X-NEWS: camins rec.humor: 1997
Path: spang.Camosun.BC.CA!news.UVic.CA!ubc-cs!uw-beaver!cornell!batcomputer!munnari.oz.au!uunet!mcsun!uknet!sersun1!okes
From: okes@solb1.essex.ac.uk (Oke S)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Computer types
Message-ID: <OKES.92Apr30135908@solb1.essex.ac.uk>
Date: 30 Apr 92 12:59:08 GMT
Sender: news@sersun1.essex.ac.uk
Organization: University of Essex, UK
Lines: 34


Definitions:

1. The Software scientist.
   This is a man who takes a mathematical algorithm, performs a series
   of transformations on it and ends up with a program in lambda-calculus.
   This program is _correct_, meaning it will do what it is supposed to.
   Now all he needs is a lambda-calculus interpreter, a stable operating
   system, a computer with a proven architecture and an uninterruptable
   power supply.

2. The Software engineer.
   This is a man who thinks that if he divides the task up into small
   enough pieces, it will disappear and he can go back to reading news.

3. The Programmer.
   The programmer will listen to your requirements, sit down and actually
   write you a program. Unfortunately, it doesn't do what you want it to, 
   but what the programmer thinks you _ought_ to want it to do.

4. The Hacker.
   The hacker will listen while you tell him what you want, say "that's
   easy", and type an amazingly long command line with about 30 pipes.
   As the line executes, you can hear the disk thrashing away with the
   effort of opening and closing all the temporary files.

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Analysis of television viewing figures has shown that 80% of people in this
	country are crap.