AOH :: BLONDES.TXT|
110 dumb blonde jokes
110 Dumb Blonde Jokes!!
1. Why don't Blondes eat pickles?
Because they get their head stuck in the jar.
2. Why do Blondes wear underwear?
To keep their ankles warm.
3. Why don't Blondes like to make Kool-Aid?
They can't fit 8 cups of water in that little package.
4. What do Blondes and cow pies have in common?
The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.
5. Why do Blondes like tilt-steering?
More head room.
6. How does a Blond turn on the light after sex?
She opens the car door.
7. What do Blondes and turtles have in common?
Once they're on their backs, they're screwed.
8. What's the mating call of the Blonde?
I think I'm getting drunk!
9. What's the mating call of the Brunette?
Is that damned Blonde gone yet?
10. Why did the Blonde write TGIF on her shoes?
Toes Go In First.
11. Why do Blondes wash their hair in the kitchen sink?
That's where you wash vegetables, isn't it?
12. What's the advantage of being married to a Blonde?
You can park in the handicapped zone.
13. What does a Blonde do first thing in the morning?
She goes home.
14. Why does a Blonde put fur on the hem of her dress?
To keep her neck warm.
15. Why did the Blonde cross the road?
Never mind that - What's she doing out of the kitchen?
16. How do you make a Blonde laugh on Monday morning?
Tell her a joke on Friday.
17. What do you call a Brunette sitting between two Blondes?
18. If a Blonde and a Brunette jump off a building at the same
time, who lands first?
The Brunette: the Blonde had to stop and ask directions.
19. A dumb Blonde, a smart Blonde and Santa Claus are walking
down the street. They see a dollar bill. Who picks it up
The dumb Blonde. The other 2 don't exist.
20. What do you call a blonde with a flat chest?
21. Two Blondes were out walking when they came upon some tracks.
The first Blonde said, "Those look like deer tracks". The
second Blonde said, "No, they look like moose tracks". They
were still standing there arguing when the train hit them.
22. Why don't Blondes wear hoop earrings?
They keep getting their high heels caught in them.
23. What do peroxide Blondes and 747's have in common?
24. What do Blondes and beer bottles have in common.
They're both empty from the neck up.
25. What is the only job a Blonde can do in an M&M factory?
26. Why was the Blonde fired from the M&M factory?
For eating all the W's.
27. How do you keep a Blonde secretary busy?
Give her a bag of M&M's and tell her to put them in alphabetical
28. Why don't Blondes get coffee breaks.
It takes too long to retrain them.
29. What do you do when a Blonde throws a grenade at you?
Pull the pin and throw it back.
30. How do you give a Blonde a brain transplant?
Blow in her ear.
31. How do you kill a Blonde?
Put spikes in her shoulder pads.
32. How do you make a Blondes eyes sparkle?
Shine a flashlight in her ear.
33. What do you call a zit on a Blonde's butt?
A brain tumor.
34. How can you tell when a Blonde has used your word processor?
By all the white out on the screen.
35. What do you call a Blonde with a buck on her head?
All you can eat for under a dollar.
36. What did the Blonde call her pet zebra?
37. How is a Blonde like spaghetti?
They both squirm when you eat them.
38. How is a Blonde different from a 747?
Not everyone has been in a 747.
39. What's the difference between a Blonde and a Limousine?
Not everyone has been in a limo.
40. Why does a Blonde fan her face?
To recharge (her air supply)
41. What does a Blonde say when she finds she's pregnant?
"Are you sure it's mine?"
42. Why did the Blonde climb the chain link fence?
To see what was on the other side.
43. What do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet?
Last years hide and seek champ.
44. What do you call 6 dumb blondes standing closely side-by-side?
A wind tunnel.
45. What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios?
"Oh look! Donut seeds!"
46. Why did the blonde stop using the pill?
It kept falling out.
47. Why don't blondes use vibrators?
They chip their teeth.
48. What do you call a blonde with half a brain?
49. What do you call it when a blonde dies her hair brunette?
50. Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?
You can park in a handicapped zone.
51. Why do blondes wear shoulder pads?
(rock head side to side) I dunno!
52. How do you kll a blonde?
Put spikes in her shoulder pads.
53. Why don't blondes eat Jell-O?
They can't fit two cups of water in the little boxes.
54. Why do blondes wear green lipstick?
Because red means stop.
55. Why do blondes wear red lipstick?
Because red means "Stop, wrong hole."
56. What is the mating call of the brunette?
"All the blondes have left!"
57. What's the mating call of the redhead?
58. What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her more
59. What do you say to a blonde that won't give in?
"Have another beer."
60. What's the first thing a blonde does in the morning?
61. What's the second thing a blonde does in the morning?
62. What's the first thing a blonde does after sex?
Opens the car door.
63. What does a blonde say when you blow in her ear?
"Thanks for the refill!"
64. Why do blondes have more fun?
They don't know any better.
65. What's the difference between a blonde and a computer?
You only have to punch information into a computer once.
66. What do a blonde and a computer have in common?
You don't know how much either means to you until they go down
67. Why do blondes always die before help arrives?
They can't dial the 'eleven' in 911.
68. What did the blonde say when asked "ever been picked up by the
"No, but I've been swung around by the tits."
69. Why do blonde girls have trouble achieving orgasm?
70. How do you drown a blonde?
Put a mirror on the bottom of the pool.
71. How does a blonde like her eggs?
72. Why did the blonde only change her baby's diapers monthly?
The box said "For 20 pounds."
73. What is the mating call of the ugly blonde?
"I said....I'M DRUNK!"
74. How does a blonde part her hair?
By doing the splits.
75. Why do blondes like tilt steering?
More head room.
76. Why do blondes have TGIF on their shirts?
Tits Go In Front.
77. How many blondes does it take to make chocolate chip cookies?
Two...one to make batter and one to peel the M&Ms.
78. How many blondes does it take to make chocolate chip cookies?
Three...one to mix the batter and two to squeeze the rabbit.
79. What's the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball?
You can only get three fingers in a bowling ball.
80. What's the difference between a blonde and the Titanic?
They know how many men went down on the Titanic.
81. How did the blonde try to kill the bird?
She threw it off a cliff.
82. Why was the blonde proud to finish her jigsaw puzzle in 6
The box said "2-4 years."
83. What do you say to a blonde with no arms or legs?
84. How does a blonde high-5?
She smacks herself in the forehead.
85. Why aren't there many blonde gymnasts?
When they do the splits they stick to the floor.
86. Why do blondes wear their hair up?
To catch everything that goes over their heads.
87. How does a blonde interpret 6.9?
69 interrupted by a period.
88. How do you brainwash a blonde?
Giver her a douche and shake her upside-down.
89. What do you call 15 blondes in a circle?
A dope ring.
90. Why did the blonde go halfway to Norway then turn around & come
It took her that long to figure out a 14 inch Viking was a TV
91. What do a screen door and a blonde have in common?
The more you bang them, the looser they get.
92. What does a blonde say after she's had sex?
"Gee...are all you guys on the same team?"
93. What's the irritating part around a blonde's vagina?
94. How do you describe a blonde surrounded by drooling idiots?
95. What is the worst thing about sex with a blonde?
96. What do blondes do for foreplay?
Remove their underwear.
97. What important question does a blonde ask her mate before sex?
"By the hour, or flat rate?"
98. What do you call a swimming pool full of blondes?
99. Why do blondes put their hair in ponytails?
To cover up the valve stem.
100. Why did the blonde drown in the pool?
Someone stuck a scratch & sniff at the bottom.
101. How do you get a blonde pregnant?
Come in her shoes and let the flies do the rest.
102. What is the difference between a smart blonde and Bigfoot?
Bigfoot has been spotted.
103. What do you call a fly buzzing inside a blonde's head?
A Space Invader.
104. What is a blonde's favorite rock group?
105. Why does a blonde take the pill?
So she knows what day it is.
106. What do you see when you look into a blonde's eyes?
The back of her head.
107. Why did the blonde have a bruised navel?
Her boyfriend's blond too.
108. What do blondes and cow patties have in common?
The older they are, the easier they are to pick up.
109. A cop stops a blonde woman who was driving down a motorway.
"Miss, may I see your driver's licence please?"
"Driver's licence? What's that?..."
"It's a little card with your picture on it."
"Oh, duh! Here it is..."
"May I have your car insurance?"
"It's a document that says you are allowed to drive the car."
"Oh this? Duh! Here you go..."
The cop then takes his dick out of his pants, while the blonde
"Oh no, not another breathanalyzer test!"
110. This well endowed blonde walks into the doctor's office for a
routine exam and the doctor tell's her to go into the exam room
and take off all of her clothes. She does, and he comes in
later, strips off his clothes, and runs towards her. She moves
and WHAM! he runs into the wall. She says, "DOCTOR BENNET!"
and he says, "Bend it, Hell! Broke it!"
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