or power,
the fulfilment of desire is his purpose, he would terminate this by
magic. Let him wait for a desire analogous in intensity*(2), he then
sacrifices this desire (or its fulfilment) t o the initial desire, by
this it becomes organic, the quantum. He has not attained freedom from
law* (3). Hence let him wait for a belief to be subtracted, that period
when disillusionment has taken place*(4). Verily disappointment is his
chance. "This free entity of belief" and his desire are united to his
purpose by the use of Sigils or sacred letters. By projecting the
consciousness into one part, sensation not being manifold, becomes
intensified. By the abste ntion of desire, except in the object, this i
s attained (at the psychological time this determines itself).

By non-resistance (involuntary thought and action), worry and
apprehension of non-fulfilment, being transient, find no permanent
abode: he desires everything. Anxiety defeats the purpose, it retains
and exposes the desire. Conscious desire is non-attractive. The mind
quiet and focussed, undisturbed by external images does not distort the
sense impressions (there is no hallucination; it would end in
imaginative fulfilment), but magnifies the existing desire, and joins it
to the object in secret.

*(1) The means being simpicity, he is comparitively free to make his own
qualifications and difficulties, i.e., many retirements are absurd and
at once prove his incapacity, the non existence of what he sets about to
prove. He at once sets his limit and servility.

*(2) Just a natural desire.

*(3) This is a short formula for those whose belief is full in the law,
are house holders following their desires. The formula holds good for
any purpose.

*(4) Illustration, the loss of faith in a friend, or an union that did
not fulfill expectations.

Casting the Shadow.

The Ego not being totally oblivious, let him retain only and visualise
the Sigil form, it is his chalice, the means of vacuity and incarnation.
By the deliberation of an analogous emotion at that time, he deputises
the law (reaction). Miraculous is he, balance not known in this world
imitated (attained). All other consciousness annulled with safety, the
vehicle strong enough for the ecstasy, he is beyond hurt. Now let him
imagine an union takes place between himself (the mystic union of the
Ego and Absolute ). The nectar emitted, let him drink slowly, again and
again*(1). After this astonishing experience his passion is
incomparable, there is nothing in the world he will desire: unless he
wills. That is why people do not understand me. The ecstasy in its
emotion is omnigenous. Know it as the nectar of life, the Syllubub of
Sun and Moon. Verily he steals the fire from Heaven: the greatest act of
bravery in the world. Deliberation egotized, except in the
refraction*(2) of the ecstasy, is exposur e and death, beco ming a
presiding obsession, control having been given to a prior experience and
is over-conscious of that through it momentarily finding freedom from
its native law; thus generating double personality (Insanity).

*(1) If it becomes physical, let him imagine another's body, he has that
sigil or its emergency. This, although not his original purpose, he will
and exceedingly amiable.

*(2) Laughter in this case.

By these means there is no desire beyond fulfilment, no accomplishment
too wonderful, depending on the amount of free belief*(3).

*(3) It may be done by localizing desire to one sense, hence by this
formula using the ear as the vehicle, one hears the most transcendental
music ever conceived, being the voices and harmony of every conceivable
animal and human existence and so with each sense.

Men of small pleasure and enterprise, oblivious of your purpose,
fault-finding, avaricious, sinful, who cannot live without women or
enjoy without pain, fearsome, inconstant, diseased, and withered,
dependent, cruel, deceived, and liars, the worst of men! Know, Oh, Lord,
Oh beloved Self, I have now told you of that most secret tavern where
passion goes when youth has gone, where any man may drink of the nectar
of all-beneficent and gratuitous ecstasy. The most pleasurable
nourishment that harms no one.

NOTE ON THE DIFFERENCE OF MAGICAL OBSESSION (GENIUS) AND INSANITY.

MAGICAL obsession is that state when the mind is illuminated by
sub-conscious activity evoked voluntarily by formula at our own time,
etc., for inspiration. It is the condition of Genius.

Other obsession is the "blind leading the blind," caused by quietism,
known as mediumism, an opening out of the Ego to (what is called) any
external influence, elementals, or disembodied energy. A transmutated
consciousness that is a resistance to "true" sub-conscious activity, it
being a voluntary insanity, a somnambulation of the Ego with "no form"
or control to guide it: hence its emanations are stupid in suggestion,
or memories of childhood.

Obsession known as or related to insanity is an experience that is
dissociated from the personality (Ego) through some sort of rejection.
It is sub-crystalline, and cannot become permanently attached to the
sub-consciousness, not having exhausted or completed itself by
realisation. Depending on its degree of intensity and resistance shown
at some time or another, the Ego has or has not knowledge of the
obsession; always is its expression autonomous, divorced from personal
control, power of direction and tim ing. Concentration determines
dissociation. Enthusiasm for one object seeking completion by
identification, sacrifices all else, or deliberately forgets. Its
separation from the Ego (it becoming equal, or more in bulk than the
rest of the consciousness, causes subdivision or "double personality"),
is caused by its own intensity or by shock of resistance determined by
some incompatibility of the desired or desire.

Concentration is dissatisfied desire, a conflict that can never be
satisfied, because of its means. When the Ego, not appearing to have or
not knowing the means of fulfilment, seeks its repudiation, repression,
imaginative fulfilment, or transmutation to escape its worry. None of
these is the desire's or obsession's annihilation, but its separation or
concealment from the rest of the Ego, its premature sub-conscious
existence. It is held there only when some form of resistance is active,
when resistance is dormant- control is given to the presiding obsession,
allowing its incarnation in, and swamping of the Ego, which has to live
and perform its emotional experience. Disease and Insanity (all disease
is insanity) is caused when the disembodied energy has no vital
function. It is this energy which is utilised for the vitalization of
Sigils.

SIGILS.

The Psychology of Believing.

If the "supreme belief" remains unknown, believing is fruitless. If "the
truth" has not yet been ascertained, the study of knowledge is
unproductive. Even if "they" were known their study is useless. We are
not the object by the perception, but by becoming it. Closing the
gateways of sense is no help. Verily I will make common-sense the
foundation of my teaching. Otherwise, how can I convey my meaning to the
deaf, vision to the blind, and my emotion to the dead? In a labyrinth of
metaphor and words, intuiti on is lost, therefore without their effort
must be learned the truth about one's self from him who alone knows the
truth  .   .   .   .  yourself.

Of what use the wisdom of Virginity to him who has been raped by the
seducer, ignorance? Of what use sciences or any knowledge except as
medicine? Hidden treasure does not come at the word nor by digging with
your hands in the main road. Even with the proper implements and
accurate knowledge of place, etc., may be but the acquisition of what
you possessed long ago. There is a great doubt as to whether it is
hidden, except by the strata of your experience and atmospheres of your
belief.

The pertinent question now proposed  by "Thee" should be asked by those
desirous of some measure of genius. My answer like the mighty germ is in
agreement with the universe, simple and full of deep import and for a
time extremely objectionable to your ideas of good and beauty. Listen,
attentively, O! Aspirant, all agog for information, to my answer, for by
living the meaning thou shalt truly be freed from the bondage of
constitutional ignorance. Thou must live it thyself; I cannot live it
for thee.

The chief cause of genius is realization or "I" by an emotion that
allows the lightning assimilation of what is perceived. This emotion is
immoral in that it allows free association of knowledge without the
accessories of belief. Its condition is, therefore, ignorance of "I am"
and "I am not" with absent-mindedness as believing. Its most excellent
state is the "Neither-Neither," the free or atmospheric "I."

You remember in your youth the thought "that this world is a curious
place" in the emotion when you felt "why" as to whether this life is a
reasonable development? What was the cause of this and of your summarily
dismissing it from your mind? Again the feeling that the most
commonplace object is magnificently strange and the vague emotion of
co-relation between the incompatible (exhaustive arguments often see
this, but always excuse it); the curiosity and shock with a more
intimate association with the wond ers of creation. What is it that
prevents you following investigation into "what exactly is surprise,"
etc.? What is the cause of your believing more in God than a dog-fight?
Yet you fear dogs more than God! Where is the difference between
yourself choked with disquieting piety, and the innocence of a babe?
Perhaps in these is the cause of ignorance.

Belief is the fall from the Absolute. What are you going to believe?
Truth seeks its own negation. Different aspects are not the truth, nor
are they necessary to truth. Of its emanations which are you to strangle
at birth? Are you illegitimate? You believe in right and wrong- what
punishment will you determine? Can you escape the driving "Must"? Who
can escape boredom- without change? Who remain single and content! What
man among you is large and free enough to encompass his "self"? Your
belief obfuscates l ineage. Ambition is smallness- your customed
environment. Remember, time is an unstudied imagination of the
experienced. What may be called the early experience was its completion,
so of learning there is no finis. What you learn to-morrow is determined
by what you have done- the accomplished lesson of yesterday. Never
learning to-day what you can do to-morrow is called loss, but is theft
from time, wholesomeness and rejuvenescence. Repeat this delay again and
again till you arrive at sp ontaneity, chance in safety. The pursuit of
learning (believing) is the grotesque incubator of stupidity.

If you could truly believe, we should realise the virtue of it. We are
not free to believe  .  .  .  .  however much we so desire, having
conflicting ideas to first exhaust. Sigils are the art of believing; my
invention for making belief organic, ergo, true belief.

When by the wish to believe- it is of the necessity incompatible with an
existing belief and is not realized through the inhibition of the
organic belief- the negation of the wish, faith moves no mountains, not
till it has removed itself. Supposing I wish to be great (is not
counting that I am), to have "faith" and believe that I am, does not
make me great- even were I to keep up the pretence to the end  .  .  .
.  it being ceremonial insincerity, the affirmation of my incapacity. I
am incapable, because t hat is the true belief, and organic. To believe
differently is but affectation. Therefore the imagination or "faith"
that I am great, is a superficial belief. The reaction and denial,
caused by the troublesome effervescence of the organic incapacity.
Denial or faith does not change or annihilate it, but is its
reinforcement and preservation. Therefore belief, to be true, must be
organic and sub-conscious. The desire to be great can only become
organic at a time of vacuity, and by giv ing it (Sigil) form. Whe n
conscious of the Sigil form (any time but the Magical) it should be
repressed, a deliberate striving to forget it, by this it is active and
dominates at the unconscious period, its form nourishes and allows it to
become attached to the sub-consciousness and become organic, that
accomplished, is its reality and realization. He becomes his concept of
greatness.

So belief becomes true and vital by striving against it in consciousness
and by giving it form. Not by the striving of faith. Belief exhausts
itself by confession and non-resistance, i.e., consciousness. Believe
not to believe, and in degree you will obtain its existence. Timeliness
depending on your morality, give to the poor. If the ambitious only knew
it is as difficult to become incapable as it is to become great. They
are mutual as accomplishments and equally satisfying.

THE SUB-CONSCIOUSNESS.

ALL geniuses have active sub-consciousness, and the less they are aware
of the fact, the greater their accomplishments. The sub-consciousness is
exploited by desire reaching it. So consciousness should not contain the
"great" desire once the Ego has wished: and should be filled with an
affected ambition for something different, not vice-versa, the
inevitable penalty of cowardice lurking somewhere: surely not an
inglorious deceit? Genius, like heroism, is a matter of bravery- you
have to forget fear, or inca pacity somehow  .  .  .  .  hence its
expression is always spontaneous. How simple it is to acquire genius-
you know the means; who will take the plunge? The learning of "How" is
the eternal "Why"- unanswered! A genius is such, because he does not
know how or why.

The Storehouse of Memories with an Ever-Open Door.

Know the sub-consciousness to be an epitome of all experience and
wisdom, past incarnations as men, animals, birds, vegetable life, etc.,
etc., everything that exists, has and ever will exist. Each being a
stratum in the order of evolution. Naturally then, the lower we probe
into these strata, the earlier will be the forms of life we arrive at;
the last is the Almighty Simplicity. And if we succeed in awakening
them, we shall gain their properties, and our accomplishment will
correspond. They being experien ces long passed, must be evoked by
extremely vague suggestion, which can only operate when the mind is
unusually quiet or simple. To have their wisdom does not mean the
necessity of their bodies- the body modifies in relation to "means" (we
travel faster than the hunting leopard, but do not have its body), when
it is the means it changes accordingly. Now, if we observe Nature, the
early forms of life are wonderful in their properties, adaptablility,
etc; their strength enormo us, and some are indestructible.

 No matter what the desire is, it always is its accomplishment. A
microbe has the power to destroy the world (and certainly would if it
took an interest in us). If you were to dismember its limb, the
mutilated part would regrow, etc. So by evoking and becoming obsessed or
illuminated by these existences, we gain their magical properties, or
the knowledge of their attainment. This is what already happens
(everything happens at all times) though exceedingly slowly; in striving
for knowledge we repel it, the m ind works best on a simple diet.

The Key to Prophecy.

The law of Evolution is retrogression of function governing progression
of attainment, i.e., the more wonderful our attainments, the lower in
the scale of life that governs them. Our knowledge of flight is
determined by that desire causing the activity of our bird etc. Karmas.
Directly our desire reaches the stratum belonginging to those existences
that can "fly" without wings- so shall we fly without machines. This
sub-conscious activity is the "capacity," the "knowledge"; all other we
acquire is of a nega tive or manurial value. The virtue of learning and
acquiring knowledge by the ordinary means is in its worry and
disappointment, of that degree which causes exhaustion: by that the
desire might accidentally reach the real abode of knowledge, i.e., the
sub-consciousness. Inspiration is always at a void moment, and most
great discoveries accidental, usually brought about by exhaustion of the
mind. My formula and Sigils for sub-conscious activity are the means of
inspiration, capacity or g enius, and the means of accelerating
evolution. An economy of energy and method of learning by enjoyment. A
bat first grew wings and of the proper kind, by its desire being organic
enough to reach the sub-consciousness. If its desire to fly had been
conscious, it would have had to wait till it could have done so by the
same means as ourselves, i.e., by machinery. All genius has an
hypothesis (usually natural) in the form of  a hobby, which serves to
restrain and occupy the conscio us mind, to prevent its interference
with sponta neous expression. The great Leonardo's mathematics, etc.,
served to "Deceive" him as such an hypothesis (and as Sigils). Our lives
are full of the Symbolism of those predominating Karmas we are governed
by. All ornament, useless dress, etc., are such (they please people
because they feel the identification), and the means of locating them
(Karmas). The symbolism of crowning a man King, is that he, resembling
God (on earth), has reached the lowest strata of his sub-consciousness
(those one-cell o rganisms if you like), which predominate as governing
his functions. (Of course, those crowned Kings are never such, they
symbolise the "hope," not the reality.) Hence the floral nature of and
precious stones in design of the crown relate to first principles. He is
King who has reached the dual principle in its simplicity, the first
experience which is all experience  .  .  .  .  he has no need of crowns
and kingdoms.

By Sigils and the acquirement of vacuity, any past incarnation,
experience, etc., can be summoned to consciousness. It may even happen
in sleep in the form of dreams, but this means is very difficult.
(Chapters on day and night dreaming for pleasure omitted.)

Total vacuity is difficult and unsafe for those governed by morality,
complexes, i.e., whose belief is not entirely self-love. Hence this
desideratum of Sigils, etc.

Know all ritual, ceremony, conditions, as arbitrary (you have yourself
to please), a hindrance and confusion; their origin was for amusement,
later for the purpose of deceiving other from knowing the truth and
inducing ignorance; and as always happens their high priests were the
more deceived themselves. He who deceives another deceives himself much
more. Therefore know the Charlatans by their love of rich robes,
ceremony, ritual, magical retirements, absurd conditions, and other
stupidity, too numerous to relate. Their entire doctrine a boastful
display, a cowardice hungering for notoriety; their standard everything
unnecessary, their certain failure assured. Hence it is that those with
some natural ability quickly lose it by their teaching. They can only
dogmatise, implant and multiply that which is entirely superficial. Were
I a teacher I should not act as master, as knowing more, the pupil could
lay no claim to discipleship. Assimilating slowly, he would not be
conscious of his learning, he would not repe at the vital mistake;
without fear he would accomplish with ease. The only teaching possible
is to show a man how to learn from his own wisdom, and to utilise his
ignorance and mistakes. Not by obscuring his vision and intention by
righteousness.

SIGILS. BELIEF WITH PROTECTION.

Magickal Obsession.

I will now explain their creation and use; there is no difficulty about
it, how pure and clear it all is*(1). Out of love for my foolish
devotees I invented it. All desire, whether for Pleasure, Knowledge, or
Power, that cannot find "Natural" expression, can by Sigils and their
formula find fulfilment from the sub-consciousness. Sigils are the means
of guiding and uniting the partially free belief*(2) with an organic
desire, its carriage and retention till its purpose served in the
sub-conscious self, and i ts means of reincarnation in the Ego. All
thought can be expressed by form in true relation. Sigils are monograms
of thought, for the government of energy (all heraldry, crests,
monograms, are Sigils and the Karmas they govern), relating to Karma; a
mathematical means of symbolising desire and giving it form that has the
virtue of preventing any thought and association on that particular
desire (at the magical time), escaping the detection of the Ego, so that
it does not restrain o r attach such desire to it s own transitory
images, memories and worries, but allows it free passage to the
sub-consciousness.

*(1) By this system, you know exactly what (you believe) your Sigil must
relate to. If you used any form stupidly, you might possibly "conjure
up" exactly what you did not want- the mother of insanity, or what
always happens then, nothing at all. This being the only system, any
result other than by it is accidental. Also you do not have to dress up
as a traditional magician, wizard or priest, build expensive temples,
obtain virgin parchment, black goat's blood, etc., etc., in fact no
theatricals or humbug.

*(2) Free belief or energy, i.e., a disappointed desire, not yet an
obsession.

Sigils are made by combining the letters of the alphabet simplified.
Illustration*(3), the word "Woman" in Sigil form is (example) or
(example) or (example) etc. The word tiger (example) or (example) etc.,
etc. The idea being to obtain a simple form which can be easily
visualised at will, and has not too much pictorial relation to the
desire. The true method has a much greater virtue, which cannot be
explained briefly, being the secret of thought form, as degrees of
suggestion, and what exactly is in a name

. We have now agreed as to how a Sigil is made, and what virtue it has.
Verily, what a person believes by Sigils, is the truth, and is always
fulfilled. This system of Sigils is believed by taking it up as a hobby
at a time of great disappointment or sorrow. By Sigils I have endowed
fools with wisdom, made the wise fools, giving health to the sick and
weak, disease to the strong, etc. Now, if for some purpose, you wanted
the strength of a tiger- you would make a sentence such as:- "This my
wish to obtain th e strength of a tiger." (Message from person who typed
up this file: In constructing the sentence of desire, beginning with
"This my will," has been said by some to be more efficacious.) Sigilized
this would be:-

This my wish (illustrative example of this part of the sentence)

To obtain (ditto)

The strength of a Tiger (same as said above)

Combined as one Sigil (example) or (more simplified example).

*(3) There are six methods of Sigils employed in this book, each
corresponding to different strata. The one shown here is illustrative
and the fundamental idea of them all, from which anyone can evolve his
own system. Conditions, etc., or necessity subsequently evolve
themselves. Also a person has more power of creation and originality
with a limited means of expression.

Now by virtue of this Sigil you are able to send your desire into the
subconsciousness (which contains all strength); that having happened, it
is the desire's realization by the manifestation of the knowledge or
power necessary.

First, all consciousness except of the Sigil has to be annulled; do not
confuse this with concentration- you simply conceive the Sigil any
moment you begin to think. Vacuity* is obtained by exhausting the mind
and body by some means or another. A personal or traditional means
serves equally well, depending on temperament; choose the most pleasant;
these should be held in favour, Mantras and Posture, Women and Wine,
Tennis, and the playing of Patience, or by walking and concentration on
the Sigil, etc., etc.

 None is necessary to him who has (even symbolically) for a moment by
the "Neither-Neither" conquered the dual principle (Conception), his Ego
is free from gravity. If the Sigil is made an obsession by continual
apprehension, its realization may happen at any moment, in the form of
inspiration. This is done by reverting the mind to the Sigil when one is
extremely worried- the time of exhaustion is the time of fulfilment. At
the time of exhaustion or vacuity, retain only and visualize the Sigil
form- eventua lly it becomes vague, then vanishes and success is
assured. by the Ego conceiving only the Sigil, and not being able to
conceive anything from it, all energy is focussed through it, the desire
for identification carries it to the corresponding sub-conscious
stratum, its destination. The Sigil being a vehicle, serves the purpose
of protecting consciousness from the direct manifestation of the
(consciously unacknowledged) obsession, conflict is avoided with any
incompatible ideas and neither gai ns separate pe rsonality. It (the
obsession) is either gradually assimilated and becomes organic or
returns to its original abode, its purpose of illumination served. Hence
the mind, by Sigils, depending upon the intensity of desire, is
illuminated or obsessed (knowledge or power) from that particular Karma
(the sub-conscious stratum, a particular existence and knowledge gained
by it) relative to the desire, but not from memory or experience which
was recent. Knowledge is obtained by the sensation, resulting from the
unit y of the desire and Karma. Power, by its "actual" vitalization and
resurrection.

* This is not the passivity of mediumism which opens the mind to what is
called external influence- disembodied energy usually having no better
purpose than to rap-tables. There are many means of attaining this state
of vacuity: I mention the most simple, there is no need for crucifixion.
Drugs are useless. Smoking and laziness the more difficult.

This knowledge leaves its stratum in company with the energy or desire
returning to the Ego. It escapes the Ego's resistance by associating
with similar images, memories, or experiences relative (recieved in this
life), that the mind contains, and crystalizes itself by their
symbolism. Hence most illumination is symbolic, and must be subsequently
translated.

(Chapters on Symbolism, Automatic Drawing As Means To Art, & Note on
Sacred Letters omitted.)

ON MYSELF.

Conceiving, thou hast given no sign of life. In claiming thee, a labour
of creating value, is nothing worth holding, nothing satisfying; the
realization of thy inhibition all? By self-effacement would seem
reality. This self, how empty! how prolific of incompleteness! In
self-denial its stimulation to simulate reality  .  .  .  .  more and
more comes out- these ugly mists of illusion are parental, the cause of
Heaven's hatred! That is why I fear to believe in God, subordination to
an attribute, an idea of S elf is not freedom of love! Probably Almighty
is he who is unconscious of the idea of God. Now may the fierceness of
my unity be "Thy" silence and for me no longer a query or labour to
espouse my doubt. Yet mankind for ever doubts, quirks, and for every
pleasure pays, till he becomes millionary: the punishment shall fit the
appraisement of his capitalization, there is that fear! The rich in
dross, to cheat his conscience, affects humility, speaks of himself as
"poor," his possessi ons as "burdens," or of "sm all account"! Of what
consolation the truth in the day of weary waiting and watching, the
restless striving, the imprisonment, the rack, the horrors of every
conceivable torture? When he becomes accustomed, loses reality, and no
longer deterred, will he then create God and miseries afresh? Oh, folly
of the world, deny thy faith, renounce this Bloody-Sceptred God and
confess. The completion of folly is the beginning of childhood, but of
knowledge there is no e nd. It was the straying that found the path
direc t. From childhood, I have never denied my invincible purpose. Oh,
silent watcher, thou sleepless eye of the Universe, watch over the
beginning of all my ideas. The misery of the world would seem eternal,
whilst I, in the midst, like an infant not yet smiling, am impervious in
purity (of self-love) but I dare not claim its service! I am in eternal
want of realization, poor though I be, my contentment is beyond your
understanding. An opinionist, I fear to advocate an argument, or
compromise myself by be lievin g my own doctrines as such  .  .  .  .
may they ever be their own expurgers! Fearsome of knowledge, may my
belief be its emptiness, yea, ignorance! From my daring to believe
religions, doctrines, creeds, so shall I hold the jewel of truth. So
cautios am I, simultaneously do I deny that which I affirm, and hold
fast to the "not-necessity," by paradox superseded, without antecedent,
spontaneous, I revert to the Absolute, watch my intoxication and
control- the reaction of Karma. How easy is the Way, it would seem as
though nothing should be said but all unsaid! May my words be few and
pregnant! Alas, the futility of the idea of God has not yet reached its
limit, all men liars, appear striving for insanity as its climax: while
I alone as one prematurely aged, reason tottering on its throne, remain
sane, in positive chastity, confessing no conscience, no morals- a
virgin in singleness of purpose.