Introducing:

                      The Norton Mind Doctor!

With useful utilities like:

Norton's De-Frag: Thoughts all cluttered up? Can't keep a straight
thought? Perhaps your thoughts are fragmented, With Norton, you can
reassemble your jumbled thoughts into clean, contiguous thoughts. You
can also optimize your thoughts, keeping those you access the most in
your short term memory.

Norton's Un-delete. Ever thrown something into your subconcious, and
had trpuble accessing it again? Have you ever forgotten anything?
(Anniversary, Birthdays, wifes name?) Fear not. With Norton, you can
recover subconcious memories into your short and long term memory with
ease.

Norton's Mind Doctor. If you've ever had memory loss, you know what a
traumatic experience it can be. Now, with Mind Doctor, you can retrive
memories lost in dying or dead brain cells, and copy them into fresh
brain cells.

Norton's Scrambler. Ever had to remember secret information? Now you
can keep that secret information secret. Not even famous psychics can
pickl your brains. Great for CIA agents!

Norton's Delete. Forget it! That's what you'll do when you use the
Norton's delete. For when you really want to forget last night, or that
truly awful boyfriend/girlfriend.

Norton's Mind Park. Keep those neurons safe at night. Just park your
brain, and your memories will be safe!

Plus so much more!!! Norton's Mind Refresh, Norton's Mind Calibrator,
it's all here for the extremely low price of $99.99. Specify Right
Brained, Left Brained or Bi-Brained. Operators are standing by RIGHT
NOW!

DON'T be a victim! Most brain crashes and nervous breakdowns can be
avoided!

Coming soon! Nortons full body checkup for WINDOWS!