You Know You're Whacked When....
                        by Suicidal Maniac

               Call:
               Dirty Bird's Nest WWIV
               150 MB - 300-9600 bps/HST
               618-397-7687



    You see little green elephants dancing on your desk.

    You wear a bra and you are a guy.

    Watching Julia Childs make meatloaf gives you a hard-on.

    You look both when crossing a street, but still almost get killed.

    You  go  to the grocery store with a list of 20 items and come out with
    only a jar of peanut butter that wasn't on there.

    Taking laxatives gives you a kick.

    Shaving seems brutal.

    You think of your toe as not only part of your body, but you.

    You let your dick lead the way right into a man hole  filled  with  gay
    black dudes named Calvin.

    You go to an orgy and don't understand why the people are doing that.

    You wear cut-offs, a T-shirt and no shoes to a casual dinner party.

    You are getting laid and stop to answer the phone.

    You look around and everyone is looking at you.

    You imagine what it would be like to be Papa Smurf.

    You  wish  that  you  had  put a clean pair of underwear on, due to the
    crust on the bottom of these.