AOH :: LBLBJOKE.TXT

Worlds Greatest Light Bulb Joke

"World's Greatest Light Bulb Joke" from the column Back End by John C. Dvorak 
in DEC PROFESSIONAL:

Q: How many DEC employees does it take to change a light bulb?
A:
 2 People - preliminary discussion on concept of change
 1 Person - devise and write formal bulb architecture
 2 People - feasibility study and timetable of events
 2 People - produce four utilities to reduce screw-in time (in addition to the 
            electric utility)
 1 Person - maintain ISO and DEC standards (sockets, voltage, AC/DC)
 4 People - commonality task force on bulb change
15 People - change bulb
 5 People - perform bulb functional test
 2 People - perform bulb load test
 3 People - perform bulb regression test
 1 Person - perform bulb performance analysis
 1 Person - perform bulb bottleneck analysis
 1 Person - follow-up study (bulb merge feasibility)
 1 Person - interface with Utilities Commission
 1 Person - interface with users. (Did they want incandescent when we only 
            supply non-tunable flourescent point product?) BAX (Bulbs Are 
            eXpensive)! 
 5 People - perform BOSE (Build Other Socket Enhancements) 
            compatibility/architecture study.
 3 People - ensure form (round/square, clear/frosted) follows function 
            (wattage, 120/240 volts, visible/ultraviolet, flashing, 
            flood/spot). 
 3 People - implement temporary alternative bulb socket for already(!?) 
            existing, successful, and profitable socket (bulb-in-one).
 5 People - determine how to market/package/distribute temporary alternative 
            bulb socket.
10 People - determine how to perform bulb change product split (control: 
            switches, dimmers; versus implementation: screw-in torque, 
            recovery strategies)
 1 Person - interface with utilities commission QA group
 1 Person - submit to BDC (Bulb Distribution Center)
 1 Person - set up BPR (Bulb Problem Reports) system
10 People - answer customer BPRs
11 People - football team to challenge bulb changers
t up BPR (Bulb Problem Reports) system
10 People - answer customer BPRs
11 People - football team to challenge bulb c


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