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Evil Genius list of High-Tech Practical Joke Ideas.
EVIL GENIUS LIST OF HI-TECH PRACTICAL JOKE IDEAS
WILLIAM J. BEATY
(convenient proof that everything in WEIRD SCIENCE must ALSO be a hoax,
I've neither built nor prototyped any of the following devices. Some are
hazardous and should not be built or operated. Others can be misused. This list
is for your information only. If you choose to build any of these, you do so
entirely at your own risk.
Yahoo: Practical Jokes
Carve computer-generated ripples in the surface of a main highway, and when
vehicles pass over the surface, mysterious voices whisper, and distant music
plays. Two ripple-tracks, one for each tire, should give stereo sound. Is
this already being done? "Vote for Rush" "Drink Pepsi" "The BATF is your
Broken UFO parts
Embed numerous "repulsor" coils and a power supply in a small, fake UFO
crash remenant, so that small independant segments of the object hang
unsupported in the air nearby, via the battery-powered "Meissner effect"
generator. (independant segments must be magnets, of course) Take it to a
mainstream researcher, but don't let them look at it in detail. Visions of
alien room-temp superconductors should haunt the person forever after.
"Stink Beam" projector
A hollow-ended cylinder is attached to a bass loudspeaker. The open end of
the cylinder is covered with a flat plate, and a 3in. hole is put in this
plate. When a pulse is applied to the speaker, an invisible ring-vortex or
"smoke ring" of air will be launched. Pulses can be repetitive so a
continuous beam of vortices is projected. Pulse waveform can be tailored to
produce robust, fast, silent vortices. Each vortex incorporates air from
within the cylinder, and carries this air along as it travels. If a scent is
placed in the cylinder, you have a "stink gun" which can target a distant
nose without being intercepted by others, or can surround a distant object
with any desired scent. If specific gases are added, then when the "stink
beam" encounters a distant source of ignition, such as a cigarette, the
vortices (and maybe the launcher device!) will explode. A computer, video
grabber, IR camera, and some stepper motors could be assembled into a
cigarette-targeting acetylene launcher. No Smoking!
If a sharp point is attached to the dome of a VandeGraaff generator, the
point will spew charged wind. If you stand in this air stream, it will
charged your clothing and hair, which will start clinging to your body.
Ewwww!, feels like you've been dipped in vegetable oil. So, bolt a VDG
upside-down within the ceiling, with ion-needles pointing downwards, and a
"stand here" sign on the floor below. (only works in low humidity, the lower
"Free energy" hoax
Fake device is composed of complex structures and materials, a tiny
battery-powered spark generator, and at a distance, a hidden, "stink beam
projector device" rigged for acetylene. The projector shoots gas pulses
which cause occasional loud and unexplained explosions within the device. If
both an ion projector and an acetylene launcher are used, it may even be
possible to create distant sparks and explosions in a distant device having
no power supply at all!
Use my whitelight abrasion hologram method to encode an image of Elvis or
other religious icon holographically into an everday surface, (car hood?)
announce the miracle, charge admission, and even befuddle the experts who
come to debunk it. Impossible!, a real hologram, but encoded into a crude
Roadside Kilovoltage Source.
Build a sturdy VandeGraaff generator into a metal and plastic column, with a
handcrank on the top metal terminal and a large label saying "TURN." When
the crank and stepup gearing is turned, the generator operates. Place it
outdoors, and surround it with a thick plastic insulating plate. Anyone who
cranks it will feel a prickling sensation, their hair will stand up, and the
next person they touch will get a static zap. Better still: win the lottery
and have thousands of them built and distributed around the country
unannounced. Permanent Infamy!
4-Lane dot matrix printer
A truck-mounted device spits a row of paint dots under computer control.
Drive along the Interstate while printing out political diatribe. Use water
instead of paint for temporary, less illegal road gibberish. Colored dyes
would work well on packed snowy roads (a little carbon or flourescene dye
goes a long way.) Rent out ad space in fields near airports, then do your
printing in seeds for variously colored crops. Transport one of these
devices between widely-separated power boats for the seaborne version.
Electrostatically shoot charged copier toner from lunar orbit for a more
Ed Harris on usa-tesla has discovered that argon gas lets you make a large
'plasma globe' effect at ambient pressure. Build a battery-powered Tesla
Coil, clip it to your belt, and run a wire out to an argon-filled mylar
sphere. When turned on, the tip of the wire will grow a large blazing white
ball of lightning filaments. Run screaming through the night, chased by a
ball-lightning in a hardly-noticable clear bag. Charred, smoking clothes
would be good too. Ahhhhhh! It's biting meeee!
Build a Borg
The psychologist ????? discovered a strange group-organism he dubbed the
Cyranoid. Build one as follows: provide one person with a radio receiver and
earphone, give a transmitter to a second person, then have the 'sender' give
orders which will be carried out by the 'receiver.' Even better would be a
video RF link so the 'sender' can see and hear through the 'receiver's'
eyes, and maybe a radio channel which controls vibrating transducers on the
'receiver's' body, so that the 'sender' can command movements with a
joystick rather than verbally. If one 'sender' runs several 'receivers,'
you've got the start of a small Borg civilization! Would you pay more to be
a sender or a receiver? Should be great fun at parties...
The same psychologist discovered that the WWII Nazi phenomena of ONLY
FOLLOWING ORDERS vs. ONLY GAVE ORDERS, DID NOTHING MYSELF could be used to
convert a pair of people into a psychopath. Responsibility for actions
becomes a closed loop and evaporates. As a consequence, the radio-controlled
'Cyranoid' pair is very dangerous. So David Letterman has built himself one?
Just wait until Dave gives an unwise order to his puppet and finds that the
person ACTUALLY CARRIES IT OUT! The 'slave' trusts the 'master' to give only
benign orders and stops thinking, but the 'master' may order something
terrible, just to see how far the 'slave' will go. When Letterman's slave
commits a crime, whose fault will it be?
If pure argon is injected into a laminar stream of air, the argon stream
will support sparks of enormous length. If connected to a fair-sized tesla
coil, the argon stream should produce linear arcs many feet long. Reach out
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