AOH :: XMASGIFT.TXT|
Humor: How much to spend on a Christmas gift for your girlfriend
Every year at Christmas time, guys around the world are confused
about how much money to spend on their girlfriend's gift. This is why
we are posting this simple form, which tells guys exactly how much
their woman is worth. And the best part is, it doesn't have to just
be used for Christmas. It is also good for: Birthdays, Anniversaries,
Valentines Day, Ground Hog Day, Martin Luther King Day, etc......
For the 1st six months, allow $10.00 for every month. + _____
For the 2nd six months, $5.00 for each additional month. + _____
For more than a year, $1.00 for each additional month. + _____
subtotal (A) = _____
Bonuses and Penalties
Has not yet "put out", subtract $5.00 per month. - _____
Has "put out", add a nickel for every month. + _____
Can cook a good meal, add $0.50. + _____
Quietly brings you beer during football games, add $1. + _____
"Nags", subtract a $1.37 per month. - _____
For an A cup, subtract $2.03 - _____
Cup size over B add $1.02 + _____
Inch of chest over 30" add $.13 + _____
Pound over 120 lbs subtract $0.54 - _____
If her ass is so tight you can bounce a quarter,
add the quarter. + _____
subtotal (B) = _____
Now calculate the grand total.
total (A + B) = _____
If the total is less than the cost of a piece of
Bazooka Bubble Gum(Tm), then you must give her what
she really wants this holiday, a ring:
Dial her phone number,
'Hey baby, Merry Christmas.'
Hang up the phone.
I hope this list makes your Christmas shopping easier. Unfortunately
you still have to think-up your own gift ideas. May I suggest a pair
of knee pads and a bottle of Scope(Tm).
From: email@example.com (Todd A. Scalzott)
Date: Thu, 9 Dec 1993 18:08:12 GMT
The entire AOH site is optimized to look best in Firefox® 3 on a widescreen monitor (1440x900 or better).
Site design & layout copyright © 1986- AOH
We do not send spam. If you have received spam bearing an artofhacking.com email address, please forward it with full headers to firstname.lastname@example.org.