LIFE ON A SUBMARINE

This list if for those personnel on shore duty who are within six months of
returning to sea duty on a submarine.  These are suggestions that will help you in
falling back into submarine routine.

1.  Don't sleep on anything wider or softer than a bench.
2.  Don't eat any food that you don't get out of a can, or you have to add water to.
3.  Spend as much time indoors as possible and avoid sunlight and patrol such
places as dark theaters, windowless buildings, closets, etc...
4.  Avoid hot baths, take short showers only.
5.  Repeat back everything anyone says to you.
6.  Go to the bank on Fridays and practice standing in long lines.
7.  Get in your car for six hours a day with both hands on the wheel but don't go
anywhere.
8.  Hang oily rags around the house to maintain proper oil concentration in the
atmosphere.
9.  Don't watch any T.V. except movies in the middle of the night.
10. Don't do your wash at home, pick the most crowded laundromat you can.
11. Optional for NUC's and A gangers, leave lawn mower running in your living
room six hours a day for proper noise level.
12. Have a paper boy give you a haircut.
13. Take hourly readings on your electrical and water meters.
14. Sleep with your dirty laundry.
15. Invite guests but do not have food to feed them.
16. Buy a trash compactor and use it once a week.  Store garbage in the bathtub.
17. Wake up every night and have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich on stale
bread, if there is any.  Optional meal is canned ravioli or cold soup.
18. Have a fluorescent lamp installed under your coffee table and lie under it to
read books.