WHAT NOT TO NAME YOUR DOG

                         Thanks to Metal Communications

                  Meta World East AE  (201) 528-6467 P-Zandar

     Everybody who has a dog calls him "Rover" or "Boy".  I call mine Sex. Sex
has been embarrassing to me. When I went to city hall to renew his license, I
told the clerk I would like to have a license for Sex; he said he would like one
too. Then I said, "but this is a dog." He said he didn't care what she looked
like. Then I said, "you don't understand: I have had Sex since I was nine years
old." He said I must have been quite a kid.

     When I got married and went on my honeymoon, I took the dog with me. I told
the clerk that I wanted a room for my wife and me, and a special room for Sex.
He said that every room in the place was for sex. I said, "You don't understand,
Sex keeps me awake at night." The clerk said, "Me too."

     One day I entered Sex in a contest, but before the competition began, the
dog ran away and a contestant asked me why I was standing there looking around.
I told him I had planned to have Sex in the contest. He told me that I should
have sold my own tickets. "But you don't understand," I said. "I hoped to have
Sex on TV." He called me a show-off.

     When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the
dog. I said, "Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married." The judge said, "Me
too." Then I told him that after I was married Sex left me. He said, "Me too."

     Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking around town for him. A
cop came over to me and asked me, "What are you doing in this alley at 4:00 in
the morning." I said, "I am looking for Sex." My case comes up on Friday.